do servers not listen anymore?

[Robin Garr]

yeah that should get the meal off in the right direction, insult the server from the start

It is rarely wise to irritate a person who will be handling your food out of your sight ...

Yeah, Annemarie, I have to advise you against that course of action. I've never worked anywhere where I saw someone spit in food (I wouldn't stand for it if I did), but....I don't work everywhere. To demonstrate that you think they are stupid from the get-go would probably not yield optimum results.

Annemarie, I hate a lemon in my water, but it seems I cannot get water without a lemon slice, no matter how much I stress it. I just sigh and give the lemon to John - and for me, it's still ruined, because the lemon has been on the edge of the glass or in my water. But I rarely call them on it.

On the other hand, at Seviche they put a cucumber slice in your ice water. I wish more places did that!

I think a lot of getting some simple request wrong is "muscle memory". It's no excuse, but I've experienced it in action working pantry. "Dressing on the side" was my nemesis. I'm going full-bore, and I see a Caesar Salad ticket, I drop the lettuce in a stainless steel bowl, add the dressing, and start mixing. To be fair to myself, I usually noticed it before the server took it out the kitchen door, but to be honest - not always.

Cooks and servers have these repetitive routines. When you're busy you tend to revert to your "auto-pilot" mode. It doesn't mean you don't care, or can't pay proper attention. Personally for me, auto-pilot was my way of trying to make sure EVERYONE was taken care of in a timely manner. Some things slip through - we don't want them to, and we don't expect to be forgiven. I'm just offering this as an explanation, rather than an excuse.

everybody, i think annemarie was joking about writing down the no ice coke. you were, weren't you annemarie? i agree that this would piss off a server right off the bat and is not a wise idea.

annemarie, the only solution i can offer is to maybe start asking for the same server every time you visit your "regular" places. find one you like and stick with them. think of it like going to the same hairdresser every time. once you find one you like, you know he or she will always cut your hair the way you like it. if they are worth their salt, your "regular" server will get to know you and what you want. after a couple of visits, they will see you come through the door and before you even sit down, they'll head straight to the fountain to pour your no ice coke.

marsha, that is a really on-point explanation. it didn't sound like a bad excuse like, "i forgot," or "i didn't hear you." i know just what you mean about getting on auto-pilot especially when busy. also, i make a habit of never placing a lemon in anyone's beverage unless they order it with lemon. i can always go and get one for them if they ask, and this way nobody who doesn't want lemon has to fish one out of their drink. cucumber in water sounds neat. i will have to try that one!

Some servers just think they are too cool. They can take your entire table's order without writing anything down. And some of them actually can.

I'm not in that category. Once people start giving me complicated drink orders, I pull out my pen and start writing. If they say light ice, I write it down. I can do one or two simple drinks no problem, but when you get to the third drink with this or that then I'd rather make a note to myself so I get it right. Getting it right is what it is all about. Nobody minds the extra couple seconds for me to pull out a pen. It shows I care.

I say if a server can't remember it, they ought to be writing it down on their notepad. If they're too cool to do that, and they fail to remember, dock them pay (tip). I work for tips too, but if I totally screw up an order I expect a lower (if any) tip. Especially if someone orders something unusual (no ice is fairly unusual), they should just jot it in their notepad. Seems like common sense to me.

The only time I order no ice is on airplanes. I simply want to get twice as much of the drink I'm ordering (usually orange juice), rather than half a cup of ice. And on a plane it isn't like you can easily get refills!

Based only in my own serving experience, I think Marsha and Nimbus both make excellent points. I was 22(?) when I was waiting tables. Which means I was young and thought I was cool, and, therefore, obviously too good for pen and paper. Sure I wrote down dinner orders (most of the time), but never ever wrote down non-alcoholic beverage orders. I can't tell you the number of times I stared at the coke machine, waiting for miracle recall to begin. Remembering the "flavor" people wanted was hard enough - remembering "unusual" requests was usually too much. I'd do it differently now, as I now know I'm not cool.

The power of writing stuff down is that you can use the paper as recall material when you are delivering the drinks. I have photographic memory to a certain degree, so I was pretty good at matching face with order (once I retrieved them from my inter-cortex material while standing at the coke machine). I hated having to say "who had the Mr. Pibb?" I don't have many server pet-peeves, but quizzing the table on who had what drink is one of mine.

We dine out (casually) at least a couple of times a week and it is a very rare occurrence when something isn't screwed up in the service...entrees before apps, wrong salad dressing, wrong soda (a definate no-no since I'm allergic to the Aspartame in diet products), cold food, beer served without a glass, no tableware, napkins and/or appetizer plates, requests that go unfilled (and that's just in the past month). Definitely not unique to L'ville....We see it everywhere we go. Sorry, just telling it like it is. Most of the time I just let things slide but I definately remember it come time to tip.

Yeah, Annemarie, I have to advise you against that course of action. I've never worked anywhere where I saw someone spit in food (I wouldn't stand for it if I did), but....I don't work everywhere. To demonstrate that you think they are stupid from the get-go would probably not yield optimum results.

I debated whether or not to post this... but I actually have seen a server spit in someone's food and then serve it. I was serving at a restaurant here in town during college, and a family came in that had apparently stiffed this exact same server the last time they were in. Unluckily for them, they were seated in her section again. She got a glint in her eye and said she was going to spit in their food this time. Ha, ha, everyone thought - she's not really going to do it. Wrong. As their meals came up, she fixed one of them a ramekin of sour cream, spat in it, stirred it up and served it to them. I don't know why I didn't grab it off the plate - I guess I can chalk it up to the fact that I was 21 years old and horrified, and I figured she'd punch me if I did. Either way, it is my cautionary tale to everyone. Yes, it is totally unconscionable to spit in someone's food - no matter what they did - but it really does happen.

This particular story had an even worse ending. The family tipped nicely when they were done. Some kind of misunderstanding must happened after their previous visit - maybe someone took the tip off the table (it wasn't a nice restaurant) or something.

I'm actually glad you posted that, Antonia. And I would also advise any cooks or servers that see such behavior to speak up (quietly) to a manager, before that stuff gets served. If you're working in a decent place, the management will be grateful, although your co-workers might not be. Stress that you don't want to be fingered for the tattle-tale. Be discreet, but speedy about it.

Also, Antonia, I understand why you didn't do so...I'm just taking this opportunity to encourage other cooks and servers to speak up if they see something like this happen. You probably didn't feel like you had any support system for doing so, and that's a shame.

If I were a manager, I'd make it a module of training new employees that they are always safe to come and tell me something like that without fear of retribution. As restaurant employees, we should NEVER serve adulterated, unsafe food to anyone - no matter how much of an asshole they are. It's about professionalism and pride in your vocation. Slash their tires in the parking lot if you must (frankly I'd advise against that, as well, because it's criminal behavior) - but never, ever serve them unsafe food. That is actually assault.

Spitting in the food could be criminal behavior also. From a medical perspective, what if she discovered the next day she had TB, H1N1, MRSA, or even just plain seasonal flu? Not to mention the other less common illnesses that can be spread through expectorant. Anyone that does such a thing should not be serving and is a danger to others. I am not faulting you, Antonia, I know how hard it is to speak up when you are new on a job and young. I only hope those that care in the food service establishments care enough to make sure it does not happen to their patrons.

I just wanted to add - getting fired or having to quit because you "tattled" about someone spitting in food would be a badge of honor to many prospective employers.

your'e all right. i never thought about it from that angle. it's just so frustrating to ask for something so simple and it's always never correct. it must be my mesmerizing new york personality, they all get star struck... i wish.. lol

It's unfortunate that you may have to resort to my method, but it seems that this is the only way. You have to pair your request with a medical issue even if it's made up. For instance, I detest parsley, chives, or any type of green that's used as a garnish. It's fine if it's mixed in, but I hate it sprinkled on top. No real reason, just bugs me. So, I always say, "I'm allergic to parsley (or chives depending on the dish if I've seen the garnish before). They usually get it right. In your case, you could say, "I have very sensitive teeth and need my coke without ice."
My dad is a diet coke with no ice kind of guy so I understand the frustration. Just try my method once and see if it works.

Nice method. Tell them you've recently had a Gingivectomy and need to avoid ice in sodas. I actually had to do this, for real, and we'll not get into the surgery part; however I never had a messed up drink order.

Wow, this has been an interesting thread with quite a few twists and turns....but now i have to speak up

Jessica, please don't lie to your servers about fake medical conditions -

#1 - it is just plain bad karma
#2 - most servers are pretty "allergy aware" and can sense a feigned allergy to a pretty common ingredient, and thus you become the butt of server jokes in the kitchen
#3 - why not simply tell the server the truth - that you hate chives, green onions, parsley and other green things as garnish (and if they get it wrong - Bring it to their attention, so the problem can be corrected)
#4 - for the most part there are only a few serious food allergies which make servers and kitchen folk pay serious attention to your dish (shellfish and peanuts are the top 2 on my list) - <not that other allergies aren't important, but they aren't as likely to be fatal>

Apparently, Annemarie has the worst "no ice" luck of anyone, ever; and i and servers everywhere apologize for the inconvenience, and honestly, most of us try very hard to get the order right.
Sometimes though, the years of repetitive action take control and we do the first thing we always do when we return with the drink order; We place ice in the glasses. Sorry, that is what we are trained to do.
i know you view it as a very simple request; but in reality it is a deviation from the norm for every server everywhere in the US to NOT place ice in the glass

Its like asking you to NOT stop at a red light, or to drive on the left hand side of the road - the request itself seems so bizarre that your mind barely even allows you to consider it, much less complete the request

imagine the first thing you do at work everyday......now do the opposite

If you ever make it out to the CPC, i promise we'll try to get the request right the first time.


a side note -
i've never seen anyone spit in anyone's food, i've never worked in fast food either though

Shawn