do servers not listen anymore?

I believe a lot of it is a societal trend. People (especially younger people) no longer know how to communicate with people right in front of them. Look, I'm only 32, and do all of the social networking sites for fun, but I can still be nice to people and smile, and chat them up. I work in a cosmetic practice. I smile at patients, greet them, and stand up when they come in to give them their paper work. But I'll go to someplace like Target, Walmart, even my own Drs. office and people are SO unfriendly. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to Target and since I swipe my own card not even get a "thank you" or a "did you find everything ok." It's pathetic.
Since we're sharing positives..I had a fairly bad experience at McAlisters recently. Waited over 30 min for food, and when my Dad went up to ask what happened, it took at least another 4 min. for it to come out. We could see it sitting in the window, it was cold by the time we got it. However, I complained to mgmt. and they were very responsive. I got a call from the Mgr. Tracy apologizing, and he gave us free meal tix for our next visit. I'm not expecting that everything goes right every time. But at least they made the effort to make it right.

I think those with the most time spent interacting with younger people should be allowed to bring the strongest material to the table. I interact with 21 college freshman/sophomores twice a week, for 1.25 hours at a time, for 14 straight weeks. I then repeat this over the next 14 weeks with 26 new students. Some semesters I get daring and interact with 44 or even 52.

I think these students would disagree with your assessment. I also would not fault them for not giving "a flying fuck" based on the lack of faith displayed by what seems to be the majority of people.

Funny thing here is that this "lack of faith in the next generation" is an always present issue. Maybe one generation will figure that out and give up these ridiculous "the youth of today" arguments.

[Robin Garr]

Funny thing here is that this "lack of faith in the next generation" is an always present issue. Maybe one generation will figure that out and give up these ridiculous "the youth of today" arguments.

I guess it's time to drag out the old, probably legendary, quote from Socrates or Plato:

"The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have
no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all
restraint. They talk as if they alone knew everything and what passes
for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for girls, they are
forward, immodest and unwomanly in speech, behaviour and dress."

I lack the range of your contacts, Matthew, but from the baristas at Heine Brothers to youth groups at St. Matthew's Episcopal, to most servers in local restaurants I encounter, teens and 20-somethings around Louisville generally seem to me to be able to communicate courteously and well.

Funny thing here is that this "lack of faith in the next generation" is an always present issue. Maybe one generation will figure that out and give up these ridiculous "the youth of today" arguments.

<chuckle>...Matthew, this "lack of faith" issue goes back a lot farther than this forum or for that matter farther back than any of the people on this forum. It's called a "generation gap" and it goes like this: When you are young, the older generation has no confidence in your desires, goals, abilities, etc and they aren't afraid to tell you about it...When you get older you just put the other hat on your head and it's your turn to doubt the desires, goals and abilities of your children's generation. It's not right, it's just the way it is and that my friend is the way life is....Oh, and this...as much as we geezers and geezerettes pick on 'em, don't ever think we don't love 'em.

I think those with the most time spent interacting with younger people should be allowed to bring the strongest material to the table. I interact with 21 college freshman/sophomores twice a week, for 1.25 hours at a time, for 14 straight weeks. I then repeat this over the next 14 weeks with 26 new students. Some semesters I get daring and interact with 44 or even 52.

Matthew,

I'll "see" your 21 college freshman and "raise" you 18 ATC students...2 shifts, 17 hours a day. If they can't communicate when they show up we just commence to beating them long enough and hard enough until they DO learn to communicate.

All kidding aside, your point is well taken.

I'm glad people disagree with my opinion about others focusing on the negative. My point is positive reviews should be heard by more than the one or two people. The negative threads can still exist, fine. I've no qualms about it. I want to see stories and discussions of places where the service is splendid.

I never put words into your mouth.

I was making the point that just because you'd like to see more positive comments, doesn't mean it will necessarily happen, and nobody can be made to make comments of any sort, positive or negative. Would it be great to see a thread on something positive? Yes. Unfortunately, human nature isn't always wired that way.

Having come late to this discussion, my perception is that this is not only pertinant to servers but our Younger citizens in general. They text, IM, E-Mail, Facebook, My Space and Twitter all day long and have no personal communication skills. They are used to LOL OMG and ROFLMAO that they do not understand an oral request for anything. Societal trends are pushing all our work force in this direction.
Ever ask an employee to use a ruler or a Measuring cup? You might be supprised

i guess this thread has really got me on the defensive. sorry, but i have to disagree with you, john. your comment offended me. i am 25 years old and have stated clearly above that i take my work seriously and genuinely do care about the way i treat others. i don't do any one of the things you mentioned "all day long." i read, clean my home, work at my job, cook meals for myself and BF, visit my parents...etc. i don't have time to have an online alter-identity. i own a blackberry and don't even subscribe to the internet on it. guess what? i use it for phonecalls and that's it. i may not have the same amount of life experience as someone older than i am, but that does not mean i'm not as useful a member of society as they are, and i can't help but feel that that is what you are implying in your post. i may not be the most articulate person or boast as vast a vocabulary as someone older than i am, but i look people in the eye when speaking with them and i listen carefully to what people say to me. i think this falls under the catgory of personal communicaiton skills. i am perfectly capable of understanding oral requests as well as using rulers and measuring cups.

If we could just ban the use of "no problem" and have an occasional "you are welcome." Sigh.

You kids better stop all this bickering or I'll turn this car around !!!

I think those with the most time spent interacting with younger people should be allowed to bring the strongest material to the table. I interact with 21 college freshman/sophomores twice a week, for 1.25 hours at a time, for 14 straight weeks. I then repeat this over the next 14 weeks with 26 new students. Some semesters I get daring and interact with 44 or even 52.

Matthew,

I'll "see" your 21 college freshman and "raise" you 18 ATC students...2 shifts, 17 hours a day. If they can't communicate when they show up we just commence to beating them long enough and hard enough until they DO learn to communicate.

All kidding aside, your point is well taken.

For my own knowledge, what is ATC?

just maybe the bad service is more prevalent these days.

Well, I don't agree with this statement either, at least from personal experience. Over the past two years, let's say, I would guess I've had a bad service experience once for every ten or fifteen good or excellent service experiences. Your mileage may vary.

Annemarie wasn't saying it was more prevalent than good service, she was just saying it was more prevalent than it used to be. That's certainly a statement I have to agree with! Following your line of thought, I would probably agree that maybe 1 out of 10 of our dining experiences these days have bad service. However if I go back 10 years ago or so (when the overall we were eating at cheaper restaurants) I would speculate we only had bad service 1 out of every 25 or more dining experiences. Looking at it this way the quality of service has declined by over 50%! It all depends on your baseline.

I used to have more bad server experiences than I do now because I used to be a bigger asshole than I am now. For all I know, the service stayed the same but I offered some improvement to the situation.

I used to have more bad server experiences than I do now because I used to be a bigger asshole than I am now.

Matthew, that made me giggle.

Thoughout this whole post, I'm surprised by the fact that no one has brought up the fact people, in general, really don't have any patience anymore. General rudeness in customers is at an all time high. The tolerence bar is set pretty low nowadays.

Maybe the poor schleb who is making $2.15 an hour serving you is having a bad day. We all have them. Perhaps they forgot your dressing on the side or forgot your straw. Immediately that sets a bad precident for the rest of your experience. In our society that seems to be based more and more on instant gratification, people seem less tolerent of an honest mistake. That tends to lead to rude behavior from the patron who fells slighted.

In my 20+ years of experience in foodservice, I have noticed that the percection of the diner's experience has changed significantly as well. Some people's expectations are so low anymore that nothing will give them a good experience no matter what you do. Some examples of this group are people who expect drinks and a basket of bread as soon as their ass hits the seat of the chair, complain that the AC is too cold and can't possibly wait more than 10 minutes for their well done steak they ordered. Another group is people who dine out with their mis-behaving children. You know the type. The ones who ask for everything under the sun, run a server to death for crackers, sippycups, crayons, cookies etc. And they turn the server into a de-facto babysitter. They are usually are more interested in anything else except their children running throughout the establishment crushing crackers in the floor and making a huge mess and are offended when the matter is brought to their attention because they would rather be a friend to their child than a parent. Somehow, this becomes the server's fault more often than not.
Customers like this are difficult to please.

It may seem that sometime simple requests get overlooked and that leads to the perception that no-one cares. But from where I've been standing, it goes both ways. Is it too much to ask for some common courtesy from a customer? I'm not saying everyone is like this, but it has become more commonplace.

It takes a lot to actually make me complain. For example, the time my hubby, brother, and I went to a restaurant on Hurstbourne, and had the worst experience, EVER. From the second the gentleman took our order, it was just BAD. First, our orders were wrong. Secondly, he accidentally dumped a full glass of tea into my lap. We tried to mop it up with the 3 paper napkins on the table, but to no avail, so we asked for more napkins. A few minutes went by, no napkins, no towel, no nothing, so we tried to flag another waiter down. No luck. Finally, about 10 minutes later, our waiter remembers that we had asked for something to mop up the mess. Needless to say, after several minutes, covered in cold tea, I was not a happy camper. We didn't leave much of a tip (I'm sorry, but I was in no mood to tip 20%) but we did call and complain to management. They offered to comp us, but I wasn't that impressed with the food to begin with, so we politely declined.

Waiting tables is a hard job. Some people are suited to it, some aren't. Our waiter was not.

Maybe the poor schleb who is making $2.15 an hour serving you is having a bad day.

Dan,

You make two very good points about a lack of patience on the part of the patron and the overall lowering of the "tolerance bar". Deferring to your years of experience both points well taken and heartily agreed to. I do however take mild exception to your characterization of servers as "poor schleps making $2.15 an hour" when in fact (taking into account gratuities) most make far-far more than that...I personally have friends who have given up relatively well paying office jobs to return to waiting tables simply because they could make more money. Intended or not, suggesting these "poor schleps" are working for such a meager hourly take home casts them as victims and personally I'm not buying into that. If these folks are really truly only making $2.15 an hour they are either in the wrong business or the restaurant they work for is not long for this world.

With a shout out to 95% of the front of the house people who do perform a very difficult job at a very high level it is (always and unfortunately) the other 5% that garner much of the attention. The same statistic (which I pulled out of my ass by-the-way) applies to every job on the planet...and the reaction by the customer, though less public, is much the same.