It Turned South, Quick...

I don't understand. How will the restaurant you are speaking about a) know it is them, and b) know which waiter you are talking about? Is it because the owner of the restaurant knows you and knows you were in that night? You seem fairly confident that the waiter in question will be fired. Is this because he is easily identiable. Bigotry is nasty in any shap or form, but I would have thought it would have been a lot more satisfactory to complain to the owner or manager at the time.

Thanks for the questions, Alison- I'll elaborate some...

a) Like Gary said, we're a very tight-knit community. I have one of the biggest mouths, so to speak. The Chef's work here- impeccable (one of our best, I think.) I've followed the Bar Manager's work for years- he's that good. The FOH Manager is one of the sweetest and hard-working people I know. This place is firing on all cylinders- indeed becoming an institution, quickly. Many of this staff have worked alongside of me- so yeah, they know me quite well.

b) These are smart restaurateurs- not that I looked, but I'm assuming they have installed cameras in their establishment. The first place one does this is the bar. That's where we were sitting. I never said the individual in question was a server, just that they were at the computer. They did not have a uniform on designating their AOE. Still- 'go back to the tape.'

c) I wasn't calling for the person to get fired, but I do know that these kinds of behaviors tend to be habitual and that that person will sooner or later wear out their welcome. This kind of stuff is an affront to everything we all work for. Truthfully, I am a pussycat compared to some of the big-dogs in our business.

d) 'Telling the owner or manager'- A really bad idea. Situations like this get me chewing steel, as you can tell- I begin saying things that I later regret. There's no fixing this at the meal- you can comp the whole thing and I'll still be upset. Rightfully so. What happens when a black family comes in? Or a single camping lady? Or the difficult child? Or an ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend? Answer- you treat them like family, because that's what we do.

What he did was undermine the hard work of that exceptional Chef, that Bar Manager, that FOH Manager. Indeed, every person who works their hind-end off in that restaurant. I was presenting my friend with his 'New Favorite Restaurant.' He dines out about six nights a week and at his station in life, money really isn't an issue- so do the math.

That clarifies a lot Stephen, thankyou. I, too would be mad if someone I was with was discriminatd against.

...

No- my action was very smart, almost surgical. I'm not trying to get everybody in a roar over this. You can criticize all you want about the way I handled this affair, but I am right (and I just tip-toed on the end of a string to make it so.) Every Restaurateur in the city is giving me a high-five right now.

At the end of the day- 'you will fall in love with each of your guests. You will treat them like family.' Do we have a problem? Come talk to me...

To do something in a surgical manner means to do it precisely. What you have done is posted in a web forum that you went to a restaurant that you won't name, had a server that you won't identify, and that this server did or said something that you won't discuss. I would argue that this is far from surgical. Rather, I would say that this is bordering on passive-aggressive. If you wanted to handle this in a smart, surgical manner, I believe the proper action would have been to speak directly to the manager, and to tell him/her what happened and what you believe should be done about it.

Pretty much.

I cannot do that, with all due respect.

His behavior in no way represented the restaurant. They should not be harmed. Like I said they're brilliant- the whole experience was almost flawless- indeed exceptional.

It should be said that when I come into an establishment, I am an 'anti-critic.' I am looking to sing one's praises. If I have a less-than-desirable experience, I'll chalk it up to 'whatever' and just not write about it.

That got my hackles, though- they knew it. I promise you, if I get that serious about something- it's something worth getting serious about.

I think you have handled it very well. I would be curious to know the place, but understand your reluctance to identify it.Hope the employee gets what he deserves (gone).

...

No- my action was very smart, almost surgical. I'm not trying to get everybody in a roar over this. You can criticize all you want about the way I handled this affair, but I am right (and I just tip-toed on the end of a string to make it so.) Every Restaurateur in the city is giving me a high-five right now.

At the end of the day- 'you will fall in love with each of your guests. You will treat them like family.' Do we have a problem? Come talk to me...

To do something in a surgical manner means to do it precisely. What you have done is posted in a web forum that you went to a restaurant that you won't name, had a server that you won't identify, and that this server did or said something that you won't discuss. I would argue that this is far from surgical. Rather, I would say that this is bordering on passive-aggressive. If you wanted to handle this in a smart, surgical manner, I believe the proper action would have been to speak directly to the manager, and to tell him/her what happened and what you believe should be done about it.

Pretty much.

These posts leave me wondering- do you have a problem with the gay community? It certainly sounds like it.

To do something in a surgical manner means to do it precisely. What you have done is posted in a web forum that you went to a restaurant that you won't name, had a server that you won't identify, and that this server did or said something that you won't discuss. I would argue that this is far from surgical. Rather, I would say that this is bordering on passive-aggressive. If you wanted to handle this in a smart, surgical manner, I believe the proper action would have been to speak directly to the manager, and to tell him/her what happened and what you believe should be done about it.

Pretty much.

These posts leave me wondering- do you have a problem with the gay community? It certainly sounds like it.

No just your post in this thread. But nice attempt to try and attack my character and paint me as a bigot as a deflection from your post. Just FYI that's a logical fallacy called an Ad Hominem (Personal Attack).
Nothing I have posted has anything to do with your sexual orientation or anyone else's.

But you worked at it with such vigor.

This thread about treating everyone equally.

OK- let me wind up on this one...

This thread is very confusing to me.....the only point of it, that I can gather, is support.....from a group of posters that already do so. If that was your goal....well done. If not, well...I venture you missed your target. There isn't nearly enough information for any rational person (most of which likely reside here) to garner an opinion of merit. Much ado about nothing. I feel for your friend, if he or you feel he was mistreated. However, if you don't call people to the carpet on such occasions, their behavior won't/can't change. You both missed a tremendous opportunity. To use this forum, won't help elicit change.

Maybe on this one you just trust me...

We just let this thread die.

^ Sounds like just what needs to happen.

#livetofightanotherday

These posts leave me wondering- do you have a problem with the gay community? It certainly sounds like it.

How in the hell did you get that conclusion from what he wrote? Not once did he mention sexual orientation but rather criticized the way you handled the situation. You might want to climb down from that high horse, the fall can be painful.

These posts leave me wondering- do you have a problem with the gay community? It certainly sounds like it.

How in the hell did you get that conclusion from what he wrote? Not once did he mention sexual orientation but rather criticized the way you handled the situation. You might want to climb down from that high horse, the fall can be painful.

Glad Im not the only one who saw that.

Im sure since Rob essentially saw the same problems with this thread/his original post as I did Im sure he will accuse Rob of being a bigot next.

What you should have realized is that there was no reason for you or Rob or anyone else to weigh in at all on this post.

Stephen accomplished what he needed to with the post. If you had any sensitivity for this issue you would have refrained from making your callous remarks.

Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it didn't have the desired effect.

What you should have realized is that there was no reason for you or Rob or anyone else to weigh in at all on this post.

Stephen accomplished what he needed to with the post. If you had any sensitivity for this issue you would have refrained from making your callous remarks.

Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it didn't have the desired effect.

I'm wondering what the desired effect was supposed to be. With no name or place mentioned, and apparently no reason for anyone to weigh in, it appears to be a personal message that has no place on a public message board. It's not so much insensitivity towards the issue at hand but rather the route taken in handling it.

What you should have realized is that there was no reason for you or Rob or anyone else to weigh in at all on this post.

Stephen accomplished what he needed to with the post. If you had any sensitivity for this issue you would have refrained from making your callous remarks.

Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it didn't have the desired effect.

I'm wondering what the desired effect was supposed to be. With no name or place mentioned, and apparently no reason for anyone to weigh in, it appears to be a personal message that has no place on a public message board. It's not so much insensitivity towards the issue at hand but rather the route taken in handling it.

Again Gary took the words right out of my mouth.
If he didnt want public comment on his post he shouldnt have posted it on a public message forum. This is just as silly as telling people "dont comment on my Facebook postings!"
Well if you dont want public comment dont say things in the modern equivalent of the town square while standing on a soap box.

Which leads to the whole reason I posted in the first place. If you were sooo concerned about a bigoted employee at a local eatery but didnt want to besmirch the entire restaurant's reputation then you should have had a private one on one conversation with the management or business owner. Not posted it on a forum and then claimed you were so well known that the owner's would immediately know you meant their specific business, take notice and rectify the situation. That's just silly.