Do we tip "kindly"? Should we?

[Robin Garr]

This article in Richmond.com is interesting to me ...

What Makes a Good Tip?

Ask a group of restaurant customers about how generously they should tip servers when dining out, and you’ll get an array of answers. But ask a barista, a bartender, a waiter or a waitress the same question, and you’ll probably hear about how much those tips contribute to their income.

That’s because some patrons view tipping as an act of kindness, but many food service workers look at it as a lifeline.

http://www2.richmond.com/entertainment/ ... r-1315405/

And it's getting a lot of comments in multiple shares on Facebook, including mine:
http://www.facebook.com/robin.garr/post ... 1554548001

Let's talk about it here. Read the top link, and let us know what you think!

I always tip 20%... more if the experience has been a really good one or if I just really like the server. Sometimes I strike up a conversation about the restaurant's music choices and find out the waiter is in a band. Then he or she gets more.

My top 5 list of people I hate includes those who treat servers like crap. That ruins a restaurant experience completely for me. And yes, I have had many, many more experiences ruined by that kind of thing than by 'bad servers.'

I've said this previously on this board, but there's a sure difference between tipping a server and tipping say a barista, if the server is making the state-allowed food-service minimum (2 whatever it is these days).

The law allows for paying servers less money on the assumption that tips will make up the difference. The law is written on the expectation of tips. The same can't be said about tip jars, which, in most cases, are used in establishments where workers make the minimum wage or more.

Everyone wants their slice of the pie. That's just the way it works. But, I think the columnist writer doesn't go far enough to differentiate between how tips, as capital, work for servers and how they work for everyone else. My tip to someone making an above minimum wage rate may or may not come from kindness. But my tip to a server shouldn't come from kindness. It should come from a felt sense of obligation - knowing that if the server was making a real hourly wage, my food would surely cost more.

if the server was making a real hourly wage, my food would surely cost more.

GREAT point. Never thought about it that way before.

I very rarely tip below 15 percent, and usually tip about 20. I'm well aware that servers depend on tips (and tips are also very helpful for people like massage therapists, as my girlfriend would like everyone to know), so I try to take that into account. I also try to be a good customer, keeping my table clean and making sure all my dishes are together and in an easy-to-remove pile, but if I don't get good service, I have and will definitely skimp on the tip.

I have very rarely not left a tip, but if I leave $1, that should be a message to the waiter or waitress that there was some significant screw-ups. There are wait staff I will avoid in the future at restaurants I really like due to some professionalism and competence issues, and there was an incident on Saturday that leads me to believe I'll have to find a new breakfast spot in the future.

For wait staff that provides excellent service, 25 to 30%. Good service, 20%. Just enough to get by, mediocre or lower service, exactly 15%. Bad service with bad attitude, zilch and a comment to the manager.

I won't expand on "minimum gratuity" for large parties as I have made my disapproval for such a practice known in other threads ad nauseum.

As for Baristas; Since I generally order filter coffee, the tip is 0. For what I usually order, their job is no different than a fast food worker. If I do order some coffee drink with fairly involved preparation, then I leave a buck and loose change. I do recognize that baristas can go above and beyond and even add an artistic touch to my drink.

In general, I find tip jars for counter service questionable. Like the article said, there are establishment owners that set up a tip jar to make up for (in many cases, I suspect, surreptitiously so) what they can't or won't pay their workers.

It seems to be that the social norm is to tip bartenders $1 per drink for a one-time order.....even if it's a $1 or $2 beer. 50 to 100% is too rich for my blood, so I try to run a tab so it will be easier and cheaper to tip 15 or 20% at the end of the night.

Just my 2 cents....I mean 15%!

For wait staff that provides excellent service, 25 to 30%. Good service, 20%. Just enough to get by, mediocre or lower service, exactly 15%.

Yeah, this is what I do, rarely over 25% though as we'd likely just stop eating out very much if it got to that level as a general custom in the U.S. An exception is if I have a really inexpensive lunch, usually cheaper from lack of beer. If the tab is $8 - $10 I'll often leave $4 or $5, can't recall the last time I left a tip less than $4 on a really cheap lunch.

For wait staff that provides excellent service, 25 to 30%. Good service, 20%. Just enough to get by, mediocre or lower service, exactly 15%.

Yeah, this is what I do, rarely over 25% though as we'd likely just stop eating out very much if it got to that level as a general custom in the U.S. An exception is if I have a really inexpensive lunch, usually cheaper from lack of beer. If the tab is $8 - $10 I'll often leave $4 or $5, can't recall the last time I left a tip less than $4 on a really cheap lunch.

Good point. I do the same, even if it's not a meal. i.e., In my younger bar hopping days, I would often go to Denny's after the bars closed. There I'd linger and drink coffee. For taking a table, I would often leave $5 or $6 when the coffee was less than $2.

As for tipping exactly 15%, that is only when the service is mediocre....especially if it is slow. The logic being, if they do just enough to get by, I only pay enough to get by, per the minimum tipping custom in the US for waiting tables.

Well, this ups the ante:

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/quee ... obinsource

[Robin Garr]

Well, this ups the ante:

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/quee ... obinsource

That looks pretty prima facie to me. I expect the diners will take home a nice settlement and a grudging, lying apology from the management.

15% for awful service, 20% for regular service and 25-35% for outstanding service. Add a couple drinks to that mix and who knows how much I end up tipping, sometimes in excess of 50%. I do though, realize that servers and bartenders rely on these tips to supplement their essentially zero dollar paychecks.

15% for awful service, 20% for regular service and 25-35% for outstanding service....

Other than the 15% for awful service this is pretty much in line with what we do. If you give that large of a tip for awful service, is that low enough to give them a hint that you didn't appreciate it!

15% for awful service, 20% for regular service and 25-35% for outstanding service....

Other than the 15% for awful service this is pretty much in line with what we do. If you give that large of a tip for awful service, is that low enough to give them a hint that you didn't appreciate it!

ditto that!

15% for awful service, 20% for regular service and 25-35% for outstanding service. Add a couple drinks to that mix and who knows how much I end up tipping, sometimes in excess of 50%. I do though, realize that servers and bartenders rely on these tips to supplement their essentially zero dollar paychecks.

+2

15% for awful service, 20% for regular service and 25-35% for outstanding service....

Other than the 15% for awful service this is pretty much in line with what we do. If you give that large of a tip for awful service, is that low enough to give them a hint that you didn't appreciate it!

Guess it depends on the level of awfulness. For me to tip less than 15%, it needs to be a "talk to the manager" situation.

I kindly assume waiters and waitresses are self-reflective to the extent they know when they provide poor service. I don't think they need to see my low tip to become aware that I might not have appreciated their service. Granted, some won't care and some don't have that awareness, but I think they will get weeded out through factors not related to my tip.

There's also the matter of me believing a tip can really turn the tide for a server. I guess this comes from my own experience. If I knew I was "off" with a table but they left me a reasonable tip (15%) nonetheless, that really helped buoyed my spirits and probably had the end result of me being more on my game going forward. I guess I think about it as a pay-it-forward approach.

I also give the flat 20% tip if I can just tell (or, I guess, assume) someone's having a rough day. Doesn't matter if they deserve it. Same goes for new servers. Nothing wrong with operating out of a kindness principle.