Wearing at hat while dining

In my opinion it's in no way rude to wear a HAT unless your at a Funeral,Wedding,High end Restaurant,or social event that requires a suit & tie.....that being said if you have friends that put conditions on your atire,then I would seriously rethink my association with such a snob,because no real friend would act this way. I would never ask a friend of mine that came into my home to remove their hat. This may be a very embarrasing request for your friend....there are many reasons why cancer,baldness,shyness..etc I would never be so stuck up to disreguard my friends reason for wearing his/her hat nor would I embarrass them in front of others. Some people are very rude to only think about themselves in this respect....we do not live in the 40's or 50's anymore this is 2009 and lot's of things have changed since those days and some for the better!

Did I miss something in this thread?... Who said anything about imposing a hats-off requirement on friends? Did anybody here ever suggest they have ever asked someone to remove a hat anywhere, either in a public place or somebody's home?

The original question was in the context of whether folks here considered it appropriate to wear a hat indoors, particularly a restaurant, and even though many of us voiced our opinion about the appropriateness of that or what we consider perhaps unusual attachments to hat-wearing, I don't think anybody ever suggested they imposed rules and regulations on anybody in that way.

Yeah? Or, again, did I miss something?... It begins to appear that those of us who prefer a hats-off approach indoors are being cast in a weird sort of inflexible, tyrannical light. Nobody's being tyrannical that I can see, although we've voiced our *preference*, which is what we were asked to voice. And most of us who have are actually doing it in a fairly light-hearted and playful way, as far as I could tell.... Until now....

I was told long ago that the origin of may manner/ettiquite norms stems from the desire to make others around you feel at ease- introductions,pleasantries,eating with your mouth closed, wearing shoes to cover your nasty feet,ect. So a hat in a restaurant wouldn't offend me- but if you are wearing it in a church, concert, ect. indoors it would be rude because it would be obstructing people's view.

Clarification about my own original post about my young, balding ferrier who always wore a hat and whom I sensed massive insecurities about once it was practically forcibly removed from his head.... I really don't care whether this young man wears a hat, or where he wears it or under what circumstances, and I certainly never mentioned it or embarrassed him about it. In fact, this is the first time and place I've ever mentioned it. If I sounded derisive in that regard, it actually goes way beyond the hat issue, and certainly nothing about his hair, but comes from my experience with the man himself which evolved into a troubled one over time because he was insufferably rude and unreliable. Which has nothing to do with hats. Or hair. Or anyway not insofar as I was concerned. But I think it did have everything to do with his own insecurities about it, and also may have contributed to his surliness, which was unfortunate. Because suddenly, for me, a lot of his behavior began to make sense. I really do believe he was super self-conscious about his balding, and I understand it's an issue for a lot of people, and that unfortunately many people's insecurities make them so paranoid that they walk around all day defensive and prickly and, for this guy, intolerably rude.

Darnit, what I mean to come back to say was this....

PHIL, your original message here about your relative newness to the area, looking to make friends, etc., reminded me of me and Gary just a few years ago. When we moved here, it was one in a series of moves that left me too tired to even think about making new friends. But then of course we realized, Hey! We don't have any local friends! What's with that?... We actually *do* have friends, even locally, now, but I know the feeling. So, you and Donna and Gary and I should get together sometime (and if you're not completely burned out on the Proof bar, that would be a swell start), and Donna will have a ready ally in her no-hats-in-the-restaurant policy.

Several people have made accusations that it is never proper in any fasion to wear a hat in public facilities or even in their own homes

I couldn't possibly wear a hat inside. It goes against my impeccable breeding and manners. And anyway they give me "hat head," which is just one degree from bed head.

This quote impies that people who disagree are somehow ill mannerd and inferior in some way. I've been to Jack Frys before and over heard rude snobs go on and on at their table in coversation about someone in the place with their hat on....This made me sick to my stomach...so much so that I aked to move away from that table of rudeness. This gentlemen was wearing a fashionable hat that went very well with his nice attire...it was in no way a cap or baseball cap but very fittin to his outfit...he over heard their conversation at one point and soon put them in their place...which made me shake his hand before he left. I think it is perfectly fine if one themselves dosen't like to wear a hat that's your perogative...no one is forcing you,but to imply that someone that likes to where a hat for whatever reason is somehow lower than you is pure NASTY!!!!!!!

Several people have made accusations that it is never proper in any fasion to wear a hat in public facilities or even in their own homes

I couldn't possibly wear a hat inside. It goes against my impeccable breeding and manners. And anyway they give me "hat head," which is just one degree from bed head.

This quote impies that people who disagree are somehow ill mannerd and inferior in some way. I've been to Jack Frys before and over heard rude snobs go on and on at their table in coversation about someone in the place with their hat on....This made me sick to my stomach...so much so that I aked to move away from that table of rudeness. This gentlemen was wearing a fashionable hat that went very well with his nice attire...it was in no way a cap or baseball cap but very fittin to his outfit...he over heard their conversation at one point and soon put them in their place...which made me shake his hand before he left. I think it is perfectly fine if one themselves dosen't like to wear a hat that's your perogative...no one is forcing you,but to imply that someone that likes to where a hat for whatever reason is somehow lower than you is pure NASTY!!!!!!!

I guess I just assumed folks who know me would understand that when I say I have "impeccable breeding" that I'm not being serious.

I'll go out on a limb here and suggest that anybody who suggests aloud to anybody within earshot that they have "impeccable breeding and manners" is probably a jack**s.

Um, so anyway.... Mike, buddy, I was joking.

Several people have made accusations that it is never proper in any fasion to wear a hat in public facilities or even in their own homes

I couldn't possibly wear a hat inside. It goes against my impeccable breeding and manners. And anyway they give me "hat head," which is just one degree from bed head.

This quote impies that people who disagree are somehow ill mannerd and inferior in some way. I've been to Jack Frys before and over heard rude snobs go on and on at their table in coversation about someone in the place with their hat on....This made me sick to my stomach...so much so that I aked to move away from that table of rudeness. This gentlemen was wearing a fashionable hat that went very well with his nice attire...it was in no way a cap or baseball cap but very fittin to his outfit...he over heard their conversation at one point and soon put them in their place...which made me shake his hand before he left. I think it is perfectly fine if one themselves dosen't like to wear a hat that's your perogative...no one is forcing you,but to imply that someone that likes to where a hat for whatever reason is somehow lower than you is pure NASTY!!!!!!!

I do believe anyone who wears a hat inside a public place (you can do whatever you want inside your home the far as I'm concerned) is ill mannerd. They obviously don't know anything about etiquette nor manners or if they do they choose to totally ignoring it. I feel sorry for the person in Jack Fry's, because they obviously did not know what he was doing and the people who ridiculed him were also in the wrong. You on the other hand just made a bad situation worse, you shouldn't just ignored the entire incident.

I don't believe a person who ignores rules of etiquette and proper manners is inferior or lower, they're just uninformed of what is proper. If they do it knowingly they're just plain rude.

I find this thread amusing because of the fact that it's already 5 pages long and it's not even about a restaurant or food! I guess it just shows how this group just loves a heated discussion no matter what the subject. Fortunately everyone knows that most of our statements are made in fun and that we're all a pretty good group of people!

Sure sounds like alot of defensive people if you ask me...that's why I haven't posted on here in over a year!!! I do still read all the snobby ,and hateful material spewed by some,but occasional someone on here actually makes some sense. This subject brought me out of the box,because i can't stand a bunch of snobs thinking they are better than everybody else.

It is impolite for a man to wear a hat indoors (with some exceptions). It is rude for anyone to make him feel uncomfortable for doing so.

Rules of etiquette are meant to make people more comfortable by providing a sort of guideline - what to wear for what occasion, what fork to use, who gets introduced to whom first - to reduce uncertainty about social situations and put people at ease. It is not meant as a way for some people to pretend they are superior to others. Those that act that way may know the rules but they don't understand the main idea behind them.

People have strong opinions on what is correct according to what they were taught growing up (try a discussion on whether or not to switch the hand holding the fork when eating meat if you want to test this with another topic) but I doubt that most of the people here who believe you should not wear a hat indoors would be rude enough to show any sign they noticed you were wearing a it if they were to see you in a restaurant. If you ask people what is considered polite, they will tell you but that doesn't mean they would have offered unsolicited opinions.

I find this thread amusing because of the fact that it's already 5 pages long and it's not even about a restaurant or food! I guess it just shows how this group just loves a heated discussion no matter what the subject. Fortunately everyone knows that most of our statements are made in fun and that we're all a pretty good group of people!

Shoulda been moved to the All about Louisville portion of forum. Go figure. Regardless, it's sure been fun. Just take off the hat. LOL.

Hats off line sounds fun to me. Now where did I put my Stetson?

Sure sounds like alot of defensive people if you ask me...that's why I haven't posted on here in over a year!!! I do still read all the snobby ,and hateful material spewed by some,but occasional someone on here actually makes some sense. This subject brought me out of the box,because i can't stand a bunch of snobs thinking they are better than everybody else.

Mike, maybe you need to try to understand this group a little more. What you read is not what you get in many cases. Many comments are written to get a rise out of someone and to make threads lively. Nothing is ever said in hate and with minor exceptions that aren't any snobs here either. Just a bunch of highly opinionated people who don't mind speaking what they think (or what they think they think)!

Mike R. is so right. The other thing is, none of us can point our finger at any one else, and not have those other fingers pointing back at ourselves. By the way, what happened to the guy who started this mess,urrr, discussion?

I always heard that a lady wearing a hat at dinner is a different matter altogether-not talking a ballcap here, but say, a cocktail or Derby hat. I was to understand that this is totall acceptable.

I believe that a lady does not wear a hat after 5 p.m. Hats are daytime dressing.

However, with the advent of the small "evening hat" that rule modified. An "evening hat" is small (much like the current day Fascinator) frequently jeweled or sequined and still shows off the lady's lovely hairdo.

It's been years since I read, cover to cover, Ms. Manner's Book of Excuiatingly Correct Behavior.

I can't find the quote but I remember her speaking of small hats with jewels and feathers that reminds one of a royal bird having moulted on the wearer's head. Couldn't stop laughing.