Amusing beer list

black beer scares most people.

So does deep water, thats why throwing them in it works for teaching them to swim. or they drown. Either way, problem solved.

black beer scares most people.

So does deep water, thats why throwing them in it works for teaching them to swim. or they drown. Either way, problem solved.

If it was only that easy...

black beer scares most people.

So does deep water, thats why throwing them in it works for teaching them to swim. or they drown. Either way, problem solved.

If it was only that easy...

Have you tried: "Listen ******, you are going to NABC with me tonight and you are going to drink what I order you!"?

Have you tried: "Listen ******, you are going to NABC with me tonight and you are going to drink what I order you!"?

That just might work. Then comes the small problem of getting home. If they are drinking what I'm drinking, we're not driving, legally anyway.

Man I just don't know with some people. I think some of it is people don't like being told what to drink.
I don't like being told I should drink Belgians because they are the greatest beers on the planet. All we can do is keep trying.

I agree with the "one drink of my beer" approach, but it just doesn't seem to work with all of them. I never said they wouldn't try anything new, they just never like it. I have been trying the one taste mrthod with my wife for ten years to no avail. The beers she dislikes the least seem to be Belgian, which I don't care for. I think most of the problem is that I am having them taste beers like Hoptimus, Alpha King, Two-Hearted, Centennial IPA and it is too much for their lite taste buds or maybe they just don't like hops. It is hard and an insult to recommend a beer that tastes like Bud lite.

Then stop giving them hops.

I mentioned gueuze as one many dont like, but I had one friend who basically wasnt a beer drinker who fell in love with it. She wont miss a lambic night (and isnt happy that Roger is moving it to Bank Street in the future, as that isnt her style of food). She recently, in a complete surprise to me, drank an entire pint of my homebrewed porter, because she liked its chocolatyness. It seemed completely outside of her taste boundaries but hey, I was wrong this time.

I personally found that in most cases the move from macro to good works better with dark beers than hoppy beers. Im a big believer in the deep end theory of learning, but brown ales, porters, stouts, dopplebocks, seems to be the proper deep end, not the hoppy deep end. I think it is that they are scary looking but then have familiar and comforting flavors (if not beer flavors that are familiar). Hops are a entirely new flavor profile. And I love a two-hearted. I just dont use it as starter teaching tool.

I ain't got a dog in this fight, as I'm more of a bourbon man that a beer man, though when I drink beer, I go with local, or craft. I don't drink mega, period.

That being said, I agree with Rob on this. I have numerous friends, including my wife (who luckily is a bourbon girl herself) who are eitther not beer drinkers or enjoy the mega-lite. I have been edging some of them (her mostly) into enjoying more, uh, quality beers. She's done well with darker beers, lambics, and various other sytles, but cannot do hops. No offense to Roger, but I had a Hoptimus the last time we ate at NABC and she almost spewed across the table (as did my partially converted father). It was just TOO much hops for them, though I loved it. Most of the newbies I know are like that - no hops, at least in the beginning.

I think in anything, bitterness is a flavor that takes time for which to develop a taste. It's the same with food, in my experience. In acquiring a taste for root vegetables, for example, start with sweet potaotes and carrots, and THEN ease into parsnips and beets, etc.

Anywho, if you're teaching someone to broaden their beer horizons, starting hoppy is a bad way to go, in my opinion. Let them get there. They probably will, but they need to see the rest of the offerings first.

Funny you said too much hops in the NABC Hoptimus. I don't find it hoppy enough! (and I've actually had a customer at Ray's tell me that). I've been meaning to talk to Roger about it. It is a solid brew, but with a name like Hoptimus, I'd make it really over the top.

I'll tell Roger all my secret ideas in private....

The Village Pourhouse website is about three and a half years old so I'm going to assume that the business is at least that old. You might disagree with the beers they choose to offer but I think they have an idea of what their customers want.

"""The macros don't sell at microbreweries because they are not offered."""

As I said they have been offered at several local micros. If they made mad money on them trust managament and owners, they would still be selling them.

Addressing the issue of my statement about macros not making a high profit margin. First I do not see any retail establishments making a living off just selling Bud or Miller alone. How much per hour are you paying the servers to serve those $3.50 beers, how much is rent for the space you are selling them in, how much is CO2 delivery, how much is a draft system to keep running and clean, how much is your elecrical bill, You are going to have to sell a whole lot of those $3.50 beers to pay your bills with just macros alone. Hey I could be wrong but I do not see a Miller Lite store on Bardstown Rd flying. If we are going to break out the calculator lets add up ALL the cost before we call a profit. Is money made sure but you gotta move a lot of product. The majority of venues I go to that have macros also sell food and have a full service bar. Lets compare that macro to an once of booze with a splash of mixer.

Huh? Chimay Tripel (blanc - white) is one of the best beers in the world!

You're saying that is for people who dislike beer? I don't think many beer geeks, including people on this forum like me or Roger or many others, would agree with you.

Bud lite is for people who want to look like they're drinking beer, but actually drink foul-tasting beer flavored water.

No Nimbus, actually what I was implying (in a round about way) was that a persons choice of alcoholic libation is just that...a personal choice. If you or any other "beer geek" want to include Chimay on your list of the "best beers in the world", well that's fine but please do so with the knowledge that doing so doesn't necessarily make you "right" and people who would disagree "wrong". It simply means that you have an opinion (something you are certainly entitled to).

In other words, if sniffing bottle caps and talking in hushed tones at the corner table while comparing the "finish" of the latest bourbon barrel-cask conditioned-pumpkin/raisin-rainbow-stout is your thing, then hell elevate that pinky finger, clink some glasses and have at it...On the other hand if a friend of mine wants to show up at my house with a 12 pack of "Bud" and proceed to swill a few cold ones on the screen porch, well that's fine too. Seriously, ya'll need to stop lumping people who make choices other than the ones you would make and/or promote as some kind of uneducated mouth breather.

<note: is it just me or am I in a really pissy mood today...must be the air out here in OKC>

The only things Bud Lite is suitable for are
1. Rinsing off homebrew equipment (it is fairly sanitary)
and
2. Getting drunk if it is the last beer on earth available.
and, I suppose
3. Throwing in the face of someone you really don't like.

I'm trying to think of more good uses...

It is a foul, wretched product, made by an evil nasty company. Bud is a significant step up from their lite product, but still pretty foul and pretty wretched.

It is like walking up to a chef at a good restaurant with a big mac in your hand. Or bringing a baker some wonder bread. Is the chef being a snob because of the big mac in your hand? No. He's probably just disgusted.

Swill is swill. And many of us know it.

Peace....

The only things Bud Lite is suitable for are
1. Rinsing off homebrew equipment (it is fairly sanitary)
and
2. Getting drunk if it is the last beer on earth available.
and, I suppose
3. Throwing in the face of someone you really don't like.

I'm trying to think of more good uses...

It is a foul, wretched product, made by an evil nasty company. Bud is a significant step up from their lite product, but still pretty foul and pretty wretched.

It is like walking up to a chef at a good restaurant with a big mac in your hand. Or bringing a baker some wonder bread. Is the chef being a snob because of the big mac in your hand? No. He's probably just disgusted.

Swill is swill. And many of us know it.

Peace....

So I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess A-B is not a significant campaign contributor ?

So let me ask you this...thumbs up or thumbs down...If A-B offered you one meeeeee-llion doah-lers to carry Bud Light...Would you ? Remember now, no pontificating (I got five bucks sez he can't do it) just a simple thumbs up or thumbs down. A million dollars from A-B to carry Bud Light.

The only things Bud Lite is suitable for are
1. Rinsing off homebrew equipment (it is fairly sanitary)
and
2. Getting drunk if it is the last beer on earth available.
and, I suppose
3. Throwing in the face of someone you really don't like.

I'm trying to think of more good uses...

It is a foul, wretched product, made by an evil nasty company. Bud is a significant step up from their lite product, but still pretty foul and pretty wretched.

It is like walking up to a chef at a good restaurant with a big mac in your hand. Or bringing a baker some wonder bread. Is the chef being a snob because of the big mac in your hand? No. He's probably just disgusted.

Swill is swill. And many of us know it.

Peace....

So I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess A-B is not a significant campaign contributor ?

So let me ask you this...thumbs up or thumbs down...If A-B offered you one meeeeee-llion doah-lers to carry their product...Would you ? Remember now, no pontificating just a simple thumbs up or thumbs down. For one million dollars.

Definite yes. Everyone has their price. With a million bucks I could fire up two or three awesome breweries and AB would have made a very very bad business decision. I guess I'd have to wait for their non-compete clause to run out (fine print....devil is in the details), then drop their product ASAP.

I went to school in Portland, and I was good friends with an early head brewer at Widmer. Bud came in, and offered thirty million for half of the brewery. You think they said no? No way. He retired at age 32.

But everyone in the know calls it Budmer now, just like Redhook is Budhook...(similar deal with them).

So I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess A-B is not a significant campaign contributor ?

So let me ask you this...thumbs up or thumbs down...If A-B offered you one meeeeee-llion doah-lers to carry their product...Would you ? Remember now, no pontificating just a simple thumbs up or thumbs down. For one million dollars.

Definite yes. Everyone has their price. With a million bucks I could fire up two or three awesome breweries and AB would have made a very very bad business decision. I guess I'd have to wait for their non-compete clause to run out (fine print....devil is in the details), then drop their product ASAP.

I went to school in Portland, and I was good friends with an early head brewer at Widmer. Bud came in, and offered thirty million for half of the brewery. You think they said no? No way. He retired at age 32.

But everyone in the know calls it Budmer now, just like Redhook is Budhook...(similar deal with them).

OK. Great. So would you carry their Bud Light if A-B promised to pay you just One Hundred Dollars ? Same deal...Thumbs up or thumbs down.

"""The macros don't sell at microbreweries because they are not offered."""

As I said they have been offered at several local micros. If they made mad money on them trust managament and owners, they would still be selling them.

Addressing the issue of my statement about macros not making a high profit margin. First I do not see any retail establishments making a living off just selling Bud or Miller alone. How much per hour are you paying the servers to serve those $3.50 beers, how much is rent for the space you are selling them in, how much is CO2 delivery, how much is a draft system to keep running and clean, how much is your elecrical bill, You are going to have to sell a whole lot of those $3.50 beers to pay your bills with just macros alone. Hey I could be wrong but I do not see a Miller Lite store on Bardstown Rd flying. If we are going to break out the calculator lets add up ALL the cost before we call a profit. Is money made sure but you gotta move a lot of product. The majority of venues I go to that have macros also sell food and have a full service bar. Lets compare that macro to an once of booze with a splash of mixer.

I'm not going to break down all the costs of doing business as they relate to every product being sold. It was just some simple math to show there is plenty of money in swill.

Rockbar, Hotel, Saddle Ridge, Howl at the Moon, and Pheonix Hill are making a killing off selling swill. I know they charge at least $4 and maybe $5 for macros. They aren't doing any or much food or craft beer. I think the best offering at Rockbar is Sam Adams. I don't know what they pay the beer tub girls, they might get away with the same minimum wage scam as restaurants do with servers.

Definite yes. Everyone has their price. With a million bucks I could fire up two or three awesome breweries and AB would have made a very very bad business decision. I guess I'd have to wait for their non-compete clause to run out (fine print....devil is in the details), then drop their product ASAP.

Excellent, that would have been my answer too. I am after all a filthy capitalist pig, but I do think it would be poetic to use their own money against them.

OK. Great. So would you carry their Bud Light if A-B promised to pay you just One Hundred Dollars ? Same deal...Thumbs up or thumbs down.

I'm typically a strong believer in the end justifying the means. In the 1 "meeelyun" dollars scenario, the end would be significantly better than than if they offered a hundred dollars, with the same amount of what I will henceforth refer to as "Faust Factor."

It's kind of like how the Democrats first cut the public option to appease the moderates, then cut the Medicare expansion to appease Lieberman, and won't allow the importation of prescription drugs because the White House is afraid of harming their tenuous agreement with big Pharm.

We all make compromises.

While losing 5% of customers by not carrying Bud makes perfect sense in my mind (I can't tell you how many places I've been to either don't carry beer I like or overcharge for it), turning down gobs and gobs of money that could be leveraged into significant gains for the craft brewing cause is definitely a more ambiguous moral decision.