Justin,
It is actually quite simple. The two keys are good sanitation, and using enough yeast. Do those, and you'll be good.
I'd recommend getting a decent book on the subject, like Charlie Papazian's book. Probably three bucks on amazon (used). Easy reading, but it walks you through the process. There are many good books out there.
No reason it should be flat. And no reason it shouldn't taste good (or great!). PM me if you want detailed advice. I believe Liquor Barn sells homebrew supplies. All you need is some malt and some hops and some yeast. (and bottles, bottle caps, sanitizer, etc). There are several brewers on this forum, but I bet they don't check this part, because they're too lazy to cook anything other than beer.....
Nimbus, former homebrewer and pro-brewer
p.s. Checked amazon ten bucks for the newest edition. Probably should get that, a few things have changed - mostly better supply of yeast.
http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Homebrew ... 978&sr=8-1You might (dunno) be able to be friendly to your local brewers and have them give you some yeast. Just put it in a sanitized jar, bring home, and use for your next batch. It is a slight pain, but I often did it for homebrewers when I had my brewery. Nothing like good yeast to get your brew rockin'. But the stuff you buy at the homebrew store is pretty good these days too.
Dr. Nimbus Couzin