i'm just not into you

Continue ignoring him and I suspect that sooner or later he'll take the hint, but there are some guys who like the chase and aren't put off by a little rebuff -- makes it more of a challenge to them....but I wouldn't reinitiate contact, as that would only encourage him...

...am I mistaken, or have you mentioned in the past that you do private investigative work? Perhaps a little background check on this guy is in order....just to keep in your back pocket....

take his next call. Time to get rude. Tell him "NO" in no uncertain terms and then explain you are blocking the rest of his calls and then do so. That is... Unless the continued calls are really just a little bit flattering? Maybe?

[Robin Garr]

Sounds very close to stalking, Annemarie. There are laws about that ...

I agree with Carla. Talk to him. I'm glad you've not heard from him lately, but if he does call again then it is time to be a b*tch.

If the guy is a wacko, you need to make sure he knows that you aren't victim material.

Sounds very close to stalking, Annemarie. There are laws about that ...

Whether it's "stalking" will depend on the nature of his conversations w/Annemarie....under KY law, there must be an explicit or implied threat of physical harm, sexual contact or death in order to constitute 1st or 2nd degree stalking....barring anything like that, if he persists in contacting you, there may be grounds for invasion of privacy (a civil action)....unless you're contacting him, as well, then he can always argue that he was just calling you back....THAT'S why you should be careful about communicating with him.

John is right, and you need to be very careful. Since you have caller ID, use it. You might want to keep a log of dates and times of attempted calls, to use if you need to resort to legal. I understand Carla's approach, and she may be right, but another way to look at it is any feedback you give him, even negative, might give him incentive to continue the harrassment. You want to avoid going the legal route unless he keeps it up, but don't hesitate if he doesn't burn out. You've been kind and clear. Ignoring him now won't be rude. If he's a decent but persistent guy, ignoring him will work eventually. If he is someone to be more concerned about, letting him know he's bothering you might be just what he's looking for. Be safe. And alert. And assume he's a problem until he proves he's not.

My qualifications for making these suggestions: I'm a guy.

Girl..I would just tell him straight up (and you can be polite about it)" I just am really not interested in seeing you, could you please stop calling me, it's getting annoying." If he doesn't get the hint after that, then he is definitely whacko. Honestly, I would probably never have gone out with him after he told you that you were "too classy for him" the first time. But I have gone on my fair share of horrible dates.. Really, put a stop to this now. what a weirdo he is!

Megan said exactly what I was thinking. Tell him in no uncertain terms to stop calling. Be clear. Maybe he's not picking up on the hints.

Your story reminded me of a situation I was involved in about one million years ago. Me and my roommate/best girlfriend lived together in an attic apartment on Bonnycastle. It was in the days before cell phones and caller ID. She had given her (aka our) phone number to a guy who didn't take the hint when she stopped returning his calls.

He would call our apartment four or five times a day and ask for her. I was polite and took the messages, but I had been given strict instructions to tell him that she was not home. This went on for about a week or two. And then one day, the guy flipped out and yelled at me and accused me of not relaying his messages. I had had it at that point....and blew.

I finally said, "Look. I'm going to be blunt here.... I give her your messages. There's a reason she's not calling you back. She doesn't want to talk to you. Take a hint. Don't call here again.".............and that was that.

Some people don't pick up on subtle. They need to be hit over the head with a club. This applies to both guys and girls (just in case this thread is starting to sound one-sided).

Go with your gut. If he seems "off," he probably is!

Don't forget the 'I've fallen back in love with my ex-husband/ boyfriend' ploy. You know, the ex that is: a police sargeant, MMA fighter, recently paroled 'manslaughterer,' etc. Be sure to tell him you left because of anger management issues (but he's gotten over them now and REALLY loves you.)

Just tell him you have to wash your hair.