Are Waitstaff Your Servants or Your Friends

I thought this a rather interesting blog:

To me, the greatest compliment a customer can give is to act as though they expect me to anticipate their needs; that if they used their dinner fork on their salad, I would bring another dinner fork with their entrée without either of us having to say a thing.


If I’m doing my job well, they should be able to go the entire meal without even knowing I was there yet having had everything they needed for the perfect meal.


When we treat waitstaff like our friends it creates a tension to the meal because it implies we shouldn’t inconvenience them with our needs. And it devalues their service because you feel it’s unnecessary.

-Siddhartha Herdegen, Annapolis, MD

http://networkedblogs.com/3ZbLW

Gayle, are being a servant or friend the only options?
I consider myself a trained professional and take great pride in what I do. I am more than happy to serve as a quiet facilitator of a fine meal as the blogger suggested (indeed, I like the anonymity of this kind of service), but some people come to a restaurant because they need to feel some kind of connection, and a smiling face and a chat with a server makes them feel happy. But no matter how much I chat or know about my guests lives I still give the same level of service, and I can assure you that there is no tension or feeling of inconvenience when they ask for more (fill in the blank).
It takes some experience to learn to "read" a table and figure out what kind of service is expected- but that it part of the fun of the job.

Well said Gary.

I like what Gary said too! Nothing is more annoying when you go to a retaurant and the server pulls up a chair (backwards), plops down and hangs over the back saying "So, ya'll havin' a good time?" Or, (better yet) skips up to the table and in a "Katie Couric", over the top friendly way, writes their name upside down on the paper table cloth (should have been an initial indicator). I so appreciate friendly, efficient and unobtrusive servers!!!

I so appreciate friendly, efficient and unobtrusive servers!!!

Would someone define this a little more, please? They WANT servers to do their job. I get it. But, they don't want them to be annoying about it? Is this it?

I agree with Gary. Its a balance, and there is nothing more annoying than an intrusive server. I was once dining at a well known high end restaurant in High Point, NC. The server, who had worked there forever, kept coming over to the table literally every few minutes. When we dialoged with the server, he ended each and every sentence with "As you wish..." It was quite annoying, we politely asked him to stop.

You guys not only just hit the nail on the head, in my opinion, you just split Robin Hood's arrow.

It's a balance that FOH must have in order to do the best job they can. When we are on the floor, it's not about us- it's about you. We only excell when we make you happy. Whatever it takes- folding oragami fish for your kids, helping your grandma to the car or even holding the door for you when you come in or out. Hospitality needs to be, well, hospitable.

Yet, this thought can be, umm, misconstrued. It can get too lax, too much with it. 'Man, love ya to death, but I need more tea!' Get my point?

Either way, it is a fine line that is danced- and on the tips of our toes...

The server you spoke about got stuck 'in the rut.' Ever been to a restaurant and the server does this amazing opening presentation? They walk away and you all are commenting about how professional, how good they just made the specials sound...

Then they go to the very next table and do the same exact presentation to them?!??!

It's like, 'Awww...I'm not buying a single special now- cause we, evidently, aren't special!'

As a FOH geek, I always try to have a queue of 4, with jump-offs prepared. It's the most embarrasing thing in the world to have your guests feel like they have been 'turned-and-burned.'

It's happened to me and it sucks to watch thier demeanor drop. You just lost them. Like someone stepping on your puppy. You work too dang hard for such a thing to occur.

Get my drift?

Neither. They're people doing their jobs. I treat them with respect, just as I expect to be treated by my clients and my children. In return, I expect friendliness, but not more than ordinary politeness. If "servant" implies being subservient, not just serving, then no one, even a domestic employee, should have to live that way.