Deb Hall wrote:
Calm down, friend- it wasn't an attack on anyone in any way. ( and I know yours wasn't either)
Deb, I'm completely calm and no this was no attack. I speak frankly to nearly everyone I respect and I was genuinely interested in the answer to my question. It becomes nearly overwhelming for me sometimes to contemplate the need of others. In self defense I have to often have to turn away. Your donation made you feel better and little else I'm afraid. That doesn't mean I think it was for nought, far from it.
I have an almost compulsive need to help others and it is a constant struggle for me. It has cost me more than than I can say. This is not any admiral trait however, it's just a weird side effect leftover from whatever influenced me during my childhood I'm afraid. I struggle with it so I wonder about how other's deal with it.
I have very little respect for those of you who speak in code and I'll make no effort to suss it out. I grew up in a christian community and learned to fear God. The best and most free day of my life was when I finally realized I didn't believe. I could do good just because I wanted to and my reward was simply the satisfaction I felt. I didn't need to second guess myself and wonder if I'd done enough to get into Heaven. I feel sad for those who live life in fear. Fear of not doing enough.
I feel sad that anyone would think that any God would have a purpose in a school shooting or a civil war or slavery. I don't live my life in fear. I believe that in the end I'll know no more and so I should try to make every day count. I admit that I'm glad that most do believe in such penalties for doing bad because otherwise the world would be an even scarier place. How much scarier could it get?
People now strap bombs to themselves and kill little girls for going to school and stone women to death for not living up to the tenants of their God all in the name of their God. I'm sure they are just as adamant in their faith as anyone else. Are these people evil for doing as their faith demands?
How miserable must your life be to want to die just for something better. I've been deployed to areas where our own allies had to use force to keep their own people in check. Of course our own interest was just to make sure that we could continue to enjoy our way of life. So, whatever it takes to get you through the day is fine with me.