Yikes, what was I thinking?

When my wife and I were first dating, she had a terrible habit of answering her cell-phone at the table, but only if it was one of her sisters or parents. Her justification was always, "Well, maybe something bad happened." She talks to each of them at least once a day, sometimes more, so my retort was always that an evening call from her family was not an unexpected thing. If I got a call from an aunt I never talk to on the phone, I might jump to the conclusion that it was pretty important, but not a sister I speak with daily. Either way, she has stopped that for the most part, and if she absolutely feels the need to answer the phone, she'll step outside or to the bar area.

Unfortunately, with the advent of Blackberrys, etc., I do occasionally find myself checking email or a sports score under the table during a meal. I am and continue to try to break myself of that, but it's a battle. It's not as intrusive or annoying as answering ringing phones (well, maybe it is to those you're dining with), but it's still bad table etiquette. Growing up, my parents forbid answering the (land-line) phone during meals, and it has stuck with me.

My favorite is when they're on the phone and at a point in the conversation while the other person is talking they don't pay attention and mouth a drink order to you. This may be considered a poor service trait by some of you, but I will not approach a table if someone is on a phone. I wait until they are off.

Matt- The internet is too big to take things personally, and I really think we probably agree about a lot, but just have some different ideals in certain aspects of the service industry. I think if we ever meet face to face the conversation will be spirited, friendly and entertaining.

Okay, I have to jump in on the cell phone thing. I think that it is incredibly rude to mouth an order to a server/bartender/host while on the phone and I love any establishment that posts a sign that discourages the usage of cell phones. I agree with Jeremy, I tend to not approach when someone is on the phone and when they get off and look impatiently at me as if I am being impolite, I always say, very sweetly, " Sorry for your wait. I didn't want to interrupt your conversation" and smile politely while I take their order. Sometimes they get the message and other times they are completely oblivious.

I come across this kind of thing all the time where I work. Jeremy, I don't think it's a service flaw, AT ALL!

That is just rude! I tend to go about my business until they are done with their phone call. I'm sorry, but mouthing a drink order? Really? Could they be a little more inconsiderate? In the industry I'm in, we tend to have people who talk on their cellphones incessantly. I'm in the lobby of my place of business, and we have folks who go into the restroom and use their phones while doing their "business," and they talk so loudly, I can hear them at my desk.

We have "no cell phones" signs posted in every nook and cranny of the lobby, to no avail, and to top it off, there are 2 ON MY DESK, and folks still stand AT my desk and talk about all their personal business, as loudly as possible on their cell! I've heard about prostate surgeries, colonoscopies, hysterectomies, divorces, you name it.

The best part is the "gentleman" who used to walk up to my desk, knock over one of the signs, and lean over my desk, about a foot from my face, and yell on his cell phone. He would always have this smug look on his face that said "I just DARE you to say a word to me." Finally, I went to my boss, and he suddenly stopped acting like a jerk.

Yep, the cell phones are out of control.

What IS it about a cell phone that makes us feel like we have to talk louder to be heard? I know the technology is there so we don't have to yet we do it anyway. Is it a way to make ourselves bigger, more assertive? A "HEAR ME!" sort of thing?

Cell phones, in my humble opinion, have become a necessary evil. I've toyed with doing away with my house phone all together because the only calls I get on it these days are solicitations. However, I must agree that people riding on an elevator with other should not use one; people dining should not use it; people watching a movie in a public theatre should not use it; and people driving should not use it. OH, and lest we forget, walking around the grocery store chatting away on the cell phone while your little ones are running amuck in the store.......O M G

At least once a week I get *almost* mowed over by someone either talking on, or TEXTING on their cell phone while driving. When did this kind of thing become acceptable, let alone, the norm?

I
Does any restaurant in Louisville have this policy?

DEb

The only local restaurant where i have noticed a "no hand phone" policy is August Moon.

What IS it about a cell phone that makes us feel like we have to talk louder to be heard? I know the technology is there so we don't have to yet we do it anyway. Is it a way to make ourselves bigger, more assertive? A "HEAR ME!" sort of thing?

Reminds me of the "Kenny Tarmac" character on the "Bob & Tom Show" -- i.e., the guy at the airport who's always on the cell phone and everyone within 30 feet can hear him.

My favorite is when they're on the phone and at a point in the conversation while the other person is talking they don't pay attention and mouth a drink order to you. This may be considered a poor service trait by some of you, but I will not approach a table if someone is on a phone. I wait until they are off.

Matt- The internet is too big to take things personally, and I really think we probably agree about a lot, but just have some different ideals in certain aspects of the service industry. I think if we ever meet face to face the conversation will be spirited, friendly and entertaining.

i ahere to this policy as well

Cell phones are a scourge and should not be allowed in a restaurant. I like the idea of phones on vibrate, and a person going to the lobby to answer the phone. ( Just plain good manners) I think that overall we have a generation that either wasn't taught manners, or has forgotten to use them. Don't get me wrong, a lot of people still have manners, but many are lacking in this area. As far as the server sitting at the table or kneeling and chatting, I have come across people describing this as trying to build a friendly relationship with the customer that will want them to come back. While I worked at Panera Bread, we were instructed to be friendly and casual in conversation. The menu item choices were such that people would sometimes feel stressed trying to decide and the casual conversation about what they were hungry for, and being friendly were meant to relax them. Back to the table side visits, I am undecided about whether I like this type of service or not. Some people can do this and I feel comfortable and enjoy their visit. Others seem to not do so well and just creep me out. Some people like this and some don't. Some people liked going to a restaurant where the servers messed with you the whole time. I guess it is getting to be just as complex as our choices are becoming when make our selections on what we are going to eat.

I agree Doogy, and you pointed out something for me to remember. I am getting older, and time are always changing. I can either adapt and move on, or not adapt, pine for the "good ole days", and end up a bitter person. I try to adapt, but some of the changes are harder, especially as I get older. And for the record, the "good ole days" weren't really all that great either. Cell phones are good, just not in a restaurant.

I love my cell phone, and have become fond of texting on occasion, I'm crazy about the wi-fi and all my apps on my I-Touch, but I turn them all to silent or off when I'm in a social or business situation. It really isn't that hard. The people I'm with are much more important to me than the machine.
I've been told that there are places in SF and Chicago that block cell phone signals- sounds like a bit of heaven to me- at least in a dining situation.

you are correct Doogy, but there is no reason that new technology has to have a negative impact on "face to face" communication, we as a society are just hashing out the new social norms of acceptable behavior while utilizing this technology
you really aren't advocating the use of cell phones while engaging in social situations requiring face to face communication, are you? you can always text your order from the table and eliminate the need for a server completely..., a small train can deliver your drinks, food, and check....

and i'll just throw this out there, i do not own a cell phone and honestly cherish those few moments of absolute isolation which occur while i'm driving - and i am online far more often than i am on the phone

shawn

I agree Doogy, it's going to happen no matter how much they intrude on our lives. Look at all the press and laws enacted to keep people from using cell phones while they drive and they SILL use them. It's another case where a great number of people think they are the exception to the rule. (" I can drive and talk OK. It's all those other people that's a problem.") Want another scary thought? Restaurant owners, ask your food reps if they use their laptops while they drive. A bunch of them do.