To complain, or not to complain, that is THE question

just wanted to add that this is a really good discussion.....enjoying it....

Back when I was involved in a restaurant, we really wanted to know if anything were wrong. We knew that - if someone has a bad experience, for whatever reason (and it happens at the best places) we had likely lost them, but if we were told about it, we could (1) compensate them in some way, and while to an earlier point we might still lose them they wouldn't rush out and tell all of their friends of a bad experience, and (2) we could correct things so future customers wouldn't have similar problems. What really scared us were the customers that had a problem and never told management about it.

To an earlier comment, no matter how often you walk a room, you will never find out that a waiter bad-mouthed the restaurant, or an item was going bad, or a sauce was too salty unless someone told you (or unless you tasted each item each shift, which in management I spot tasted but did not try everything, as I left that to the kitchen staff & chef, and that still didn't stop things like an inexperienced saute chef from adding more salt to a fish that was destined to be served with a salty caper sauce - which we discovered only after a customer complained that it was too salty and we were able to trace the cause).

Back when I was involved in a restaurant, we really wanted to know if anything were wrong. We knew that - if someone has a bad experience, for whatever reason (and it happens at the best places) we had likely lost them, but if we were told about it, we could (1) compensate them in some way, and while to an earlier point we might still lose them they wouldn't rush out and tell all of their friends of a bad experience, and (2) we could correct things so future customers wouldn't have similar problems. What really scared us were the customers that had a problem and never told management about it.

To an earlier comment, no matter how often you walk a room, you will never find out that a waiter bad-mouthed the restaurant, or an item was going bad, or a sauce was too salty unless someone told you (or unless you tasted each item each shift, which in management I spot tasted but did not try everything, as I left that to the kitchen staff & chef, and that still didn't stop things like an inexperienced saute chef from adding more salt to a fish that was destined to be served with a salty caper sauce - which we discovered only after a customer complained that it was too salty and we were able to trace the cause).

This is a really good post. This post shows why it is sometimes good to talk to a manager--because they just don't know what's not right.

For relatively shy people, however, it's a pretty big deal to say to a waitperson, "I want to talk to a manager." I mean, that's pretty tense. Already the evening has not been what you were hoping for, and to add to that complaining to a manager? For some people that's not a big deal. But I ask those outgoing people out there to understand that for shy people that is a fairly big deal. Also, there is that stereotype of the rude big shot who asks to talk to the manager at the drop of a hat. Finally, sometimes it's not like there's something that was huge that was wrong, but a series of little things. Any one of them isn't a big deal, but add them up and you might not want to go there again.

It costs a fair amount of money to go out. Reading reviews here is a great way to pick independent restaurants at a variety of price points. But if the reviews, amateur and professional, are not allowed to tell it like it is without first oking it with a manager, I feel that something has been lost.

But Stephen D. in an earlier post makes a point that people's livelihoods are at stake, and that sometimes a bad review, even an amateur review, might have something of an impact. Even if an experience isn't up to par, usually it is a good idea to try to find a way to say that nicely, and also to say that's just your experience and maybe they just had a bad day with your table. But still, I think if the reviews aren't allowed to be honest more has been lost than has been gained, imho.

I'm adding this as a response to a post in another thread by Marc R, bc I don't want to perpetuate the most recent CQ thread, but I can't help it. My husband is distracted by his playstation...

What sticks in my craw is the comment that one "should" make a bigger issue of a bad. While I would, I would stop short of telling someone what they "should" do. It creates an environment of protocol that is randomly enforced, allowing some people to tell it like it is, and "invalidating" the points of others.

Logic fails to dictate, along with personal experience, that one's dining experience will be enhanced in any way by complaining or staying quiet. So I'm still torn, and gratified that I am not the only one who feels that way. I like the idea of personal responsibility as foodies, but that might be the olde-school libertarian in me... I guess I also can't resist jumping in when someone tells another what they Should Do. I firmly plant the flag in personal choice country, along the border with free speech land.

I'm adding this as a response to a post in another thread by Marc R, bc I don't want to perpetuate the most recent CQ thread, but I can't help it.
What sticks in my craw is the comment that one "should" make a bigger issue of a bad. While I would, I would stop short of telling someone what they "should" do. It creates an environment of protocol that is randomly enforced, allowing some people to tell it like it is, and "invalidating" the points of others.

Maybe should was a poor choice of words but how can you expect a restaurant to improve if management is not aware of their failures. Where you work your bosses would tell you if you are doing something wrong rather than just firing you because "you have been doing everything wrong" wouldn't they? The same thing applies to restaurants. If you and others stop showing up they don't know what they're doing wrong. They need feedback to improve like anyone or any business does, why she restaurants be any different.

Can't argue with that logic, Mark! Just don't want anyone getting stomped on, as has been done, for not taking it upon themselves to correct another's mistakes.

Reading this thread leaves me with the impression restaurant managers have no other means to measure their quality and level of service other than feedback from their customers. I agree that customer feedback is important in any business, but other businesses/industries seem to have numerous means to measure performance in addition to feedback. Now a question to the ITBers: Aside from financial reports, how do you gauge how your restaurant is performing?
Bill

Reading this thread leaves me with the impression restaurant managers have no other means to measure their quality and level of service other than feedback from their customers. I agree that customer feedback is important in any business, but other businesses/industries seem to have numerous means to measure performance in addition to feedback. Now a question to the ITBers: Aside from financial reports, how do you gauge how your restaurant is performing?
Bill

That's an awesome question, Bill and there are more techniques than stars in the sky (and older, more-qualified people than me to answer it, but here's some off the top of my head:)

Service:

a) Body language of the guests- are they generally bound-up, giving knowing glances at each other when the server walks away from the table? Do thier shoulders drop? Or do they laughingly engage with the server (even when told bad news like 'we're out of [x]) at ease with the experience.

b) The number of 'pulls-' when the guest takes time, on thier way out of the door to tell you that thier server was the best they've ever had, calling them by name and promising to return and request thier tables.

c) The prebussed-dish test- When you walk through the dining room, are there dirty dishes on tables and glasses more than half empty. And to what degree? There is no greater indication of server professionalism than a clean table going into the dessert course. And nothing encourages dessert and coffee more than a clean palette, beggin to be painted on.

Kitchen:

a) Look at what is thrown away, what people aren't eating or taking home. Less is more, and you usually will see a trend of items you might want to consider changing or improving. Jim would stand at the dish area on a new menu rollout and inspect each plate as it came back. Genius.

b) Look around you at the other restaurant's menus. Are you too cookie cutter, too exotic, or that perfect blend of the two that maximizes guest interest? This, of course is site specific, but a good idea, nonetheless. Would you like this menu? Or better yet, would your grandmother? Balance is good.

c) Work the expo window, from time-to-time, at least. It gives you the best view of the kitchen and how it runs in a rush. You get to see the food going out and you can pay attention to cooking practices. Green beans like to come out cold? Smaller batches, sautee. The new fry-guy dragging too much? He probably needs coaching on basket management. Desserts having execution issues? Think about a reorganization of the station...

Bar:

a) Do people seem to not wanna leave? Is there the chatter amongst strangers that is the hallmark of the best? The body language of the barstaff is incredibly important. Barcraft 401: they will always point at guests, smile, laugh at ease, shake hands, etc.

b) You'll get 'pulls' and you'll also see some drinks being made you've never seen before. This means people think your barstaff is talented enough to make a drink they don't normally ask for or, even better yet, throw themselves on the whim of the bartender.

c) Cleanliness- If your barstaff begins pulling out coolers to clean behind them on a slow night, you have people who care about what they are doing. If they are that worried about dust bunnies and broken bits of beer bottles, imagine how much they care about the guest.

There, of course are the topics of Host Department and Facillity Management, but I do think that I have used up my word quota. We can do that another time.

Stephen D: Great post. What place do you work at again? Sounds like a place to try....

Nice post, Stephen, thanks for the insight.

Everyone is different and will react in a way that fits them best. We tend to paint with a broad brush and try too hard to make absolutes for others. My personal preference when I have a deal breaker of an issue is to get up from my table saying I'm going to the restroom and then seek the highest level person to advise of the problem. It takes my dining companions out of the issue and deals with the problem privately. All through my career the number one instruction on dealing with any issue has been to deal with it in private, to diminish defensiveness and improve communication. No one needs to keep up a facade to match the situation.

It's worked well for me and we end the conversation on a good note.

My personal creed is to not take comps on anything. Times are tough enough as it is and it dilutes your partnership. We need each other to survive.