Mandatory tip meets poor service: What to do?

[Robin Garr]

So, here's a quirk on the tipping issue. The other night, a group of us went to <redacted>, which has the typical policy of adding a tip (20% in this case, on the high side) ... and the service turned out to be just sketchy enough - clueless, slow, forgot to take some orders, etc. - that I might have considered tipping less than 20 percent. But that wasn't an option with the fixed tip.

Other than making a scene, which I'm loath to do, what would you have done?

I do the same thing I do every time I dine out. I thank god I don't have to wait tables anymore. I loved bar tending but the timing needed to wait tables simply escaped me and I was constantly embarrassing myself. So now when I get less than stellar service I still thank my lucky stars that I don't have to do that job. That no one has to put up with MY cra** y server skills. If I thought they were seriously trying to take advantage of me I guess maybe I simply wouldn't return. But honestly, I think poor service is more often due to a collection of unfortunate events. And if not, that server will no doubt move along to their next gig, whatever it is.
But then, that's just me.

Unfortunately, that's happened to us, tho not very often . . .

I think twice we ate at places where we got similarly vapid service but a tip had been added. In both cases I called the manager, told her what I wanted to tip, and had no problems at all. I figured that this is a part of the manager's job - to manage the wait staff - so I had no problems in describing the service. (NOTE: I also always ask for the manager when we have service that's exceptional, and praise the server)

One time when we got the receipt we found the desserts had been comped, and the manager apologized for the service, and the other time we just got the receipt back with the requested tip amount.

Now, neither time was when we were a part of a large party (i.e.: "tip added for parties of six or more"), and I'm not sure what I would have done had that been the case.

I figured that this is a part of the manager's job - to manage the wait staff - so I had no problems in describing the service. (NOTE: I also always ask for the manager when we have service that's exceptional, and praise the server)

That's exactly how we've handled it in the past and the same as you the manager has been very agreeable to the reduced amount. They certainly realize what servers give good service and which ones don't.

This happened to me years ago with Mother's Day brunch. (I think the thread is on here somewhere...) Anyway, we were forced to tip 20% on a buffet and the server was nowhere to be found. We sat with empty drink glasses and stacks of used plates on our table. I saw our server chatting/flirting at the server station the whole time. Her ONLY jobs were to keep the iced tea glasses full and clear the plates and she didn't do either. For bringing us drinks once, she made $60. (Brunch was $35/head and there were 8 of us who got drinks too.) That didn't sit well with me.

I wrote the manager a letter and described the experience. I didn't ask for compensation, just gave him the server's name and told him what happened. He responded much later with a sincere apology in writing. He described the steps he took to re-train the server and included some comps for lunch. For me, that was enough.

People may ask why I didn't talk to management on the spot. It was the middle of a busy Mother's Day brunch and I had a fussy 8 month old on the verge of a meltdown. Not a good time.

Just an aside. That might have been the first time I felt pre-judged as a diner, too. You know, when the server sees you and says to him/herself, 'She's not going to tip so I'm not going to bother to bring my A-game." I say this because my husband was kind enough to buy me a corsage for my first Mother's Day. Sure, no one under 65 wears corsages on Mother's day but whatever. I overheard the server refer to our table as the "Wal-Mart folks on their big day out." I omitted that part from the letter to the manager but never forgot how her nasty comment ruined my afternoon.

What everyone else said. Ask for the manager. I had to do this a few years back with a party of 8 when the waiter went outside to do drugs (crack, according to one of his coworkers) and forgot we were in the restaurant. I almost never make a scene in a restaurant either, but there wasn't a chance in hell that kid was getting a penny from me.

I'd say mandatory gratuity is for the birds, but I've seen enough large tables leave a dollar for great service that I understand why it exists, though.

Rpbin, a coule of questions, if I may?

... which has the typical policy of adding a tip (20% in this case, on the high side)

prior to the service, were you made aware - either by the server or by info on the menu - that a mandatory gratuity would be added? And if you were notified, were you notified of the amount?

... a group of us went to <redacted>,

why "<redacted>"? While it may benefit all of us to have a broad discussion on the merits (or lack thereof) of mandatory tipping for less-than-stellar service, wouldn't it be or more value to go ahead and let all know where the event took place?

[Robin Garr]

Robin, a coule of questions, if I may?
... prior to the service, were you made aware - either by the server or by info on the menu - that a mandatory gratuity would be added? And if you were notified, were you notified of the amount?

Absolutely. It was not a secret.

... why "<redacted>"? While it may benefit all of us to have a broad discussion on the merits (or lack thereof) of mandatory tipping for less-than-stellar service, wouldn't it be or more value to go ahead and let all know where the event took place?

Judgement call. I wasn't reviewing, and the fault was with the server, really. Not malicious. Probably new. Just clueless, forgetful and slow. I thought it was more important to raise the general issue than pick on the kid or his employer.

Robin, a coule of questions, if I may?
... prior to the service, were you made aware - either by the server or by info on the menu - that a mandatory gratuity would be added? And if you were notified, were you notified of the amount?

Absolutely. It was not a secret.

thanks for that info. I wanted to find out before offering that my wife and I have recently been to an "event" dinner at a well-known (and respected) local estab., where we received very poor service and then - *without* prior notification - got a bill with a 20% gratuity already included. The promotion for the "event" had stated "$65/person + tax & gratuity".
We *should* have callled the manager/owner over, but honestly we were so frustrated/dissapointed at that point that we just wanted out of there!

So, though our situation was bit different from yours, the two have have one thing in common, I think....whenever a venue mandates that you will pay a fixed-rate gratuity, they had better guarantee that you will receive quality food, drink and service befitting that gratuity. Otherwise, they have - intentionally or not - taken advantage of you and are not deserving of your custom, in the future.
OMO (one man's opinion....)

Happened to me years ago at Fig Tree in Lexington. The room was slow and the server was talking with another server most of the evening while we were virtually ignored (water, dirty plates, long wait for food served cold). When the server presented the bill with 18% added, I asked to speak to the manager. I requested that he remove the tip and told him why. It was done with no problem. There were three of us and we were young and not particularly well-dressed, but we all worked in restaurants and probably would have added to the included tip if the service had been acceptable.

Hasn't happened since, but I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

I wanted to find out before offering that my wife and I have recently been to an "event" dinner at a well-known (and respected) local estab., where we received very poor service and then - *without* prior notification - got a bill with a 20% gratuity already included. The promotion for the "event" had stated "$65/person + tax & gratuity".

I've seen many special events advertised like this and the ones we've been to the gratuity was always at your discretion not mandatory unless you were part of a large party. I would certainly find a mandatory tip like you experience in this case very abnormal. If it was going to be a mandatory tip it should of been advertised as such.