Dinner, and a movie?

Last night, my wife and I decided to ditch the leftovers and try to re-establish our sanity after the Thanksgiving festivities. Alas, it was not to be. Stepping into Lemongrass Cafe in the Highlands, we noticed some kind of music playing that seemed out of place, but we were far too happy to be in from the cold to think much of it at first. It wasn't until we were seated that we realized that the music was coming from a portable DVD player at one of the other tables. Yep, two couples and their kids were seated at one of the large, round tables in the restaurant, and the kids had one of The Land Before Time movies blaring as the adults talked! At my wife's urging, I held my tongue and said nothing - despite the next 30 minutes of obnoxious movie and music. It was bad enough that the adults used the device as a babysitter AT THE RESTAURANT, paying little attention to their kids (I couldn't help but notice, as I was seated at the table next to them - and the restaurant is small anyway). But, the saddest part had to be when one of the kids tried to get his father's attention when an animated character was singing a song about his own father, only to be repeatedly ignored and shushed. When the group was finally leaving, and the kids were being wrapped for the arctic chill by their mothers, the two fathers stood behind WATCHING THE MOVIE for a few minutes and commenting on the marvelous device they had (the DVD player, that is). So, I have to ask, is this acceptable behavior in a restaurant? Especially in a small enclosed area like the one in question? Please let me know what you think.

Uh, no, that's not acceptable. Poor parenting and poorer manners in a public place.

[Robin Garr]

Please let me know what you think.

Just to keep it simple, I think most of us here would agree on one broad, simple rule that covers all these things: When you're dining out in a public place, you don't want to conduct yourself in a way that interferes with your neighbors' enjoyment. No smoking, no loud cellphone conversations, no stinky perfume or cologne that travels beyond your immediate circle, no loud or tearful arguments, no loud crude language ... well, you get the idea.

I think a DVD movie at the table would fall into that category if it's loud enough to be distracting to other parties.

If it's being used as a baby-sitter in an informal establishment AND isn't loud, that's a stickier wicket. I might not be impressed with the family's ability to teach its children to behave in more traditional ways, but if it's quiet and if the alternative is to have the kids running through the restaurant screaming, then maybe ... but it's a tight judgment call and not my idea of the best way to do things.

Christopher,

You were very tolerant, but as the mother of two (one toddler), I'm appalled that anyone would do this, regardless of how much noise it makes. If kids can't behave nicely in a restaurant, they should have stayed home with a babysitter or maybe their parents could teach them how to behave (of course someone would have teach the parents how to behave...). If it was too loud, I'd have politely pointed that out, and asked them to turn it down.

If our toddler gets too loud in a restaurant, he is corrected and if he won't quiet down, we take him out for a moment. (it very rarely gets to this). He is never allowed down from the table to roam. Same at the movie theater or other public places. If we don't teach or kids these things, what kind if rude adults are they going to grow into?

I find it appalling that the management of any restaurant would allow this to occur! Either the management is deaf, they don't care about their customers or these customers are regulars are the only three conceivable reasons this could occur. All them are totally unacceptable and should cause a restaurant too soon be added to our list of closed establishments. Given the fact that even several very good establishments have been unable to survive one that is is blatant in ignoring the comfort of their customers will certainly soon be closed

On the other hand I certainly applaud you for not speaking out or leaving the restaurant, I'm sure I would've done one or possibly both of these if the same situation had arisen when I was in a restaurant.

A few years back. my husband and two children met another couple with a young child for lunch at Lynn's Paradise Cafe. We chose this restaurant because it is kid friendly and noisy. The other couple actually brought a DVD player and put on a movie for their son to watch (all the children were under 4 years old). I was so embarassed! I would not let my boys watch the movie and instead engaged them with the little toys Lynn's has around and with conversation and food. Anyway, we never shared another meal with this family.

This is beyond unacceptable!
The restaurant should have asked the parents to turn the movie off or leave. I would still consider it unacceptable if they had headphones, but it would make it toleralable for neighboring guests. The restaurant should have taken control.

Awful.

Bad parenting.

Complete lack of consideration.

If you need a babysitter for the kids, hire one and keep them home.

60 Minutes did a piece recently about the current crop of kids transitioning into adulthood. Apparently, these kids have been so coddled and allowed to do anything that they want that prospective employers are having a hard time figuring them out.

Allowing children to watch a portable DVD player in a restaurant is a prime example of such over-indulgent parenting. How rude.

Unbelievable! But I am not surprised. I work with teenagers and have had to teach them what fork to use at an awards dinner because their parents and grandparents never taught them table manners. I teach a lot of classes for younger folk and I am amazed at how they get upset when I ask them to turn off their cell phones. I have had younger partners on the ambulance that want to text on runs. When I do career days, teenagers act like they are supposed to make $75,000 a year, just cause they want to and do not seem to understand the amount of work that goes into a career path.

Makes you wonder how they are going to raise their kids!

If the kids had worn headphones, it's likely that no one else would have noticed the dvd player.

That being said, it's horrible parenting. If the adults were going to park the kids in front of the tv, they should have gotten takeout.

I'm fairly anti-tv, however. We just got back a few hours ago - we were on the road for nearly 12 hours today. With a 2-year-old. We were able to make the drive there last Wed and back today using such novel devices as crayons, felt boards, books, and *gasp* story telling and singing.

We were offered several loaner dvd players. No thanks.

Maybe somebody should send a copy of this thread to Lemongrass so they can post it and if these people are regulars they'll see how rude every one thinks they are!

Seriously, I hope that maybe some parents out there will read this thread and realize that this type of behavior is unacceptable the general public. Possibly (although I doubt it) they don't realize how totally rude doing this is.

I am appalled. It's not just coddling the kids, it's totally ignoring the kids. Then the kids learn to act out to get attention leading to more sad endings. These parents allow TV or movies to baby sit their kids then bitch about the contents of same materials. They can't be bothered with monitoring what their kids read or watch, they're just too busy. They expect everyone else to make the world a 'kid safe' place so they never really have to do any parenting. Then when their kid gets into trouble or god forbid, something worse, these parents stand around with dumbfounded looks on their faces asking, "How were we to know? He seemed fine." Right, how would you know if you never paid attention to them?
Having had my little rant now I will add that yes, there are many parents that struggle with raising their kids, do their best at parenting and things seem to still be a constant struggle to raise a good kid. My heart goes out to those parents. But I doubt these, in the restaurant, were that sort.