Louisville, a culinary drive-by

Spent two weeks in the 502 on my annual trek back home and here's my short review. Please note I didn't set out on a gastro-tour. Mostly we're out shopping for cool American kids clothes and hence ended up at convenience eateries.


Le Relais Rating: The Bomb

First time there, very impressed. Loved the locale, decor, ambiance. While the food didn't "blow me away" it was very, very good. Started with scallops topped with smoked salmon which worked better than I expected. Entrée was a beef filet done up in a buttery sauce. It was fine. Winecard was ample and reasonably priced.

The service was perfect. I hate overly attentive or fawning waiters and since I was with a pretty girl, I wanted subdued service. This guy was positively Jeeves-like. Two slight negatives: the chocolate mousse was much sweeter than what I'm used to getting in France (Americanized?). I also ordered a cognac without consulting the card and what was brought seemed not particularly topshelf. And trust me, my liver knows good cognac.

Two apps, two entrees, lots of wine, a couple of bellinis, desserts, and cognac. Just shy of $200 w tip. Would go back any time.


California Pizza Kitchen Rating: Expensive

Quick lunch meet-up. Had a salad with chicken strips and eggplant with a vinaigrette. Although it was delicious and sizable, I have to say 17 bucks for a salad in the mall seems steep. Is there cocaine in the dressing or something? I get a salad down the street from work every bit as good as that one for six euros. A big salad, a half salad, and two ice teas ran 35 bucks w tip. Not much value. Wouldn't go back.


Hardees Rating: Wretched.

Shopping trip ending in fast food. If the Soviet Union had concentrated on building burger joints instead of steel factories, this would be the result.


Bristol Bar and Grille Rating: Surprisingly good

Late night Bardstown Rd after many gin and tonics. Stopped in at one in the morning when everything else was closed. We were worried that the kitchen would be broken down. Had some of those wonton thingies which went down really well after the booze. The barman served us and was quite good. I narrowed things down to three wines from the list and asked his opinion. Got a quick and obviously informed response and the wine was indeed luverly. Then had a sort of chicken fajita dish which was very well turned out, especially given the late hour. Spent $25 and was just impressed with well-prepared food at 01:30 a.m. on a weekday night when no one else seemed open.. Would go back.


St Paul's Monthly Fish Fry in Jeffersonville Rating: Gutbuster

OK, I'm rating everything. Once a month fish fry. $8.50 gets all you can eat fried cod, fries, mac&cheese, cole slaw, ice tea, coffee, and cakes. A ton of food for not much money. You also get to see every single politician in Southern Indiana in one place. Have to go back at least once a year.


Wendy's New Albany Rating: Dreck

Another shopping trip ending in fast food. The food tastes exactly like it did in 1983. Unfortunately this place hadn't been renovated since 1983 either. The staff were unbelievably unprofessional. You can't expect much from burger-flippers but these guys were acting boisterously, singing out loud, playing grab-ass, and generally not acting like there were paying customers present. Would never go back.


The Cheesecake Factory Rating: time consuming

The décor annoyed me to no end. It's like faux—something….but faux what? Latin American? Mediterranean? North African? I secretly admired some of the lamps though. Next gripe: they brought out two sorts of bread and one was a promising looking rye loaf, deep dark color with oats on the outside. My kids, missing their German brot-kultur, dove for it. It was soft like wonderbread and sickly sweet. It was like faux whole grain bread. Nasty! Can't anyone make real bread with substance to it?

Anyhoo, I had some Mahi-Mahi with steamed spinach and garlic-potato mash. For 20 bucks it wasn't bad…wasn't real good but wasn't bad. Better than a $17 salad. Four kids and two adults ate for $70 and change w tip which I thought was alright. It wasn't worth two hours of my time though. Took waaay too long to get in and out despite eleventy-million employees with computers on their belts. Probably wouldn't go back.



Hooters in Jeff Rating: Sexy, but aggravating

Had half an hour to burn so stopped in for a beer. Well the girls were quite attractive. My server sat down to chat me up, stripper-like, after bringing my brew. Haven't been in Hooters for 15 years so I guess this is the new tactic. Aggravation: my beer cost $3.60. I give her a fiver and she brings me a dollar back and keeps the 40 cents. Call me anal, but I'm an investment banker. We calculate things to the hundredth of a percent. No matter what I'm buying, I automatically calculate the change in my head…I'm just a stickler for details when it comes to money. Of course I gave her the extra dollar anyway…she was smoking hot. But still… Would I go back? Would I ever!



Bourbon Bros BBQ Rating: need a second look

OK, it's a BBQ joint but couldn't they dispose of the Persian deco? Showed up at 2:30 in the afternoon, well after lunch rush. OK so BBQ is tricky stuff and timing is important. Pulled pork sammich was cold really. New potato salad which sounded great on paper was in desperate need of seasoning. Gut instinct tells me I should come back at a proper hour and give them a second shot. So I'm reserving judgement.



Proof on Main Rating: Cool

Ate a buffalo burger there last year which was fair. Just had drinks this time. I just think they deserve a nod for design effort. Places like Proof are a dime a dozen in London but some of the rest of Louisville's drab eateries need to follow their example in terms of design. There are consumers who appreciate that sort of thing. Next visit I'll have to properly delve into their menu.

That's it for this year. If Mom wasn't such a fine cook I'd have gotten out more. Sorry, I'm not much of a reviewer or critic.

Unfortunately you only hit really two local places with really high acclaim but it seems you just kind of got what was convenient and that's not all bad.

But I'd would have hit White Castle for fast food instead of the other burger joints. Oh, next time, eat about six White Castles about two hours before you get on the plane.

I like your rating system.

A very enjoyable read! You made me laugh! I, too, think your rating system is great!

Actually, I think you are an excellent reviewer.

I have been to almost every place you mentioned and completely agree with your thinking.

I also agree with the suggestion that you try White Castle next time. Rather unique place. However, don't try them a few hours before the plane.
Might cause certain problems for folks next to the restroom.

I like your rating system.

me too.

the Hooter's reviews air of candor was nice.

Loved your reviews, and can't believe you were brave enough to try Hardee's!

Unfortunately you only hit really two local places with really high acclaim but it seems you just kind of got what was convenient and that's not all bad.

But I'd would have hit White Castle for fast food instead of the other burger joints. Oh, next time, eat about six White Castles about two hours before you get on the plane.

LMAO........I am just trying to picture the affects of 6 White Castles @ 30,000 feet. It could be catastrophic, leaving the entire cabin wreaking of onion and 100% beef goodness.

Cheesecake Factory, at least at 'the mall at Shelbyville Road', is faux Vegas. Its decor is reminiscient of the classiest coffee shops of the Las Vegas hotels; brass, high ceilings, open spaces yet sit next to strangers ambiance. Why would you subject yourself to that in Louisville?

Any time that I look at an eighteen dollar entree, I am hoping not to sit next to a single mom with an eight, five and two-year old at the next table.

What was the brand of beer at Hooter's?

What was the brand of beer at Hooter's?

We were in Dundee Tavern last night and were paid a visit by the Miller Chill girls. Ah yes, American beer marketing at its finest. This is what you're up against, Roger: three rather attractive young women dressed in Miller Chill green halter top frocks with ice-filled coolers around their necks. They were pouring tastes of this new lime and salt-flavored concoction.

How do you look in a halter top?

three rather attractive young women dressed in Miller Chill green halter top frocks

that's about what it would take to sell Miller Chill, at least it makes me want one about now...(don't tell the wife...)

Miller Chill, also known as Okolona Corona.

I promise I won't wear a halter top any time soon in an effort to sell beer.

Sticking to the laborious and less eye pleasing task of educating the beer drinking public about the intrinsic quality of good beer, as opposed to the ephemeral and fleeting desperation of Chill, seems like a better strategy to me.

I promise I won't wear a halter top any time soon in an effort to sell beer.

Sticking to the laborious and less eye pleasing task of educating the beer drinking public about the intrinsic quality of good beer, as opposed to the ephemeral and fleeting desperation of Chill, seems like a better strategy to me.

I'd pay good money to see you in a halter top Roger....maybe at the Octoberfest shindig? I am planning on wearing Lederhosen anyway so it will only spice it up more? On that note, I'll have a menu for you by Tuesday at the latest.