do servers not listen anymore?

It seems some people only comment on poor Servers and never mention the good ones working their butts off on a daily basis. Unfortunately, people like to comment more on the bad than focus on the good.

I'm not sure that's at all accurate or fair. There are hundreds, if not more, mostly positive to glowing reviews of many restaurants in the area. I will agree, that over the last few weeks, negative reviews seem to outweigh positive (I don't have the time to verify that), but on the whole I truly believe that positive comments outweigh negative on this forum at least two to one. Further, there is a place for both here.

I think one thing to keep in mind, however, is that often people won't post multiple good experiences about the same place, to some extent to avoid beating the ol' dead horse. For example, this weekend we dined at Varanese and Westport General Store. Both meals, services, and experiences were A+. Nevertheless, I have already posted a glowing, in-depth review of WSG, and have at least made numerous postive comments about Varanese, so I neglected to post anything about those ventures (though I should post a quick thing about WSG - Will is a very thoughtful host, more in another thread).

In short, yes, negative experiences have and will continue to appear on Hotbytes - it's just part of the landscape. I 100% disagree that "people like to comment more on the bad than focus on the good." 90% or more of my dining choices come from people's postive reviews here, and trust me, I never have a shortage of dining options.

Wow! From a simple bad experience this thread has morphed into an interesting conversation with some insightful observations.

I think the interesting part has to do with the permanent but tenuous position servers hold in society. While the industry as a whole is ever-present, the individual server has very little stable ground to stand on. For this reason, they seem to be judged most harshly and devalued regularly. At the same time, they occupy a position such that they are able to exist between spaces (social, economic, power) such that they are able to provide societal commentary unavailable to the masses.

I'll go to the grave knowing that the 8 months I spent as a server were the most interesting as well as horrible 8 months of my life. The interesting observations I made as the "outsider" are priceless and did reshape my life. The lack of respect I received on a daily basis was demoralizing and telling.

For whats its worth, a recent trip to a popular Lou area breakfast joint ended up being a pretty bad experience do to the overwhelmingly bad service. (long story short,watched our food sit for over ten minutes while the server chatted it up with friends.I asked other servers if I could get the order,as it was to go,but was told I would have to wait for said server as it was her ticket.). The other side to this is recent trips to Bosna Mak, Jr's Bakery and Gyros,Vietnam Kitchen and the other Viet place on Strawberry lane have all been very enjoyable with what we noted to be an above and beyond level of customer service. I will note that at most of those places mentioned we were dealing with who I assume to be the owner or family member. I know the original topic here was servers not listening anymore,not so much bad service in general, but thats what it seems to have evolved into. My point is I have not noticed this dip in service at smaller lower $ joints. Even Sergio seems more cheery and attentive as of late.

EDIT to add that the lady at Jr's gave us a giant(like over a foot across and at least 5 inches thick) pretzel shaped loaf of bread for free after we popped our heads in the kitchen to let her know how much we enjoyed our meal.

It seems some people only comment on poor Servers and never mention the good ones working their butts off on a daily basis. Unfortunately, people like to comment more on the bad than focus on the good.

I don't think that's true at all. I think it's an example of what they told us when I was training for a Customer Service position just out of high school; "A customer who has a good experience will tell one or two people, and a customer who has a bad experience will tell EVERYONE."

I've seen several positive reviews of both restaurants and staff, and they barely get any comments, while the bad reviews seem to go on for pages. It's not that there are no positive reviews, it's just that they don't generate as much interest as the negative ones do.

Wow! From a simple bad experience this thread has morphed into an interesting conversation with some insightful observations.

I'll go to the grave knowing that the 8 months I spent as a server were the most interesting as well as horrible 8 months of my life. The interesting observations I made as the "outsider" are priceless and did reshape my life. The lack of respect I received on a daily basis was demoralizing and telling.

I hear ya there my brutha. I began working in a restaurant when I was 14 years old and kept that job all thorough high school. If nothing else it was certainly a picture window through which to observe the human experience.

It's kinda funny we are having this conversation...I recently stopped into the restaurant where I worked as a teenager in order to congratulate the head cook/manager who was "celebrating" his 44th year (!!!!) in that position. Back in "the day" his biggest employee related headaches were pretty much limited to keeping the Led Zeppelin we were listening to in the kitchen at a low enough volume that it didn't carry over into the dining room...That and chasing us out of our cars when we would sneak out there to hit the ol' hash pipe. I asked Dwight if those were still has biggest headaches and he just rolled his eyes and replied "Gawd, if you only knew". I take that as a "no".

I go out of my way to be polite to servers, especially after observing people (in my own family) who amuse themselves by being nasty and demeaning to them. I just don't get it....

I go out of my way to be polite to servers, especially after observing people (in my own family) who amuse themselves by being nasty and demeaning to them. I just don't get it....

Michelle, you make a great point. Waaaay too many restaurant patrons seem to get a kick out of treating their servers like they are below them. It's a cheap thrill for people I guess. For that reason, I too am usually exceedingly nice and polite to our servers. In fact, I always feel like I might be laying it on too thick, but I just want to be very clear that I appreciate their hard work (my 20% tip reflects that as well), and am not one of the mean people.

Having come late to this discussion, my perception is that this is not only pertinant to servers but our Younger citizens in general. They text, IM, E-Mail, Facebook, My Space and Twitter all day long and have no personal communication skills. They are used to LOL OMG and ROFLMAO that they do not understand an oral request for anything. Societal trends are pushing all our work force in this direction.
Ever ask an employee to use a ruler or a Measuring cup? You might be supprised

My Kopec for the day

I'm glad people disagree with my opinion about others focusing on the negative. My point is positive reviews should be heard by more than the one or two people. The negative threads can still exist, fine. I've no qualms about it. I want to see stories and discussions of places where the service is splendid.

I'm glad people disagree with my opinion about others focusing on the negative. My point is positive reviews should be heard by more than the one or two people. The negative threads can still exist, fine. I've no qualms about it. I want to see stories and discussions of places where the service is splendid.

You can't MAKE people comment on threads. There are plenty of positive reviews about restaurants being great, and perfect service, but nobody comments on them. They read them, maybe store that place in the back of their minds as a place to try, then they move along.

The negative reviews, on the other hand, get tons of comments because people chime in with their bad experiences/opinions, as well. It's just human nature. You don't tell your friends about the nondescript person driving their car down the expressway, you tell them about the drunk person driving backwards, the wrong way on the expressway, as it makes for a better, more interesting story.

[Robin Garr]

Having come late to this discussion, my perception is that this is not only pertinant to servers but our Younger citizens in general. They text, IM, E-Mail, Facebook, My Space and Twitter all day long

Hmm. I'm a graying Baby Boomer, and I do most of that.

and have no personal communication skills.

D'oh!

just maybe the bad service is more prevalent these days.

Well, I don't agree with this statement either, at least from personal experience. Over the past two years, let's say, I would guess I've had a bad service experience once for every ten or fifteen good or excellent service experiences. Your mileage may vary.

You can't MAKE people comment on threads.

I never said ANYTHING about making people do a thing. And, I'd appreciate it if you not put words into my mouth.

I believe a lot of it is a societal trend. People (especially younger people) no longer know how to communicate with people right in front of them. Look, I'm only 32, and do all of the social networking sites for fun, but I can still be nice to people and smile, and chat them up. I work in a cosmetic practice. I smile at patients, greet them, and stand up when they come in to give them their paper work. But I'll go to someplace like Target, Walmart, even my own Drs. office and people are SO unfriendly. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to Target and since I swipe my own card not even get a "thank you" or a "did you find everything ok." It's pathetic.
Since we're sharing positives..I had a fairly bad experience at McAlisters recently. Waited over 30 min for food, and when my Dad went up to ask what happened, it took at least another 4 min. for it to come out. We could see it sitting in the window, it was cold by the time we got it. However, I complained to mgmt. and they were very responsive. I got a call from the Mgr. Tracy apologizing, and he gave us free meal tix for our next visit. I'm not expecting that everything goes right every time. But at least they made the effort to make it right.

Having come late to this discussion, my perception is that this is not only pertinant to servers but our Younger citizens in general. They text, IM, E-Mail, Facebook, My Space and Twitter all day long and have no personal communication skills. They are used to LOL OMG and ROFLMAO that they do not understand an oral request for anything. Societal trends are pushing all our work force in this direction.
Ever ask an employee to use a ruler or a Measuring cup? You might be supprised

My Kopec for the day

I'm having trouble imagining how these people are conducting personal communication on these communication mediums when they have "no personal communication skills."