There where 2 people in the New Albany Ace Hardware with University of Louisville shirts on, so I think I'm ok. As a 5 day resident of New Albany, I hope I am not breaking non-spoken rules by participating in a Louisville based discussion, as a non-Louisville resident.
As our country has apparently progressed under the umbrella of "Change" over the past few months, my personal "Change" included fun life events such as a divorce and being fired from my dream job. So I have relocated and despite recent personally tribulations, I do consider myself lucky to have found a good job in our current economic status.
I have dinned in outstanding Louisville restaurants over the past several years on business trips related to the KY Derby and golf events. Though over the last week, my dining has consisted of quick carry-outs and drive throughs. Needless to say, my pants are becoming rather tight. I am not buying a stove or refrigerator until I finish remodeling my kitchen, so the past few days have meant no cooking. I don't start my new job for another week and have spent the last 5 days remodeling my new house, drinking disgusting amounts of alcohol, and eating carry-out and fast food. Working all on my house hasn't left much time to eat in the outstanding local restaurants. Not that I would have, given my closest acquaintance is several hundred miles away and I don't really enjoy dining in restaurants alone.
So, here are some of my "culinary" experiences since I have moved here. The dirty seedy side of a foodies life...drive throughs and carryout.
First meal as a Hoosier: Arby's. So, I like their Reuben, sue me. After 4 hours of drunk sleep, followed by 6 hours of hanging cabinets, I am starving. I get back to my house eager to devour my meal. My paper bag then reveals a roast beef sandwich with a God-aweful cheese sauce and cold curly-fries. I want my Reuben. Arby's is now dead to me.
Way too many beers yesterday. I need to eat good pizza. The guy at Ace Hardware, apparently my calk gun was inspired by my ex-wife and also left my sometime during my move, advised Arnie's Pizza was a incredible. He was wrong, The pizza tasted like some combination of Tombstone Pizza with my high school cafeteria pizza.
Just spent another few hundred at Home Depot and see the sign for 5 Guys. This was an outstanding burger. If your definition of a good burger has to include words such as: Portobello or cheeses name's that I can't pronounce and cost more than decent strip steak; then this is not the place for you. Grilled onions, A-1, hot sauce and a little mayo topped my sandwich. Accompanied by malt-vinegar covered fries, I was treated to a terrific meal.
After another budget-unfriendly trip to Lowe's, I found myself at a Chinese buffet. After staying up until 5AM installing bathroom tiles and completing a brilliant fifth of KY bourbon, a buffet seemed to be the perfect remedy for my ills. I don't remember the name of this establishment, but if was in a strip-mall across the street from Lowe's This was the worst meal of my life. It's a Chinese buffet. What were you expecting you snobby SOB? Allow me to retort, if you please. My expectations for this type of establishment are low. I want the food that is supposed to be hot, to be hot. I want to be able to identify what the meat is in the dish. Given my palette may be slightly off by the previous nights bourbon binge, but I should be able to know I am eating chicken, pork, or beef. Then there was the egg-roll. The last few months of my life have really sucked, but given the choice between either having my wife leave my followed with a dessert of losing my job or tasting that egg roll, I would find myself as a single, unemployed man. The egg roll tasted like some sort hybrid of a waffle cone and a stale Triscuit.
Iguana's.....a good meal. For this class of Mexican food, I could not have asked for better. Still slightly buzzed from the night before (I got my bathroom done...stop judging me), I encounter good chips, excellent salsa and some exotic dip. I ask my charmingly beautiful waitress, "What is this dip?" Her reply, "Ranch Dressing." My palette is apparently overrated. I ordered the Carne Asade Burrito. Simple but very good. I was intrigued by the fried cactus on the menu and will be sure to try it next time.
Insanity can be described as doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. Double Cheeseburger and fries from McDonald's. Cold and bad, just like every other meal I have had at McDonald's. Consider me insane.
