Should you be informed abou a party of 20 before seated?

I used to run a small waterfront restaurant (sat 60) and we regularly had large groups come in, many of which were frequenters so we knew that certain groups would be there for 3-4 hours and could get quite loud. When I knew certain groups were going to be coming in fairly soon I would mention it to people I was getting ready to seat, but I never said "we have a large, noisy crowd coming, do you want to sit somewhere away from them?" If they looked like they were more serious I would say something like "it can get rather loud out here around this time" or offer the quieter indoor dining space, it was often enough to prompt them to make it clear if they wanted some privacy.

You may have had an inexperienced hostess, but as others have said, you also have to speak up. It was fairly frequent that I received a request for a quiet corner, a good view, or some privacy. But I'm pretty sure the owners would not have allowed or tolerated a server or myself outright offering to move a table away from a loud table without good reason.

The most interesting thing about this post is that Linda asked for opinions and when they were not hers, got upset with everyone on here. Apparently she only wanted to be validated, and still does. Nothing is going to change her opinion on her being "wronged". Ugh.

I think if a restaurant knows a large party is coming in, they should seat the tables which are AWAY from the party first. This way, nobody gets pissed off and if you are sat at the last table next to the large party, you are aware what is going on AND you can request to wait for another table away from the party. Most large groups are definately louder than a 2-top sitting alone in a restaurant. Most smaller tables do not like to talk above a group right next to them. Thus, I think it is the restaurant's responsibility to try to seat tables the way I mentioned above. A restaurant is there to SERVE and accomadate every guest's need; thus, i think they are the ones should take the initiative of fixing a problem before it exists. So, Linda, i guess i am on your side on this one. And, if a party is over the top, obnoxiously loud, I think the restaurant manager should step in and tell the group to keep it down.

Well, here we are again with a diner in a situation where someone goes out to eat and something happens to make him/her feel wronged in some way, justified or not, and sits there like a bump on a log, saying nothing about it when something could be done to fix it, and then races back to whine about it on LHB.

I vote we pass a rule forbidding people from complaining about problems unless they have first given the restaurant the opportunity to rectify the situation.

And, no, I'm not in the industry and, no, the restaurant did nothing wrong.

I am precisely 1/2 way through reading this thread (been aloof lately), and I'll finish here in a sec, but I just wanted to opine while the thought was still fresh...

I have asked to be relocated, possibly to the irrevocable disdain by staff (so be it), and have landed in VERY comfortable chairs. Point being, it's not your duty to the restaurant, people here on the forum, or your "sense of self" to ask for more when you've had a chance encounter with the shaft, but it feels really nice to remove yourself from compromise and plant your pants in a happy seat. I love the feeling of, "ahhh, I'm so glad we did this". That's all.

Aw, gee, I stepped away from it for several hours just to think. Thank you Gary for the taze thing. If I had been in a large restaurant and saw a table of 30 being bussed, I could have and should have asked for a table far away. This place is not set up like that at all. It was a real surprise, and yes, my kids are always horrified if I make a complaint. For instance, I took my daughter to Memphis for a sports event. We stayed at the Hyatt. The dust and filth in that room were unbelievable. We looked under the bed and found food, condoms and a brand new pair of Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses. My daughter begged me not to complain, but it was also reeking of smoke. The manager offered to give us a bottle of wine or free breakfast but I refused. I just wanted him to see what kind of job his staff were doing. It's not about getting something free and i don't want that. I do see your point about not knowing which type of group would be in the center room or how loud they would be. I will concede on that. Thanks again for your responses.

This U.S. Department of Labor states-

“Hosts and hostesses try to create a good impression of a restaurant
by warmly welcoming guests. Because hosts and hostesses are
restaurants' personal representatives, they try to insure that service
is prompt and courteous and that the meal meets expectations. They may
courteously direct patrons to where coats and other personal items may
be left and indicate where patrons can wait until their table is
ready. Hosts and hostesses assign guests to tables suitable for the
size of their group, escort patrons to their seats, and provide menus.
They also schedule dining reservations, arrange parties, and organize
any special services that are required."

It is not in the hostess or host's job description to dertermine whether you'll appreciate the other guests around you. Believe me, I've been a hostess and a darn good one, but I never, ever made an assumption like that. Like I always tell my mother when we go out to eat. If you have a problem with something, then let's talk to the server or manager. Otherwise, drop it!

This thread has taught me a lesson about anticipating guest's needs. I think every FOH pro has seen this situation before. The table that is looking for an experience of quiet, relaxed conversation ends up with the revelers next to them. I've seen it many times and always kinda feel bad for the introvert guest. Their body language tightens up, they cut their meal short and you know that even though they will come back, hopefully, this kind of thing happens to them often. It's almost always the early-birds that are followed by the 2nd or 3rd seatings. Not to overgeneralize but in my experience you can expect a certain psychological demographic from when people dine.

Let's use me as an example: From what everybody knows about me, what time do I almost always reserve my table? You guessed it! 3rd turn, 8:00 or later. A recent meal with my mother and aunt at Volare' was a perfect example of how my family of Irish revelers enjoy a meal. My aunt kissed the piano player on the cheek for playing her song, I requested wine pairings from the bar manager and at one point Christine, the barkeep and a friend boldly brought out a wine- placing it front of me and TOLD me this was what I was to drink! You could have heard my cackles across the street, hehe. We talked with our server for at least 30 minutes about food, wine, etc. Every table next to us became our new best friends.

There were just three of us, yet I am confident we would have also been too loud and would have probably annoyed you. Could the restaurant see this coming? The industry standard for anticipating guest expectations is to ask if the meal is a special occasion in an attempt to collect this information prior to the meal. That way the table best suited may be selected. The reality is that people tend to resist the prying questions that prevent this kind of a thing from happening. When asked, do you think that the person who made the reservation said 'we tend to get loud, so you might want to seat us away from everyone else.' ?

As was mentioned, the only way to get exactly what you want out of a meal is to take charge of your own experience. You are the boss! By communicating your needs up front and declaring yourself a foodie, not only will you get the experience you want, but you will also open yourself up to various benefits, enhancements and touches that local indies like to offer to foodie regulars.

Your post has given me some food for thought, though. There has to be a better way to identify and organize extrovert and introvert tables, yet it seems a new system for reservation-taking would have to be employed. Lately, I have been recommending red wines by asking the guest a simple question: 'fruit or leather?' Perhaps a simple A or B question would do it without seeming intrusive. Hmmm...

Lately, I have been recommending red wines by asking the guest a simple question: 'fruit or leather?'

Stephen-
To this question I'd likely respond, "yes".
What wine would you suggest for me?
Redwinger

Let's use me as an example: From what everybody knows about me, what time do I almost always reserve my table? You guessed it! 3rd turn, 8:00 or later. A recent meal with my mother and aunt at Volare' was a perfect example of how my family of Irish revelers enjoy a meal. My aunt kissed the piano player on the cheek for playing her song, I requested wine pairings from the bar manager and at one point Christine, the barkeep and a friend boldly brought out a wine- placing it front of me and TOLD me this was what I was to drink! You could have heard my cackles across the street, hehe. We talked with our server for at least 30 minutes about food, wine, etc. Every table next to us became our new best friends.

You sound like you were in the bar area. I don't think anyone should complain about noise in that situation unless it was profane and nasty, which I have never seen at Volare. We go often to the bar area. Volare has the luxury of a large private room for a large party. Gallo Rossi (sp?) does not have that, but I don't see how anyone can tell if a party is going to be loud. I can understand Lindas' frustration, but you can't throw a large party out just because they are having a good time.

Perhaps we could submit our Myers-Briggs score upon making the reservation. ENTP.

Stephen - Your table sounds like fun!

Bill- You would win the prize! By identifying yourself as a wine geek/ foodie and indicating an openness to a new experience, you give me permission to 'play.' If I'm slammed and unable to, I fall back on light bodied reds with old world or international notes- like Barbera or both our Pinot Noirs. They have the flexibility to pair with our cuisine, while still having some stand-alone ability. Also expect an off-the menu offering, depending on what open bottles I have from promotions and training. If I have the time, expect me to try to give you a unique option. Off the top of my head: a spontaneous flight, a wine accompanied by a tasting plate (right now- pomegranate pickled lotus rootlet, Islay scotch vapor and black-pepper black raspberries,) and I've been playing with sangrias lately. Many foodies have fun developing cocktails as part of their meal. I would basically pick something I felt you would enjoy and then see if you bite!

Steve- Although we did finish our meal with cordials at the bar, the meal was taken in the main dining room in front of the kitchen. Looking back over my post, I can see how my tale would lead you to come to that conclusion. And here I thought it was well told, hehe.

Leanne- I'll be honest... the entire maternal side of my family is that way. Quick to love, slow to let go. Louisvillians...

I think this thread has really drug on to long. Let's all agree to disagree and move on!!!

I think this thread has really drug on to long. Let's all agree to disagree and move on!!!

And here I felt that we were in the 'lessons/learned' stage of conflict resolution. I would bend over backwards to see Linda as much as I can. Now, if she is alienated by a bad experience, I won't get that opportunity. I'm pretty sure I can speak for every restaurant in the city on this...

So, what do we do? We learn to ask the right questions in order to anticipate our guest's needs. It would seem to me that the industry standard (Hey Marsha!) could use a little tweaking.

Should we drop the conversation, or would we be better served by seeing this one through? We're almost done here, Rick, be patient!

It would seem to me that the industry standard (Hey Marsha!) could use a little tweaking.

Hey, Stephen - you know I love you, but I just wrote an Industry Standard last month about what to do if you're dissatisfied with your food or service in a restaurant: Speak to a manager about it and give them a chance to fix it before you post it on the internet.