OK, I get that we're in a recession, but I need a pep talk.

Michelle- here's where I think you're missing the point:

You keep talking about a tip being earned, not given. You also routinely note, that it sounds to you like I earn my tips by working hard (you'd be right about that). So, presuming that i work hard, then shouldn't I be absolutely in the right to be offended by a less than 15% tip? I guess what I mean is (in a much nicer way than this will sound) well, duh. Of course a tip is earned not given. I know this, and work hard because of it, so it's a moot point and doesn't really have anything to do with this particular discussion. I'm talking about customers who receive decidedly good service, and leave less tip because "times are bad" in spite of probably ordering beyond their means. If you want to start a thread about lazy servers who do a bad job, then bitch about not getting 20% go for it! Heck, I'd agree with how annoying that is myself! But I just don't see what it's adding to this particular discussion.

Jeremy, you're absolutely right! My apologies. I guess my view was clouded by the fact that I know a couple of people who have had to take paycuts or have lost jobs due to the recession, and upon first glance, your post looked like "just another waiter complaining about crappy tips." After our little pm session, I know that to be untrue. You did get stiffed. That really sucks. The people responsible should be embarrassed. It would never even enter my mind to leave less than 20% when service has been good, and more when it has been great.

That being said, I think a lot of us who patronize restaurants have had servers who feel entitled to their 20%, and don't feel they have to earn it, plus the threads you see online where it's just pages and pages of waiters complaining about crappy tips, well, frankly, as a patron, it's a turnoff. Again, this is no reflection on YOU, just wanting you to understand where I was coming from.

I totally sympathize with you, and I know pretty much (not exactly, since I'm not in the service industry) where you're coming from. There have been a few instances in my life where I felt I went above and beyond, and was rewarded with basically, a slap in the face. The economy sucks right now. Unfortunately, you're going to get more cheapskates. Put a smile on your face while you silently curse at them, and be super-duper extra special nice to the next guy, and perhaps, Karma will reward you. If not, let the air out of the bastard's tires!

May all your future customers be super-wealthy, non-cheapskates who throw around $100 bills like they're $1's! Seriously. You guys have my respect. I wouldn't put up with half of what you have to. I'd get arrested.

I agree, I don't go out unless I can tip the 20%. But Jeremy try this. Go to the library and look up the book Yes! by Robert Cialdini. He's the dude who wrote Influence. Read chapter 11: Why Restaurants Should Ditch The MInts if you don't read the entire book. As a former server for 610 and opening manager of Deitrich's I'm always interested in what motivates people. Let me know what you think. Hope it helps. CD

There have been more times than I care to mention when I haven't been given good service because I am a "woman"; hence, the perception that the tip will not be as generous. Big mistake on the server's part .... BIG mistake.

This reminds of me of something I encounter. I am from the south end, and I dress as though I'm from the south end. And I when I go to particular east end restaurants, I sometimes get the "lesser service" because the server can tell I am not their regular east-end clientele. Again, BIG mistake, as I always leave a reasonable tip. Of course, if I'm not treated particularly well, it will be the minimum reasonable tip.

I am from the south end, and I dress as though I'm from the south end

I am curious how someone from the south end dresses.

I am from the south end, and I dress as though I'm from the south end

I am curious how someone from the south end dresses.

Didn't you get the memo that they have to wear shirts with "Southie" emblazoned on it?
I'm on the east end so I only wear cocktail dresses and tiaras.
Sorry,just trying to add a little levity to a heavy post!

I am from the south end, and I dress as though I'm from the south end

I am curious how someone from the south end dresses.

As am I. I used to live in Okolona. I think that is in the south end. I wear the same things here (1 miles East of the Snyder on KY22) as I did then. Levis and tees. Well, the occasional dress slacks and button down shirt. Do different areas of the Ville now have their own dress code? Wow, LEO and Velocity need to hop all over this. Carla, where are you?

Yeah Doogy, I think you're onto something which may explain why I have been asked to move to Arkansas.

Yeah Doogy, I think you're onto something which may explain why I have been asked to move to Arkansas.

Please don't. Of course if you do, we can still do it all on the web.

I'm not rich and I don't really go to expensive restaurants, but wherever I do go, I always tip 20% if the service is good. I'm really bad at math, so I carry one of those stupid little tip cards with me, and I always round up, so if the total is $24.50, I'll tip on $25.00.
I can only think of a couple of times where I've tipped less, and that was for really bad service.
I have also experienced the "women are bad tippers" mentality, which I don't think is true in my case.
When I go someplace regularly, I try to tip more during the holidays, as kind of a thank you to the server for putting up with me all year. (I can be a pain, since I have "requests", such as "I'll have such and such without the cheese.")
So, for example, on Thursday I left a 36% tip and today at lunch I left a 56% tip.
In addition to the tip, I try to be nice and accomodating to the server. For example, if I can see that the server is super busy, and maybe I have to wait a little while to get my check or something, I'm still going to leave a proper tip. And I always say thank you for everything.
I don't know why anyone would not know that you should give at least a 15% tip. (Well, ok, my mother doesn't know this, but that's because she's of an old-fashioned generation and thinks that $1 is great-totally embarrassing).

Ellen- I love that you say you are bad at math but can come up with 36% and 56% at the drop of a hat. I wish I were that numerically challenged.

I only give good service to those who are clearly from the east end, and if I can't tell, I'm sure to card them so I can double check the zip code...otherwise it's a waste of my time.

And Ellen- Women don't have a reputation for tipping bad...it's GROUPS of women...

OK as a woman I must stand up and ....
totally agree with Jeremy about groups of women being bad tippers. At least it was true 30 years ago. There were some professions that were bad tippers as well. Teachers were seldom good tippers. The one that really bugged me were hair dressers. Notoriously bad tippers and they live on tips as well!



(All data and opinions were compiled from actual, clinical work experience based on the clientele from east end establishments JR's Place and Flaherty's. Opinions expressed here in do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this forum or the forum host. )

Hey, Gary-that's what computers are for!

And Ellen- Women don't have a reputation for tipping bad...it's GROUPS of women...

and groups of teachers (I can say this because I am one). I always tip 20% or more--Doug always tips more. Coming from a server background, I always try to keep in mind that my server could be having a bad day.

Also, Jeremy, I think you have every right to be perturbed about your tips. Being proud of how hard you worked doesn't pay the bills.

Hey, Gary-that's what computers are for!

Well, if you are going to go all techie on me- fine.