Talking to guests about a small tip?

There is an interesting thread on Serious Eats about whether it is appropriate, or totally inappropraite for a server to question a guest if they leave a very small tip ( less than 10%).

Here's the thread:

http://www.seriouseats.com/2009/04/serv ... dium=email

What say you guys about whether this is acceptable, or bad customer relations?

Deb

Personally, I wouldn't have minded her question. I have accidentally mis-computed a tip, and at the time we drove back later that night to give the server more money; a query like hers would have saved us a trip!

When I have had bad service leading to a lower than normal tip, I don't give the check with signed card or tip to the server. Instead, I ask to speak to the manager, give them the info, and explain why I'm cutting the tip. This eliminates any discomfort I might have in talking to the server, and addresses someone with the ability to make changes. (As my friends in the business say, they don't mind anyone with a problem telling them; they are afraid of those with problems who leave without telling anyone)

It would probably the last time I visited that restaurant. I check my tip two or three times before I leave a place. If the service was horrible I shouldn't tip to begin with, but I always do. I would go through the roof if I left a small tip and then was questioned about it. I think crappy servers probably figure out they are crappy pretty fast. If you are great at what you do the large tips should make up for the not so large (10%) tips. It could also be the 10% tip was on a $100 bottle of wine. I think it is crazy someone expects $20 to open a bottle of wine. Hell, give my the thing I'll do it myself.

hen I have had bad service leading to a lower than normal tip, I don't give the check with signed card or tip to the server. Instead, I ask to speak to the manager, give them the info, and explain why I'm cutting the tip. This eliminates any discomfort I might have in talking to the server, and addresses someone with the ability to make changes. (As my friends in the business say, they don't mind anyone with a problem telling them; they are afraid of those with problems who leave without telling anyone)

Well Said Andrew. This is by far the best way to handle the situation. I have had customers who left terrible tips for my server and on the way out say everything was great. There is no real comfortable way to handle this. The server is mad but I am certainly not going to chase them out the door. When I was server in NYC in the 90's I worked at a place where the boss thought it was fine to for us to question a tip amount but I still felt weird. and never would.

There is an interesting thread on Serious Eats about whether it is appropriate, or totally inappropraite for a server to question a guest if they leave a very small tip ( less than 10%).

Here's the thread:

http://www.seriouseats.com/2009/04/serv ... dium=email

What say you guys about whether this is acceptable, or bad customer relations?

Deb

Totally inappropriate...period.

It is not proper for a server to question a guest's tip. Ever. I rely on gratuities to pay my bills, and it is upsetting when you feel financially slighted by a guest. It may even, well, piss you off. But, as with all things, the way you handle it says something about your character. Personally, I choose not to let myself worry about it, as I am quite satisfied with who I am. I know that I give everybody the best service I possibly can. It's just money people - nobody's shooting at you.

SO many time when I was serving I wanted to do that, but I never would.

When I met my husband he thought that 5 dollars was a good tip, no matter the bill. He was from a very rural area and 5 dollars would have been a great tip anywhere that he might have eaten before he came to Louisville. Our first couple of dates I went to the "ladies room" after he paid and sought out the servers to supplement the tips he left. After I felt comfortable telling him, I explained how tips work and he's changed his ways, but I can only imagine how insulted he'd have been if a server told him.


I think it would be very tacky for a server to question a tip, but I do think that it is good for people to educate their friends that might not tip properly if it is done with sensitivity.


*I should add that I considered not seeing him again because of the poor tipping, but I am glad I did. Bad tippers are not bad people and they can make great husbands!!

I guess for me it would depend on the restaurant. If the staff didn't know me, then I would be highly offended and probably wouldn't go back. But if I was a Jack's Lounge and one of the servers I know said something, it wouldn't bother me because it was most likely a mistake.

Let me apologize right off the bat for just jumping into a thread without introducing myself(first post). The most interesting part of that blog was the responses afterwards. As a back of the house person it blows my mind that many of the comments to that blog were of the mindset that if a person isn't going to tip well they shouldn't go out to eat. How does that help? As a chef who hasn't forgotten what it is like to work by hourly pay it really turns my screws. You are not the only person that works at that restaurant. The mexican dishwasher has a wife and kids and is probably working 2 if not 3 jobs. Hell some of my cooks have to work 2 jobs. If people want to come to eat and all they can tip is ten percent; well dammit thats ten percent you didn't have at the beginning of the day.

Welcome to the Forum, J!

Deb

When I was a server, I never approacheed a customer about a bad tip. It took awhile to get over getting poor tips - as I thought and was told I was a good server - but, over time, I just came to accept the law of averages.

The only time I became resentful in regards to tips and customers were in those occasions where some macho dude got a kick out of running me all to hell and then got greater enjoyment out of stiffing me. Those moments called for a belief in karma and also a bit of sympathy. If that's how he got his enjoyment, well, it must suck to be him.

To inform a guest of "tipping protocol" is to force your norms on someone else. It's a norm/suggestion not a law/entitlement.

When it comes to restaurants I can think of no other industry where "teamwork" is of such importance in customer satisfaction. So in my little fantasy world we would get away from this "front of the house" vs "back of the house" nonsense. The wait staff should be paid an honest wage commensurate with their duties, experience and efficiency and gratuities should be divvied up among the entire house. It's never going to happen but those are my thoughts (I'm just guessing but I bet the same employees who would consider confronting a paying customer over a perceived slight would scream bloody murder over this arrangement).

[Robin Garr]

http://www.seriouseats.com/2009/04/serv ... dium=email

Very interesting blog, by the way, Deb. Thanks for introducing it, separate from the subject of this topic. I think I'll add it to our links page.

I used to ask if everything was satisfactory, which did very little good.
Now I figure the poor tippers just know their own worth.
It all absolutely, positively evens out in the end, and if a person takes it personally for more than 30 seconds they are in the wrong profession. IMHO

Thank you Deb, I have been a fan of the site for awhile and finally decided to get on board. As far as BOH and FOH relations. I can't do my job without them and they wouldn't have a job without us in the back. I will say I respect the job that they have to do and my service career ended shortly after it began at the age of 16. I am not of those chefs who enjoys going to tables and talking to the guests (but I do). I am also; I feel a very generous tipper 30-50 percent depending on service and establishment. I will not hesitate to give a less generous tip if the server has even the slightest "attitude problem" however. I just feel that in these economic times the last thing we need is the people that work in this industry (FOH or BOH) to have an attitude of if the guest isn't going to spend a lot of money they need to stay home. It just makes no sense.