your funny story how you snuck booze in the infield on derby

alcohol is never permitted at the infield on derby. yet there is so much alcohol flowing. the coolers are inspected, somehow the booze gets past inspection. i was talking to a doctor friend of mine recently and he told me his creative way of getting alcohol in the infield. he would take a few of the saline filled bags and empty them and refill them with gin and vodka. being he was a doctor no questioned him. i found this to be funny and creative. any other creative stories. thanks.

I've spent the better part of a misspent youth sneaking (shall we say) "things" into concerts and other various events (not that I would do it any MORE mind you ). Over the years success was probably about 50-50...but like "they" say: Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose...but you ALWAYS suit up for the game

My most creative solution was many years ago while celebrating Halloween at Kent State University. During Halloween the town is overran with college revelers trying to outdo each other in terms of costumes and drinking ability. I chose to dress in a "Darth Vader" costume and under the cape of my costume I had concealed two magnums of wine in a backpack. I then ran two clear plastic hoses from the bottles of wine up under my Darth Vader helmet. Walked around all night getting hammered to the be-jeez-us...Even stood by (all the while sipping wine) watching John Law arrest a couple of kids for having open containers.

On another occasion a bunch of my friends and I were going to an all day rock music festival at Cleveland Municipal Stadium. The promoters made it clear that this was a "No cans or bottles" event...So we took a keg. We showed up at the gate and trash cans were overflowing with "contraband". The security guy took one look at my buddy and I man handling this keg, scratched his head and said (out loud): Well, it ain't a "can" and it ain't a "bottle"...So I guess you guys are good to go. We spent much of the concert sharing our good fortune with those around us. Do you have ANY idea what you can trade a cold beer for at one of these events ?

I dimly recall maybe hearing associates formerly known by me discussing having experimented with the following:

A variation of the ol' false cooler bottom trick. Turn your plastic cooler upside down. Using a variety of sharp instruments available only to you, cut out a large panel opening on the bottom equal to the size of the valuables you which to safe guard...(for demonstration purposes lets just say 2 flasks of very expensive bourbon). Once you have exposed the foam core use your sharp instruments to remove enough of the foam core to allow your valuables to nest inside. Now you simply break out a roll of man's best friend...Duct Tape...and carefully tape the plastic bottom panel back in. NO ONE is going to think to check the outside bottom of your cooler for contraban....errrr I mean your valuables. (Note: Given access to power tools this is one to let your imagination run wild on)

Hmmmm.....has this been my "outside" voice ?

I did not do this, but several years ago there was an Infield report of some Speed Engineering School students who were having a friendly competition to see who could "engineer" a way to get booze in.

The winner was a young female Speed student who entered the Infield as a 40DD and left as a 34B. Well, you get the picture.

Best one I ever saw was back in the late 80's. Going to the infield and the group going through the gate behind us had a guy in a wheel chair that was missing a leg. Needless to say, they filled his empty pant leg with all sorts of contraband!!!

We cut a small triangle out of a watermelon, and used a spoon to hollow out the watermelon. We then filled it with vodka, and siliconed the triangle back in place. The best part of this was when the guard thumped the watermelon and let us know what a ripe melon we were bringing in.

It helped that I did this when I was young and scantily clad:

I put a handle of vodka in a backpack, put a blanket and some clothes on top of it and then dumped a box of tampons right on top. I got in the line of the youngest male security worker and just smiled the whole time. He opened the backpack, took one look at the tampons and zipped it right back up in a hurry. He gave it back to me and nodded me through without being able to look me in the face!

I know, I know, shame on me But it WORKED!

It helped that I did this when I was young and scantily clad:

I put a handle of vodka in a backpack, put a blanket and some clothes on top of it and then dumped a box of tampons right on top. I got in the line of the youngest male security worker and just smiled the whole time. He opened the backpack, took one look at the tampons and zipped it right back up in a hurry. He gave it back to me and nodded me through without being able to look me in the face!

I know, I know, shame on me But it WORKED!

On the tampon topic, I heard a woman was arrested at Derby for selling pot that she snuck in inside tampons. She was apparently in the bathroom selling "tampons".

I bet they were expensive.

I've known various people in the medical field who do the IV bag trick, and actually suggested the melon trick to a couple of friends this year. The worst one I've ever heard of though was the person that faked a catheter bag. The person checking their line didn't question the contents of the cath bag strapped to their leg lol.

It helped that I did this when I was young and scantily clad:

I put a handle of vodka in a backpack, put a blanket and some clothes on top of it and then dumped a box of tampons right on top. I got in the line of the youngest male security worker and just smiled the whole time. He opened the backpack, took one look at the tampons and zipped it right back up in a hurry. He gave it back to me and nodded me through without being able to look me in the face!

I know, I know, shame on me But it WORKED!

On the tampon topic, I heard a woman was arrested at Derby for selling pot that she snuck in inside tampons. She was apparently in the bathroom selling "tampons".

I bet they were expensive.

I don't know... Sounds like a helluva way to get high.