OK, I get that we're in a recession, but I need a pep talk.

Man, I've just come from a brutal shift. Things are dead lately, everyone is dead lately, but what are your thoughts on this?
I worked as hard as I know how to do, I gave excellent service, and among others received the following tips:
$10 on $120
$15 on $105
and $25 on $185 after 3 hours of service and hanging around for 1.5 hours after closing.

I'm not trying to be spoiled or bitchy, but really!?

I know I provided excellent service. In fact the only thing I know I screwed up was that I forgot to bring an generous tipping regular, extra ketchup, which I feel horrible about, and they still were my only table that tipped over 15%.

Am I wrong to think that if you can't afford to tip properly on that extra $55 bottle of wine, maybe you shouldn't be going out? I realize we're in a recession, believe me, I'm living it hardcore. I just don't see why you should make your server suffer. I mean, if you're broke, maybe don't go out. I realize that perhaps these people are trying to still support local businesses in spite of having less money, but am I wrong to not be completely offended by this? I mean, it's a reflection on my work right? If you can't afford to get what you want and tip well, what's my incentive to do a good job? This just seems like a slippery slope. And frankly, after 10 years, I'm not willing to bend over backwards for 10 percent tips. I've accommodated some pretty off the wall requests, but the way things are going I'm just in disbelief thinking about how much I've done for some of these people over the years and how they could just up and leave such an insulting tip. </rant>

Jeremy, I would feel insulted as well. These people are either uninformed as to proper tipping or are just cheap. Keep the faith man. Hopefully your luck will change and you will start getting customers who appreciate your great service and will tip accordingly.

Jeremy, that is tough. I am sorry. Nights like that in a restaurant make it terrible. Serving is either a super high or a super low. We took our employees to Havana Rumba tonight. There were only six of us, but we were there for three hours. Our server was amazing. The food was amazing. The drinks were amazing. We gave him a $100 tip on our bill because everything was perfect and we took up a table for so long. Plus, it's the holidays and we know our servers need extra cash this time of year just as much as everyone else.

I guess my point is that I hope other people will act like we did this season and you get people that balance out the bad.

Thanks guys...I just needed someone to say "You're not crazy, we're all broke, but those customers were a bit out of line."

I mean really?! Merry Christmas indeed.

I only patronize places where I can afford to eat and tip twenty percent. Perhaps the people who stiffed you should do the same.

Am I wrong to think that if you can't afford to tip properly on that extra $55 bottle of wine, maybe you shouldn't be going out? I realize we're in a recession, believe me, I'm living it hardcore. I just don't see why you should make your server suffer. I mean, if you're broke, maybe don't go out. I realize that perhaps these people are trying to still support local businesses in spite of having less money, but am I wrong to not be completely offended by this? I mean, it's a reflection on my work right? If you can't afford to get what you want and tip well, what's my incentive to do a good job? This just seems like a slippery slope. And frankly, after 10 years, I'm not willing to bend over backwards for 10 percent tips.

Yup, it's bad at there and there's a good chance it will get worse. It's not a reflection on your service merely on their pockets. You may be changing your mind about your willingness to work for 10% tips if that's all there is to be had. Would you REALLY rather they not come out at all if they're not willing to tip 20%+? Would you rather they didn't come out at all and spend what little they have in the restaurant that employs you? This is the first REAL recession (near depression) this generation has experienced. What will you do if more restaurants close and there's a flood of available food servers looking for jobs that ARE willing to work for 10% ? Back in the 70s I remember losing a job to another bartender because he had a Masters Degree! Jeez, like what do you need a MD for to tend bar? But that's how stiff the competition was then.

Am I wrong to think that if you can't afford to tip properly on that extra $55 bottle of wine, maybe you shouldn't be going out? I realize we're in a recession, believe me, I'm living it hardcore. I just don't see why you should make your server suffer. I mean, if you're broke, maybe don't go out. I realize that perhaps these people are trying to still support local businesses in spite of having less money, but am I wrong to not be completely offended by this? I mean, it's a reflection on my work right? If you can't afford to get what you want and tip well, what's my incentive to do a good job? This just seems like a slippery slope. And frankly, after 10 years, I'm not willing to bend over backwards for 10 percent tips.

Yup, it's bad at there and there's a good chance it will get worse. It's not a reflection on your service merely on their pockets. You may be changing your mind about your willingness to work for 10% tips if that's all there is to be had. Would you REALLY rather they not come out at all if they're not willing to tip 20%+? Would you rather they didn't come out at all and spend what little they have in the restaurant that employs you? This is the first REAL recession (near depression) this generation has experienced. What will you do if more restaurants close and there's a flood of available food servers looking for jobs that ARE willing to work for 10% ? Back in the 70s I remember losing a job to another bartender because he had a Masters Degree! Jeez, like what do you need a MD for to tend bar? But that's how stiff the competition was then. Be grateful you have a paying job right now. It could be a great deal worse.

I mean, if you're broke, maybe don't go out. I realize that perhaps these people are trying to still support local businesses in spite of having less money, but am I wrong to not be completely offended by this? I mean, it's a reflection on my work right? If you can't afford to get what you want and tip well, what's my incentive to do a good job? This just seems like a slippery slope. And frankly, after 10 years, I'm not willing to bend over backwards for 10 percent tips.</rant>

Ask yourself this...Would your wallet really be better off if these people hadn't come out? What about the place you work for...would they be better off if these people stayed home? You might want to rethink this one.

I'm with Greg and Carla on this one. If everyone who couldn't afford to tip what you expect them to, stayed home, you would be out of a job, and your place of business may well go under. Instead of complaining that they aren't tipping you enough, be grateful that they're coming to your establishment at all. I'm sure you work hard for your money, but in this economy, lots of people are having to take paycuts, and are working for less than they deserve. They aren't complaining, they're grateful to have jobs.

It's a reflection on my work right? If you can't afford to get what you want and tip well, what's my incentive to do a good job? This just seems like a slippery slope. And frankly, after 10 years, I'm not willing to bend over backwards for 10 percent tips. I've accommodated some pretty off the wall requests, but the way things are going I'm just in disbelief thinking about how much I've done for some of these people over the years and how they could just up and leave such an insulting tip. </rant>

OK, Jeremy .... I'll probably get flamed for this ... but shouldn't your incentive to do a good job be your own work ethic and not whether someone tips you accordingly? Don't get me wrong; I believe people should tip their server well and I am very generous for good service ... even carry-out! However, if - in my business - the only time I did an outstanding job was for the people who tip me well ... I wouldn't be working very much. Maybe I am way out in left field here as I do NOT work in the food service industry. However, I can tell the difference between a server who is just going through the motions and one who is genuinely interested in me having a good time at their establishment and hustles to insure that outcome. Guess who is going to get the 25% or more tip? There have been more times than I care to mention when I haven't been given good service because I am a "woman"; hence, the perception that the tip will not be as generous. Big mistake on the server's part .... BIG mistake.

Sure, I would like to think we live in a world where you are rewarded for hard work. In some places that is true. But in the long run, you have to live with yourself and how you treat others. If you know that you did everything within your power to treat your guests as if they were your own and they still did not leave you a good tip ... yeah, that bites and hopefully, karma will bite them back at some point in time. But you never know who is walking through that door, so shouldn't you give it your best shot every single time?

When you get to the point that the tip determines what type of service you provide ... well, it might be time to find another line of work at that point.

(and yes, Jeremy, they should have tipped you well for your service ... I'm sorry that didn't occur. But that reflects more on them than it does on you.)

Rebecca- I'm not going to suddenly be lazy and give bad service, I was just making a point...if we're supposed to work for tips and the standard of what people tip go way down, the standard of service is bound to go down as well eventually. I happen to love serving for the most part, and get really into creating a unique experience for customers. I know my product, especially bourbon and wine, and take pride in that. It's just a real bummer to give 100% and get 10% back.

And I get your points Greg & Michelle...bear in mind that I had just gotten off work when I wrote that, and it's pretty disheartening to do the same amount of work you always do and suddenly get half of your average pay.

But I'll say this- I still think that just because things are bad out there it's wrong to take that out on a server. If you are broke, maybe don't get that appetizer, or get a cheaper bottle of wine. It's pretty rude to leave a lousy tip for good service IMHO.

[Robin Garr]

For what it's worth, I touched on this topic in an article in the LEO Dining Guide in October, "Champagne Dining on a Beer Budget":

Now that we’ve given you all these money-saving ideas, let’s finish up with a couple of Thou Shalt Nots.

The first is so simple that we shouldn’t even have to tell you: Thou Shalt Not run out on your bill without paying. Not only will this criminal act earn you really bad karma, it might get you arrested and facing charges. Don’t even think about it.

The second warning can bring equally bad juju, but probably not the constabulary. Still, the rule is firm and unbreakable: Thou Shalt Not Stiff the Server. No matter how broke you are, if you’re dining in a fancy place — even on the cheap — you need to take care of the poor attendant who had to hustle out your hot dinner and do all the other jobs a server has to do. In this day and age, 15 percent is no longer sufficient; tipping at least 20 percent is the right thing to do, and if that’s difficult for you, just remember that your server is struggling through the same recession you are.

Full article:
http://www.leoweekly.com/arts-entertain ... eer-budget

My point is this...nobody was taking anything out on you. There could be a million reasons why the tip wasn't up to your standards. Perhaps these folks don't realize what a good tip is. Maybe they don't go out to eat much. Perhaps, as was said earlier, they are just cheap. You never really know someone's circumstances. But saying that people shouldn't order drinks/appetizers, etc, if they can't afford to leave YOU a good tip is kind of like shooting yourself in the foot. That extra money spent on those items goes towards making sure you have a place to work. I highly doubt that the sub-par tip was left as an insult. It sucks that you had a bad night, but be grateful you have a place to work, as there are many, many people in the unemployment line who would have been more than happy to receive those tips.

Another point: what may have been perfect service to you, may not have been perfect service to your guests. Not that you didn't do a fabulous job (I'm sure you did), just that some people are especially hard to please. Believe me, I know. I deal with people who want me to deliver the moon, on demand, all day.

Recession aside, as a diehard 20% (and $1 per drink) tipper, I've never been able to afford to eat at high-end places. The cost of the meal combined with the cost of a large tip has always just been out of the question for me. It shocks me to hear that there are people who have the nerve to go eat at those type of places without tipping their server appropriately. Wow, sad.

NPR just had a story about tips in a down economy on Tuesday http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=98339220&ft=1&f=1006

I don't know if I pasted the link correctly - sorry.

On a personal note, I feel if we can't afford to tip as we always have, we should choose lower cost places to eat or stay home.