Ed's recent post about "Louisiana Mayo" has promoted me to post this rather lonnnng post. It's a little "blog" thingie I've been working on in my spare time for the past 6 or 7 months. If I ever learn how to design a website it might actually (someday) see the light of the internet. Until then I hope the few of you who manage to get through this dissertation enjoy it. Conflicting opinions are welcome.
P.S. I've got a shelf in my basement with another 20+ BBQ sauces and God only knows how many hot sauces to "review"
Stevie’s Condiment Hall of Fame and Shame
Permit me to introduce myself. I am Stevie “P” and I am the “King of Condiments”. This is not a self proclaimed title but rather one bestowed upon me by friends and acquaintances as well as my lovely bride who has accompanied me to countless grocery stores and hot sauce boutiques throughout the country. Originally this list was going to focus exclusively on BBQ Sauces, as good BBQ is one of my passions. It wasn’t long before I realized that by taking such a narrow approach I was doing the condiment consuming public a great disservice. Therefore, in addition to BBQ Sauces you will find micro-reviews of everything from hot sauces to wing sauces, to meat marinades, to some of your more interesting mustards and sandwich toppings. Before going any further it is important to note that I have intentionally refrained from rating or even mentioning many of the “national brands” that many people are familiar with. I do this for two reasons, first of all most folks have tried these products and have their own well seasoned opinions. Secondly (and most importantly) I have a strong aversion to most of them, having long ago discovered that locally produced or lesser known brands can be FAR superior. This is not to say that (for example) French’s Mustard doesn’t have a place in the world, it just doesn’t have a place here. In particular I have a VERY strong dislike for the “National Brand” BBQ Sauces (Hunt’s, Bull’s-Eye, etc, etc). I have found these products (most of which have corn syrup as their first ingredient) to be sickeningly sweet, extraordinarily easy to burn and worst of all most of them feel like a big slick “luggie” crossing your palette. If you use these sauces in the course of your cooking, you need to STOP as there are many-many more local and regional products that you will find far more pleasing.
Before we get rolling here, a quick word about how these products were rated. First of all this is NOT scientific. I usually try one or two products at a tasting and I try not to get all worked up about taking extreme steps to “level the playing field”. If I like something, I say so and if something sucks I say that too. So if you are looking for wine style reviews where I talk about the little nuances of flavor and aroma you are looking in the wrong place cause that ain’t gonna happen. Quite simply I rate things on a scale of 1-100. Kind of like when you were in school, anything much below a 74 indicates that we are NOT talking about a good product. On the other hand if I give a product a score of 100 that should be your indication to get into your car and drive as far as it takes to get some for yourself.
If you insist that this scoring system be taken to another level, here are some guidelines in determining overall worthiness:
96-100 An awesome product by any standards and well worth making an extraordinary effort to locate
90-95 An excellent product that is worthy your attention.
85-89 A very good product
80-84 A good product but usually with some nuance holding it back.
75-79 Fair, might not have widespread appeal or is otherwise lacking
70-74 Barely adequate. You might use this product in a pinch
00-69 Failure. Not worth your attention
Finally, just as a point of explanation, you will not find any pictures of the product attached to these reviews. The reason being that it has been my experience that (some) products lure you in with “fancy” or humorous packaging and/or labels and then let you down once you open the cap.
BBQ Sauces
D.B. Yummers Barbeque Sauce: Produced by D.B. Yummers LTD in Washington Courthouse, Ohio, this is one tasty little tomato ketchup based sauce and worthy of your attention. The sauce is a rusty red color of medium thickness. It has nice bits of minced garlic floating around in it and the flavor is very well balanced. A little sweet, a little spicy but nothing that would overpower the senses. This sauce cries out for some grilled chicken but I wouldn’t hesitate to use this sauce on any kind of BBQ. This BBQ sauce scores a solid 88.
Ole Ray’s Peach-A-Licious Barbeque Sauce: This St. Augustine FL product is just fine all by itself but it may be one of the better sauces if you like to “doctor up” store bought sauces. On it’s own Peach-A-licious is a sweet (somewhat “peachy”) sauce with a nice smokiness and a medium consistency and it would score well on its own. With that being said, after tasting this sauce I had the overwhelming urge to add a teaspoon of molasses, a teaspoon of Habanero hot sauce and another quarter cup of peach jam. Let’s go ahead and give this sauce an 87 based on its possibilities.
Great Lakes Grillin’ Sauce: Who would have ever thought some unknown outfit out of De-freaking-troit could put out a good “grilling sauce”…but they did. This catsup based sauce is a nice compromise between some of the better “local” sauces and the “national” brands. It has a moderate thickness with a nice blend of sweet and spicy (bordering on slightly hot). The fact that it is catsup based means it doesn’t have that slimy feel going across the palette. That being said corn syrup IS the 3rd listed ingredient, so I’d be a little careful slapping this stuff on too early in the cooking process lest you have some blackened chow. I’m going to give this one an 87.
Head Country Original Bar-B-Q Sauce: Let’s get one thing straight right now. I hate Oklahoma (which is where this sauce is made). I’ve lived there, it sucks and I’m never going back. Prejudices aside, the folks at Head Country have come up with a real winner here. This stuff is to BBQ Sauce what Tabasco is to hot sauces, that is to say the standard by which all others should be measured. In a word, this sauce ROCKS. It has a wonderful flavor and just the right consistency. When I’m doing my own BBQ this is one of two or three sauces that I “go to” each and every time. This sauce scores a 98.
John’s Bar-B-Q Sauce: Another VERY tasty sauce out of Oklahoma. John’s claims to be a “State Championship” winning sauce and after tasting it, I have no doubt this is true. I have used John’s extensively on all types of BBQ and found it to be one of the best “all around” sauces in my BBQ arsenal. John’s is a very well balanced sauce with a “just right” combination of tomato flavor and vinegary tartness. The consistency is a medium thickness, somewhere on the road between a true Memphis style sauce and some of the thicker Kansas City style sauces. Not quite as good as “Head Country” but this sauce scores a VERY respectable 99 on the grade sheet.
Head Country “Hot” Bar-B-Q Sauce: After growing to know and love the “original” Head Country sauce, this variation was a big disappointment. It is almost too hot (this coming from someone who enjoys a lot of heat) and as a result some of the other nuances of this sauce are masked. I’m going to rate this one a 79.
Curley’s Famous Hickory Smoke BBQ Sauce: If you like any of the national brand BBQ sauces, you are going to LOVE Curley’s. This sauce, produced in Hutchinson KS, is what most other “Kansas City” style sauces WISH they could be. It is sweet but not too sweet, thick but not too thick and it has just the right amount of “Smokey” flavor. Personally I’m going to give this sauce a 91…Some folks might have it rated much higher.
Big Bob Gibson Bar-B-Q Original WHITE Sauce: White BBQ sauces were at one time unique to parts of Alabama and Mississippi. Lately the word seems to be spreading and I have seen 2 or 3 other White BBQ Sauces occupying space on my grocer’s shelf (Wee-Willie’s puts out a good product). White sauces are primarily a base of mayo/vinegar and pepper and are used almost exclusively on grilled chicken. This sauce (voted #1 White BBQ Sauce at the American Royal BBQ Contest) lives up to its roots and has a very “mayo-ie” flavor with a nice vinegary finish. I sense that most people will be very indifferent to this sauce but that being said I’m sure it has its diehard fans. I’m going to give this one an 82 while acknowledging there will be some folks who would rate it a lot higher. Give it a try; you may be one of them.
Robert Rothchild Farm – Anna Mae’s Smokey Sweet Grill Sauce: The flavor of this sauce is almost as complex as the name. I continue to be impressed with the Rothchild products I have tried. This sauce is exactly what it says it is….Smokey and sweet with just the right balance of spiciness (jalapeno is one of the last ingredients). A taste of this sauce reveals multiple layers of flavors which I’m betting anyone will find tantalizing. Not your quintessential K.C. bbq sauce, this one VERY good sauce and will be worthy on just about any meat dish you could create. This sauce scores a solid 97…Very good.
Mustards
Thumann’s Horseradish Mustard: Produced by Thumann’s (“Since 1949”) of Carlstadt, NJ. This company’s claim to fame lies primarily in their Deli meats which were the first to be certified as “gluten free”. If I have ever tried any of their deli products I do not recall doing so. I certainly hope their other products are better than the horseradish mustard I tried. There was just something –wrong- with this product and I’m not sure I can put a finger on it. The mustard, the horseradish and the vinegar all seemed to be lacking. Bottom line is that there are LOT’S of good horseradish mustards out there and this is not one of them. I tossed this product after sampling it twice. This mustard scores a 69.
Bertman’s Original “Ball Park” Mustard: Produced in Cleveland Ohio and a staple at (old) Cleveland Stadium for over 50 years. This is the mustard of my youth and brings back fond memories of days at the ball park. This is a FINE brown mustard and is a favorite in NE Ohio as well as other parts of the country. It has a nice brown color with a pleasant vinegary “pop”. The mustard flavor really stands out when consumed on a hot dog with plenty of onions. Deducting a point or two for hometown prejudice this mustard still scores a very worthy 90.
Kosciusko Spicy Brown Beer Mustard: This mustard is made by the Plochman Co in Manteno IL. Plochman is probably best known for their tasty yellow mustard and this product is equally good (but not great). The label claims that this mustard is made with 45% Amber Lager. The lager seems to gives this mustard a very smooth flavor and a creamy texture. This mustard is spicy (but not hot) and the vinegar lingers long on the tongue. Good but not spectacular. I’m giving this one an 85
Sierra Nevada Porter and Spicy Brown Mustard: Nothing wrong with this mustard. It is exactly what it claims to be, a spicy brown mustard. This mustard is a distinct full bodied mustard with a nice vinegary finish and just a hint of graininess. The ingredients list Porter but it is indiscoverable to the taste. This mustard cries out for a juicy Wisconsin Brat. I’m going with an 89 on this one.
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and Honey Mustard: I’m not a big “honey” guy but this one got my attention. It has a very nice lingering flavor and I’d almost swear I can taste the Pale Ale in it…at the very least it has SOME kind of nuance. Folks that really enjoy Honey Mustard would probably rate this a bit higher than I have…87…That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Hot Sauces
Tennessee Sunshine Sauce: Produced by Reily Foods in New Orleans, this is a nice Tabasco style clone but with about half the heat. I am very fond of this sauce at breakfast time and often enjoy it on scrambled eggs and hash browns. It’s just the ticket when you want a little spice but don’t crave the heat. A nice “beginners” hot sauce that still possess “veteran” flavor. This hot sauce scores an 88.
Dave’s Gourmet Cool Cayenne Pepper Sauce: Just one of a number of hot sauces distributed by Dave’s Gourmet of San Francisco. This is another Tabasco style clone is one of the better sauces produced by this manufacturer. It is very similar to many other sauces of this genre with a nice vinegary start but a somewhat “in your face” level of heat in the finish. This sauce is good but is just a wee bit harsh and the score reflects this. Nothing too special so give it an 83.
Tabasco Brand Hot Sauce: This sauce needs no introduction. It is the mother to all other hot sauces and whether it is your favorite sauce or not, there is no disputing that Tabasco does a flawless job of mixing flavor and heat. This sauce scores a 96.
Tabasco Brand HABANERO Hot Sauce: When Tabasco began coming up with different “flavors” several years ago I thought to myself “Oh shit…here we go”. What better way to ruin an icon than to begin branching off into the great unknown. Oh how wrong I was. Tabasco did an excellent job of diversifying their product line and this sauce is a good example. Is this sauce for everyone? No. But then again that could be said for many of the high octane Habanero sauces. Yes this stuff is hot BUT unlike many Hab sauces this one doesn’t just stake its reputation on heat alone as it actually has great flavor. I’m giving this one a 94.
Captain Rodney’s “Heart of the Fire” Hot Sauce: This “made in the USA” sauce (???) is one awesome little hot sauce. It comes in a perky little 7oz. bottle with one of those flip top lids (the ones with the rubber gasket) and claims to contain the usual mix of tomatoes, vinegar, Habanero peppers and “spices”. What is not usual is the very nice balance of initial sweetness followed soon after by a high grade Habanero hot “pop” on your taste buds. This is one tasty sauce and I would highly recommend you look far and wide for this one (available at Publix). This sauce scores an earth shattering 98.
Gib’s “Bottled Hell” Hot Pepper Sauce: From Gib’s Classics Inc in Louisville KY (“The Ville”). This ‘sauce” is a bit different than most traditional hot sauces. It comes in a large (14 oz) bottle and has the consistency of thin ketchup. This sauce claims to be very versatile with “suggested uses” that include basting meat and making snack dips. The flavor is a bit unexpected, almost like a cross between BBQ Sauce and (traditional) hot sauce. The Jalapeño peppers cause this sauce to have nice heat but still permit the other flavors to come out. Not the best thing since sliced bread but acceptable none the less. We’ll give this one an 84.
Ring of Fire – Red Pepper and Roasted Garlic Hot Sauce: Ring of Fire Hot Sauces have been around for a number of years and have always had a fine line up of hot sauces. This particular sauce is no exception. Unlike many of the “in your face” hot sauces this one is more about flavor and less about heat (although it does have some of that). The flavors are exactly what one would expect, a distinct garlicky flavor with a richness of roasted red peppers. You will not be disappointed in this hot sauce, thus a ranking of 95.
Crystal Hot Sauce – EXTRA HOT version: A very simple “Tabasco” type sauce but with one exception…Where Tabasco fades after a minute or two, this stuff has some very lingering heat and will stay with ya for a while. It starts off with a nice tart (vinegary) taste but quickly makes the jump to hot. It’s not an “OMG” kind of heat but it DOES linger for a very long time. Just a wee bit on the harsh side, this sauce would be a fine addition to a batch of wings that needed just a little something extra. This sauce is not for cry babies, it does pack a few scoville units. Let’s go with an 87 this one.
Iguana “Red” Cayenne Pepper Sauce: OK, I admit it…I haven’t found an “Iguana” Sauce that I DIDN’T like. That being said their “Red” sauce has got to be one of their better ones. This is another “Tabasco” style sauce but I would not call it a clone. It has a flavor all its own, including a bit of sweetness which compliments tartness and really helps set it apart. The heat is about half again as hot as Tabasco and it does linger on the tongue for a bit. I’m going to give this wonderful Costa Rican sauce a 90.
Iguana “Radioactive” Atomic Pepper Sauce: Probably my least favorite Iguana Sauce. This Caribbean style sauce does not live up to its potential. Although it contains three different Chile peppers (Habanero, Tabasco and Cayenne peppers) the overall taste is somewhat pedestrian. The heat level, advertised as “explosively” hot, is in fact a bit weak for a hab sauce and does not linger on the tongue for any length of time. This sauce scores a respectable but not stellar 84.
Iguana “Mean Green” Jalapeno Hot Sauce: This green jalapeno sauce has the distinction of being voted “best overall” by a panel of distinguished experts…my friends. The flavor really stands out and the heat is what one would expect from a jalapeño based sauce. I don’t know that I quite share their level of enthusiasm but I really do enjoy this sauce and tend to always keep a bottle around. This sauce scores a solid 87
Blair’s Jalapeno Death Sauce: Let me get this off my chest…I’ve never been a big fan of Blair’s product line. Too much of this product line contains “Pepper Extract” (capsicum extract) and as a result many of them are all show and no go. In other words they possess a ridiculous amount of heat and no flavor. Jalapeño Death Sauce doesn’t fit this profile and as a matter of fact is one of the best jalapeno based sauces I have ever tasted. The difference maker in this sauce appears to be the addition of Tomatillos, something that gives this sauce a distinctive “fresh” flavor. The heat is along the lines of most jalapeño sauces, maybe even a bit milder. This is a very pleasant hot sauce. I’m giving it a 92
Jungle Jim’s Road Kill Hot Sauce: “Distributed” By Jungle Jim’s of Fairfield Ohio and manufactured by God knows who…I was all set to lay the mouth to this “private label” sauce but alas it’s not that easy. Is this one of my “go to” sauces? Not a chance. But it does have some interesting attributes I was not expecting. For one it does have a nice fruitiness (as a result of the Mangos, Pineapple and Raisons which are listed on the label) and the heat, while somewhat harsh is not completely overpowering. This might be a good sauce mixed with cream cheese and spread on a nice crisp cracker. I’m going with an 80 on this one.
Dave’s Temporary Insanity: Like most of the “Dave’s” sauces, this one is just plain stupid. It has virtually zero flavor but stakes its appeal on the addition of some high octane “capsicum extract” (which in and of itself has NO flavor…just heat). Make no mistake, this stuff is HOT…not THE hottest but certainly hot enough to get ANYONE’S attention. If you are looking for a sauce to use to get back at a mortal enemy, any of the “Insanity” sauces will fill the bill. Personally the only use I have found for this stuff is to dab a little on wood products (chairs, tables, etc) to keep the damn puppy from chewing on them. Trust me, one taste of this sauce and their chewing days are OVER for that piece of furniture. 60…and that’s being generous.
Pain is Good; Jamaican Style (Batch #114) Sauce from Original Juan’s (K.C. KS): Don’t let anyone kid you, Original Juan’s with their flask style bottles and funny faced labels puts out some damn fine hot sauces. This particular sauce is one of my favorites when I am in the need for a good old fashioned endorphin rush. It starts off with a nice vinegary/tomato “pop” and is followed almost immediately by a very fine, very hot and very lingering Habanero finish. I like most of Juan’s products and this is one of my favorites. This “not for wussies” sauce scores a 93
Hank Williams Jr. “Family Traditions” Jalapeno Hot Sauce: This (red) Jalapeño Sauce is nothing special…kind of like its namesakes music. The taste is very unbalanced with too much of a vinegary hit right off the bat followed by an almost “bitter” heat. On a positive note it does come in a neat looking Jack Daniels “style” bottle. Rating: 76
Nando’s “Chickenland” Hot Peri-Peri Sauce: This is the first South African hot sauce that I have ever tried. The primary pepper in this sauce is the African “Peri-Peri” pepper and the heat level seems to lie somewhere between a Habanero and a jalapeño. The heat does linger a bit longer than most pepper sauces but above and beyond that I suppose I’d have to call this sauce “average”. So it earns an “average” score of 83.
Melinda’s Red Savina Pepper Sauce: Whoa !!!...This is a “big girls” hot sauce, so put your big girl (or boy) panties on before you try this one. Melinda’s products have always held a fiery place in my heart and this blistering hot carrot based sauce is one of my favorites. Made from “Red Savina” peppers, which are basically a hotter variation of Habanero, this sauce is about as hot as I like them. It has a nice “fresh” flavor that it allows you to enjoy for about 1.2 seconds before it blows the back of your throat out. Don’t take me wrong here, this is a quality and well flavored hot sauce but it is NOT for beginners. I’ve always loved fresh women, so give this girl a 94. It IS what a Habanero pepper sauce should be.
Dips and Misc.
Robert Rothchild Farm, Roasted Pineapple and Habanero Dip: Made in Urbana, Ohio many of the Rothchild Farm Products are worthy of your interest. This one in particular, while not something I would eat every day, has kind of struck my fancy. It has a nice “island” flavor with the pineapple being right up front and the Habanero sneaking up on you to finish. Note that while it has a bit of heat this product is NOT what I would describe as hot. Yer Grandma could probably handle it. Suggested uses include as a baste for chicken, meat or seafood (I could see that). Personally I prefer pouring this stuff over cream cheese and enjoying on a nice wheat cracker. I’m going to go with an 85 on this one.