Sending stuff back...

What's the proper etiquette for sending stuff back in the new restaurant world? If my medium rare burger comes out well done, I'd try to eat it but there are limits.

Just wondering what the expectations are.

I don't want to be "that guy" who costs the restaurant extra money.

I also don't want to end up on social media where a waiter posts, "this is the guy who had the nerve to send something back after all we're going through."

I have to admit, my fear of having a really bad meal and how to deal with it adds to my reluctance to go back to restaurants, though it's not the primary issue keeping me away right now.

[Robin Garr]

Good question, Mike. My first instinct is to say same as the old way, modified: Call in immediately, tell them your problem, and invite them to offer a solution. Perhaps they'd come out, take it out of your trunk, invite you to wait while they fix it, and then bring the replacement back out to your trunk. Maybe some credit put back on your card, although that's hard to justify if they make it right.

I'll be interested in seeing what others think.

This is all assuming curbside, by the way, and that you live close by. For delivery, it's simple: Don't order something that has to arrive cooked to a certain point. Time is not on your side. We had that issue a bit with fried softshell crab tacos from Red Hog a while back. The crabs were excellent, but the crisp-fried thing was pretty much lost by the time we got them home and plated.

Hey Robin, thanks for the response. I was actually wondering about eating at the restaurant more than delivery or curbside pickup.

I almost want to offer to pay for an extra meal rather than cause problems for the restaurant. Just hate to cause problems but you gotta eat!

Just wondering what the expectations are.

The expectations are that we--the professionals--cook your food how you request it. Mistakes happen, however, and so long as no one's indignant or hateful it's no harm. Considering you're even concerned about being a bother tells me you're neither of those.

If you do feel guilty, you can always alleviate it by ordering that dessert you usually talk yourself out of.

This is all assuming curbside, by the way, and that you live close by. For delivery, it's simple: Don't order something that has to arrive cooked to a certain point. Time is not on your side.

As cooks, we have a battle cry for this even for dine-in. If entrees are fired and sit in the window for more than a minute, inside and outside expos start shouting, "Food dying in the windooooooow!"

If you ever hear the cry as it comes from the kitchen and your server has been noticeably MIA: ask not for whom we cry, we cry for thine meat.

[Robin Garr]

Mike, it's tough when a desire to be kind conflicts with getting the meal you want! On the one hand, I hear you about going gentle on restaurant folks through this rough patch. On the other hand, I think most folks in the industry would really rather have the chance to make it right than to have you go away quietly disappointed.

That's a great point. If not speaking up leads one to quietly seethe, and maybe not return to the place, that would be a greater harm (OTOH, I keep going back to Grind even though they usually overcook my burgers!). I like the idea of balancing it by adding a purchase, dessert or to go appetizer, when something is sent back.

Please send it back or send back the feedback with a server. Sure, it's going to make me nuts (and maybe frustrated) for longer than it reasonably should, but I also need to know that it went out wrong and what was wrong about it. It also gives me (and my team) a chance to fix it and make it better (or right) and hopefully gives you a better impression of how much we care and how hard we are working. If you don't send it back and just leave, never to return, I've lost a potential repeat customer. I promise, even if it makes me nuts, I want to get it right and I want you to have a great experience, and I will work double hard to respect the chance to correct the mistake.

I had a salad tonight that went out overdressed, and it came back. This was valuable feedback as it gave me a chance to retrain my salad guy and improve the overall quality of our salads. It also taught me to keep a closer eye on what's coming off the salad station. Did I grouse about that salad until about 10 minutes ago? Yes. Will that salad cost me a few extra minutes of sleep tonight? Yes. Will a salad go out overdressed tomorrow? No.

Please, send it back. Any restaurant worth your dollar will value that feedback.

This was valuable feedback as it gave me a chance to retrain my salad guy and improve the overall quality of our salads. It also taught me to keep a closer eye on what's coming off the salad station. Did I grouse about that salad until about 10 minutes ago? Yes. Will that salad cost me a few extra minutes of sleep tonight? Yes. Will a salad go out overdressed tomorrow? No.

If you've got a good worker on the salad station, the same should be true for them. Cooks that want to move down the line know it's hard for their chef to trust them to cook sea bass if they can't get greens right.