Time to own up to your "kitchen disasters"

Well I have said frequently that I operate according to Murphy's Law I posted on here recently about suggestions for an interesting dish to put out when I cook for about 80 or so of my EMS coworkers on Christmas. This will be the third year running and as it always seems to happen Murphy tends to strike me when it's REALLY important to me!

I thought the first year was bad enough when I fell asleep as I had pies cooking and didn't hear the alarm I set just in case...waking up to the very sensitive fire alarm at 4am Christmas morning not my idea of a great time! Nothing too bad except that the pies were a little "extra crispy." Thank goodness for Walgreen's staying open AND actually having pumpkin pie still in the freezer! Though that was nothing compared to year two...

Kroger told me the wrong closing time for Chistmas Eve and due to work couldn't go before then, thought I would have a heart attack when I got there as they were closing...we frantically looked for an open grocery and ended up having to go to a place at 24th and Market to finish up the shopping (I still cringe at the thought though thankfully they sent a crew to help my quickly so not as scary as it could have been) My fridge died on Christmas EVe with no hope of getting it fixed, so several coolers and propping open my storage freezer a bit while monitoring the temperature helped to fix that...then not only did my electric can opener die, so did the manual one! They actually dispatched an ambulance to (yet again) Walgreens to get me a replacement. Then I realized that I had never gotten my potato masher back from my friend post Thanksgiving, so I went to the mixer which subsequently died (after that decided to not use the kitchen plugs as I figured either I was cursed or the older wiring was suddenly deciding to act up). I ended up grabbing a large meat mallet which surprisingly worked quite well. Oh and not exactly cooking related but just as funny...with all of the multiple disasters going on I never had a chance to finish putting up my tree so in an exasperated and silly mood while several of us were talking about it I suddenly had a pretty goofy idea...the "Christmas Ficus" is now infamous at work, we even managed to get the star on top!

So this year I should be putting the finishing touches on the tree while making a final inventory of my cooking gear (and yes I got a backup can opener) this weekend, the shopping will be finished Tuesday, and I have already stated at work that even though the fridge in my new place is pretty new itself, I swear to goodness if anything happens to it I don't care how many firefighters it takes to haul it onto a truck and over here-I will steal the one from headquarters!

Good Luck Mandy! Merry Christmas!

Ooops, I should have added there that despite the fact I was close to having a nervous breakdown by the time the first batches of food were done I still managed to pull it off even with everything that happened. I figure if I could do that, this year should be a breeze! At least it was all good for a pretty big laugh, I actually walked into someone telling part of our EMT recruit class the story just the other day and they were all laughing their heads off!

My Mom and Dad ran a little cafe down on Armory St about 45 years ago. Open early breakfast, lunch and dinner. Dad made the biscuits one morning but grabbed the wrong quart container from the fridge. Instead of buttermilk he grabbed chocolate milk. He told everyone they were wheat biscuits.

And let the Christmas games begin! Our dispatch party was today, and amongst the things I signed up to bring food wise was cranberry sauce. I had done a test run for homemade sauce last week since I had never made it before and all went well. This morning when I stopped to get my paycheck (before grabbing a couple of last things from the grocery) I was bombarded by an officer who forgot to pick up his secret Santa gift and then the entire dispatch department who somehow forgot as an entire group to get their boss a gift. After running around taking care of those I had a LOT less time and got a little frantic. The berries came to a boil quicker than I would have guessed while I was getting gift wrap from the car, and here is where I learned my "something new" for today: cranberry/OJ mixture overboiling onto burner=fire! Ok so it was a SMALL fire under the burner and I got it put out fine once the burner was turned off, but as my heart rate started coming down I realized the sauce was done for. So Ocean Spray in a can from CVS it was!

I never seem to have any "kitchen disaters" with this cranberry, apple and chutney recipe.

Ingredients
1 (10 to 16-ounce) bag fresh or frozen whole cranberries,
2 crisp red apples, peeled, cored and sliced 1-inch thick
2-inch piece ginger, peeled and finely grated
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup water
Directions
Combine ingredients in a large pot. Bring to a simmer and cook until softened, reduced and thickened, about 30 minutes. Cool fully before serving.


http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/dave-lieberman/cranberry-apple-and-ginger-chutney-recipe/index.html

That does sound pretty good, though I think I am currently out of ginger. I may have to go get some later on once I recover from another crazy night at work as I do have the rest of the ingredients. Thanks for the recipe

Would this include being totally stoned out of my mind in the 70's and having a bunch of hot dogs boiling away only for me to zone out, the water evaporates and the dogs catch fire, thus catching the dump of an apartment I am living in on fire?

I think that counts!

Good one, Doogy!

Holy cow Doogy! You win

Time to revisit this thread.... this one could have been REALLY bad. This was today!

Doing three million things at once like I usually do... I decided to make a loaf of bread, so the guys in the house would wake up to fresh bread.
Now, I consider myself disorganized, but I can be slightly OCD at times. In the breadmaker I keep the necessary encoutrements, the measuring cup, the measuring spoon, the blade puller, and the instruction booklet.

Took out the measuring cup, etc. put the ingredients in by listed order, pushed the necessary buttons and let it rip.
Got ready to go to the restaurant, said goodbye to the hubs, and told him that the breadmaker has about 1:20 min. left in its cycle, keep an eye out, but it will shut itself off when complete.

Get to the restaurant, talk to partner, only to find out that our sandwich guy went out for a smoke, and never came back!
With that knowledge went to call home to see about possible back up (son is a possible candidate), he goes downstairs to kitchen while chatting, looks up and asks..." is the breadmaker supposed to be smoking"? I tell him no, maybe steam, but no smoke! I told him to pull the plug and he does. Flustered and rushed, he hangs up on me.

My phone rings, and the kid proceeded to tell me there was smoke, and embers, and needed water to put it out!

Are your ready? The instruction booklet was still inside undetected, and resting on the heating element! It was between the Pan, and the wall of the machine! The house could have gone up in flames... ! I feel like an idiot!

Moral of the story.... if things are not always "all together" that is okay people! It might be better that way.

The breadmaker has ash in it, and smells like smoke , but I think if I wipe it out, and put a box of arm and hammer in there for a millenium it might take the smell out.!

Thank G-d for series of events, and the house is still standing and no one was hurt.
BTW, Hubby was in the shower, and did not have a clue! (not good).

One for the books!

The breadmaker has ash in it, and smells like smoke , but I think if I wipe it out, and put a box of arm and hammer in there for a millenium it might take the smell out.!

Wow.....that's a near miss. Sure glad you all are alright!

You may want to try a suitable sized chunk of lump charcoal to remove the odor. Briquets aren't nearly as effective.

Reading these stories makes me feel much better about my own recent mishap. Here's a little tip...when making banana bread, make sure you don't mistake powdered sugar for flour. Trust me on this. I had four little bread pans of what could only be described as black, molten goo.