Going to a 'Darling"

My hypothetical.question of the day.
A member of the Hotbyte community opens a new place called Darlings and it has been generally well received by forumites, so you decide to take the rubberband off your wallet and head down there for a couple of drinks and a dinner.
My question is: on this first trip do you go introduce yourself before the meal/drinks or do you stay in stealth mode. Personally, I lean toward stealth mode as I want to draw as unbiased opinion of the place (not that I'm an influential critic or anything ), and the Darling staff might just show some preferential treatment that could color my opinion. On return visits to Darlings I would be sure to introduce myself.
Are you full stealth or a full disclosure Darling diner?
'Redwinger

[Robin Garr]

I always go stealth because I *am* a food writer.

But if I were a forumite, I'd introduce myself. Networking is one of the payoffs of the forum! Since you're not paid to be a critic, why not take advantage of being served by online friends who recognize you as part of the community? There's no moral or ethical issue here that I can see; simply taking advantage of a connection to your potential benefit.

I always go stealth because I *am* a food writer.

But if I were a forumite, I'd introduce myself. Networking is one of the payoffs of the forum! Since you're not paid to be a critic, why not take advantage of being served by online friends who recognize you as part of the community? There's no moral or ethical issue here that I can see; simply taking advantage of a connection to your potential benefit.

Nope, no moral or ethical issue. Oh, I definitely would intro myself on any return trip and take advantage of whatever "connection" that might take place.

I'm just not much of a networker so I'd probably just keep to myself. Plus, I'm one of those guests who'd rather not get checked on by management or receive "special" treatment, so I don't tend to speak up. Probably something I should change, as I'm surely missing out on meeting some interesting and successful people.

I seldom introduce myself as a forum member until after the meal. For me to to otherwise makes me feel like I'd be asking for extra attention. Rather, I'll go in and assume ALL of the restaurant's diners get great attention and give the restaurant a chance to prove themselves to me. That way, when I have a great experience, I can honestly and wholeheartedly share my positive experience with others.

When I worked in restaurants (a million years ago) we (the servers and bartenders) HATED when a diner came in and said, "We're friends of ...(the owner)" at the onset of the meal.

If it's your aim to produce a completely unbiased review like a critic, then no. Or if you aren't in the mood for a chat and desire a more private dining experience.

Personally, I leave that to the fellas who get paid to do such things.

The truth be told, most restaurants keep lagniappes around to enhance people's meals, time willing.

Trust me, every guest is a VIP and should be given some form of special treatment that distiguishes thier meal from the next.

When Marco (Havana Rumba) comes in, Majid or I love nothing more than to sit with him and his beautifull wife and chew the fat about the restaurant business. Or when Bill comes in, I always make sure I have something up my sleeve that's a variation on his penchant for all things tiki (midori macerated pineapple gel, lol!)

It's no different than any other guest- it's just that each person is unique. Now, if we never learn what it is that moves you, then it must be assumed that you simply like a more anonymous dining experience- it's own form of special treatment, if you get my drift.

Are you full stealth or a full disclosure Darling diner?
'Redwinger

Stealth mode....always stealth mode.

Or when Bill comes in, I always make sure I have something up my sleeve that's a variation on his penchant for all things tiki (midori macerated pineapple gel, lol!)

YUM......that was the bomb, Mr. D.

I tend to make myself known if I have been chatting with someone in particular at the establishment. If I don't and they catch wind that I've been there, I usually get called on it.

Are you full stealth or a full disclosure Darling diner?

Stealth the first time.

Stealth mode all the time, if I really enjoyed the food I send a tip back to the kitchen and make my exit before they receive it.
I don't ever go in and ask for anything special or to change anything on their menu, I want to see what they serve assuming I'm just another Joe Schmoe that probably doesn't know what pancetta or guanciale is other than it tastes like bacon.

Stealth mode unless I am specifically going in to meet the owner or other staff I have met via the forum.

[Robin Garr]

Let me restate my original advise and try to put it more clearly now that I've had coffee and am fully awake:

If your "darling" is one of the places where the owner or host or bartender is a regular, active member of the forum, then I think it would be silly to go in stealth mode.

If it's a popular forum establishment but the staff aren't regulars here, then maybe not. It might look like you were trying to say, "I'm on HotBytes and I will review my experience here."

So it kind of depends on whether you've already become online friends/acquaintances with the staff. If you have, then to me it seems silly not to say hi to them. If you haven't, then not so much.

So it kind of depends on whether you've already become online friends/acquaintances with the staff. If you have, then to me it seems silly not to say hi to them. If you haven't, then not so much.

I'll take this one for +1, Alex.

Let me restate my original advise and try to put it more clearly now that I've had coffee and am fully awake:

If your "darling" is one of the places where the owner or host or bartender is a regular, active member of the forum, then I think it would be silly to go in stealth mode.

If it's a popular forum establishment but the staff aren't regulars here, then maybe not. It might look like you were trying to say, "I'm on HotBytes and I will review my experience here."

So it kind of depends on whether you've already become online friends/acquaintances with the staff. If you have, then to me it seems silly not to say hi to them. If you haven't, then not so much.

Being reasonable will get you no where.

I tend to agree with Robin's thoughts on the subject. It's hard not to be "recognized" as an active forum member when we go out to eat in certain places.
Being in the "Bizz", I personally know a lot of restaurant people having either worked with them in the past, having met them at a charity event where several restaurants are represented, through the ACF or boozing it up at the old Barret Bar; which was kind of an afterwork chef hang before they closed.

Outside of that fact that most chefs like to come to your table, send out little "snacks" or sometimes even pick up part of the the tab as a professional courtesy (I know I always did) I certainly don't go out to eat expecting any special treatment.
.
After years of feeding so called VIPs and celebrities, I've always felt (in disagreement with most owners I've worked for) that every paying customer is special and no one deserves anything better or special than the absolute best you can give them.

However, now that I'm not working a line anymore; out of curiosity I like to go into kitchens where I know the chef and say "Hi" to the kitchen staff, thank them for my meal and check out their operation. It never ceases to amaze me the quality and quantity of food that is coming out of some really cramped quarters.