Protocol for when you don't like your dish?

My husband and I recently went to a restaurant that has been spoken of quite favorably in the forums, so I won't name names. He and I ordered an appetizer, which was good, though small, and then ordered our main dishes. I ordered crab cakes. When I tasted them, I found that they had an off putting taste. It was nothing like a spoiled taste, simply a spice or herb that I didn't care for and didn't expect to be in a crab cake (I order them all the time in restaurants). My husband tried them, and while he thought they were definitely "unusual" he didn't mind them. I decided not to eat them. Our waitress never came by to check on us during the meal, but when we (well, my husband) were done, she inquired about my mostly untouched plate. I lied and said I had filled up on the appetizer.

What should I have done? What is the proper protocol for when you simply don't care for the dish you ordered, but there is nothing actually wrong with the item (i.e. spoiled, under/overcooked, etc.)? Should you say something? I was debating on whether to say something like, "To be honest, I don't care for my entree. I'd like to order another entree. May I have ________?" but I was afraid they would comp my first entree and I didn't want the restaurant to lose money when it was my fault.

Needless to say, I left hungry and we went for "dinner part 2" elsewhere so I could eat.

With something like this happens you should immediately contact your server. If they aren't available ask someone to find them for you. Explain to them the fact that you just don't like the dish (be honest don't make up a story). Most restaurants are very understanding of an issue like this and will graciously replace the dish was something else of your choosing. They truly want you to have a good experience and be a happy customer!

My wife or I have done this several times at various restaurants and have always been graciously offered a replacement item.

Don't lie when the server asks -- be honest and say that you just didn't care for the dish. From there, let the restaurant do what it will. They do want you to come back and be a happy customer and to find something on the menu that you love, so you'll keep coming back.

I had this happen to me once at a chain restaurant that has a certain signature dish that was taken off of the menu briefly once. I was traveling through an area that had that restaurant (where I lived at the time did not), and we stopped there and I was very excited about having my favorite dish, only to find they didn't have it. The server recommended a similar dish, which I ended up not liking and didn't eat much of. She noticed, and asked if I didn't like it and I told her yes. I ended up with a free dessert and didn't have to pay for my entree either. They turned a negative experience into a positive one with two freebies...I would think any place focused on good customer service would do the same.

Agreed, from the back of the house, we want feedback on the stuff we make. If it is not to your liking, let us know, otherwise we will just keep doing what we are doing and assume all is well. Your suggestion or dislike could mean menu re-evaluation or options that had not been previously considered. It also gives us a second chance to make you happy and feed you. A good chef is humble enough to realize that not every dish is for everyone and some people are not going to fall in love with everything you make. I'd rather you send it back honestly and let me make you something else you will like, than have you leave hungry.

We want you to be happy. Just talk to your server and if necessary a manager. I would rather a guest leave satisfied than be polite and tell all their friends that it's not that great.

It also doesn't hurt to ask your server, before you order, how the dish you're interested in is prepared. Any server worth his/her salt will be happy to oblige and if, on the rare occasion they might not know the specific answer to the question you're asking, the server can go ask the kitchen and return quickly with an answer. Barring that, definitely say something to your server if, when you receive your food, the dish isn't to your liking. When servers check up on tables after entrees have been delivered, it isn't just to be polite. Also, diners really shouldn't wait until the meal is finished to say anything, though it happens all the time. There's nothing more frustrating for a server than finding out a patron wasn't happy with his/her meal as the server's delivering the bill, since that issue could, 99 times out of 100, easily be addressed quickly and competently by the server.

I'm curious what herb or spice could've been in Sara's crab cakes that was off-putting? Was it easily identifiable? Was it listed on the menu as an ingredient in the dish? Sounds like an unsuccessful variation on what should be a pretty simple, yet satisfying dish.

Thanks so much for your helpful advice. Now I will know what to do in the future!

For the record, the was no description provided on the menu for the crab cakes. So, I figured they would be a classic crab cake. I can't remember exactly what the taste was that I didn't care for, perhaps an abundance of thyme or something?