Things that annoy you while dining in restaurants

I keep hearing that 20% is the standard these days but I certainly don't know where it came from or understand why. I can't accept the argument about inflation because the cost of the meal has gone up so the tip will go up accordingly thus covering inflation. I thoroughly agree that there are cases where a larger tip is appropriate and warranted but just for doing the minimum required I don't see any reason the percentage should increase. It seems like the increase in standard tip percentage is just a movement started by wait staff to increase their income without having to increase the level of service.

20% as the standard for tips is not a "movement started by wait staff." It is the standard I have used for dining out for my entire adult life, well before I worked in a restaurant.

As for mandatory tips, I understand the reasoning but I personally think they are disservice to both parties. From the customer standpoint there's very little incentive for the waiter(waitress) to do an exceptional job so in many cases the customer is not getting the level of service that it expected. From the server standpoint there's very little chance they will be rewarded for exceptional service. I realize the customer can add an additional tip but in reality very few do. I'm also not sure how a mandatory tip is legal since in reality it should be taxable if it is mandatory.

If you honestly think that servers slack on their service for large parties, then I feel somewhat sorry for you. As a server, a large party is an opportunity for me to show my skills to more than just a two-top, and consequently get well compensated for it. More often than not, when I wait on a large table, I do receive additional amounts added to the automatic gratuity, mostly because those guests realize that I've worked hard on their behalf. I don't know any server who wants to deliberately slack because they have a large party seated in their section. I'd say it's the opposite: most servers will work harder for that large party. And unless you've been on the server side of the equation, it's pretty unfair for you to generalize.

All this being said we routinely tip 20% or more for good service but don't feel its requirement. It's a reward for competent courteous service.

Obviously people are free to tip whatever they like, and my thoughts on the issue -- no matter what side of the table -- are not the end of the matter. However, part of what I think we're missing here is a sense of understanding the human side of the equation. I don't tip well because I want to be seen as a big shot or some such nonsense; I tip well because I know that the person taking my order works hard on my behalf, and as such deserves a living wage. This entire thread is filled with annoyances on both sides -- patrons and servers -- and that's to be expected. However, what I'm trying to express is that nobody, whether they're a guest or a server, deserves anything less than the same dignity that all humans are entitled to. Paying someone just compensation for their labor is only one part a customer can play, but an important one, in terms of treating everybody with the respect and dignity they deserve.

However, what I'm trying to express is that nobody, whether they're a guest or a server, deserves anything less than the same dignity that all humans are entitled to. Paying someone just compensation for their labor...

If more restaurants paid their employees "just compensation" instead of the absolute bare minimum then we wouldn't be having this conversation on the same level now would we ?

If more restaurants paid their employees "just compensation" instead of the absolute bare minimum then we wouldn't be having this conversation on the same level now would we ?

Very true, but I'm not holding my breath waiting for the law to change.

If more restaurants paid their employees "just compensation" instead of the absolute bare minimum then we wouldn't be having this conversation on the same level now would we ?

Very true, but I'm not holding my breath waiting for the law to change.

It shouldn't be about a "law" Joel...it should be about, as you said in your previous reply, human dignity. Not to sound snarky but your reply leaves me with the strong impression that you believe that (providing for) the human dignity end of this equation is 100% in the lap of the consumer. I'm not buying that.

People, people - I wrote a column on the auto-gratuity and the reasons and justifications for it last winter. Do try to keep up.

Gratuitous Gratuity?

Marsha, I thought that your article was excellent. I briefly addressed the main point -- that a large table can monopolize a server's attention -- that you went into such great detail in your article.

It shouldn't be about a "law" Joel...it should be about, as you said in your previous reply, human dignity. Not to sound snarky but your reply leaves me with the strong impression that you believe that (providing for) the human dignity end of this equation is 100% in the lap of the consumer. I'm not buying that.

As for servers' wages, I'm afraid that only new legislation will ever bring about any change. Restaurants are just like any other business in the sense that they will avoid whatever additional overhead whenever possible (however, in some ways restaurants are unlike many other businesses because their profit margins are much smaller to begin with).

An easier way for me, as a server, to make a living wage than to sit around waiting for politicians to change the law (which will never happen, since restaurant staff are not a special interest with a huge lobby) is to treat all of my guests with proper respect, dignity and service, so that's what I strive for. If you got some other sort of impression, then I don't think you were reading my words properly. It's a two-way street, wherein I provide excellent service, and should be compensated accordingly.

Telling you the wait is "30 minutes" which morphs into 50 minutes, an hour, an hour and 15. FOH needs to be honest with wait-times- then I'll decide if I want to/can wait. Unless something extraordinary has happened ( eg. a server had to be rushed to the hospital ), this smacks of deceit and makes me unlikely to come back.

Ditto on arriving for my confirmed reservation and then having to wait half an hour or more for a table.

Deb

Ditto on arriving for my confirmed reservation and then having to wait half an hour or more for a table.

When I was a hostess, this scenario would happen, causing the above effect:

Someone calls in for a reservation, but there is a very limited amount of space left for that night. I say, I can give you a table at 6:00, but we have a reservation on it at 7:15, so we'll need the table at that time. They say, oh yes, we are just glad to be able to get a table, we'll absolutely be done by then. That night rolls around, the servers, kitchen and bussers are aware that the table needs to turn quickly, and they guests proceed to camp out at the table till 7:30, 7:45, 8:00... leaving the party who had the 7:15 reservation on that table hovering around the bar and getting really annoyed. At a small restaurant, where all the other tables are tightly booked, one table of campers can really screw you. Sometimes you can fudge it around with other tables that leave and change your seating plan for the night, but not always. It's irksome that someone agrees to certain conditions and then completely ignores them when the time comes to vacate.

An easier way for me, as a server, to make a living wage than to sit around waiting for politicians to change the law (which will never happen, since restaurant staff are not a special interest with a huge lobby) is to treat all of my guests with proper respect, dignity and service, so that's what I strive for.

Bingo Joel, you're in the front row. Because of that attitude, I'm certain you are one of the people at the top of the server food chain.

Antonia,

I understand the dilema. I hate to say it, and I know it's hard to do, but as the polite customer (with a reservation), I would expect the GM to politely go to the "campers" around 7:30 and explain that the table was needed for another reservation, and could their conversation continue at the bar....

Deb

I'm in total agreement with you, Deb.

An easier way for me, as a server, to make a living wage than to sit around waiting for politicians to change the law (which will never happen, since restaurant staff are not a special interest with a huge lobby) is to treat all of my guests with proper respect, dignity and service, so that's what I strive for.

With that attitude I'm sure you're one of these servers who I would tip very well because you would provide great service very courteously. Unfortunately that's not the case all the time. Many times it seems like the wait staff tries to get by with the least amount of work possible and I have found this especially true with large parties when they have a guaranteed tip. Overall in the last 10 or 15 years I've seen the level of service go down while the expectation for a larger tip has increased. For some reason I have a hard time following that way of thinking! Sorry if I've struck a nerve here but......

I found this an interesting read and have seen it used on tables while I worked in a restaurant. For the MOST part...people are ok.


http://www.schonwalder.org/Menu_Intermezzo_Seatings.htm

Ditto on arriving for my confirmed reservation and then having to wait half an hour or more for a table.

When I was a hostess, this scenario would happen, causing the above effect:

Someone calls in for a reservation, but there is a very limited amount of space left for that night. I say, I can give you a table at 6:00, but we have a reservation on it at 7:15, so we'll need the table at that time. They say, oh yes, we are just glad to be able to get a table, we'll absolutely be done by then. That night rolls around, the servers, kitchen and bussers are aware that the table needs to turn quickly, and they guests proceed to camp out at the table till 7:30, 7:45, 8:00... leaving the party who had the 7:15 reservation on that table hovering around the bar and getting really annoyed. At a small restaurant, where all the other tables are tightly booked, one table of campers can really screw you. Sometimes you can fudge it around with other tables that leave and change your seating plan for the night, but not always. It's irksome that someone agrees to certain conditions and then completely ignores them when the time comes to vacate.

There's two parties in this matter. While it's frustrating that the camping party didn't hold up their end of the agreement, it's ultimately the restaurants responsibility to build in a little lee-way to allow for surprises.

It's like that game I played growing up when waiting for food at PoFolks. The one with the wooden triangle and the golf tees, where you leave one of the spots open and try to eliminate the rest of the pegs. A good restaurant will leave that little opening around which they can maneuver. If you feel up all the pegs, to refer back to the game, you can't even start with moves. Same goes for a restaurant.

Have to be willing to have a few fewer covers to make sure everything goes smoothly.

In the immortal words of my Momma, "Crying babies are like good intentions . . . They should both be carried out immediately!"