What's your hot button for a restaurant?

I really liked the way you constructed your inquiry, Carla. Too bad the conversation somehow - imagine that! - became another "pet peeves" thread.

I was kind of hoping it would swing in the other direction. Along the lines of "You know you're going to have a good meal when..." sort of thing. I started thinking this way as I was waiting to meet an appointment at Coco Locos. The very attentive server offered me something to drink while I waited. I got a soft drink it was nice and 'syrupy" (not diluted with soda water). I thought , "Nice! Good job. Gotta come back and stay longer!"

Sounds like Cokos is doing it right.

I think you are on to something here, as well...

For me:

It's about the intitial greet from the host(ess), server or bartender. Be genuinely happy to see me (or appear to be.) Eye contact, the smile, the handshake. You get that right- make me feel welcome- and you can do no wrong. Mis-rings, cold food, shoot- an anvil can fall on my table and I don't care. We'll play through the hiccups and laugh about it later.

I really liked the way you constructed your inquiry, Carla. Too bad the conversation somehow - imagine that! - became another "pet peeves" thread.

I was kind of hoping it would swing in the other direction. Along the lines of "You know you're going to have a good meal when..." sort of thing. I started thinking this way as I was waiting to meet an appointment at Coco Locos. The very attentive server offered me something to drink while I waited. I got a soft drink it was nice and 'syrupy" (not diluted with soda water). I thought , "Nice! Good job. Gotta come back and stay longer!"

This response makes me think of my response. I wonder if I notice attentive host/hostess service, or if I have just trained myself to focus on the negatives. As a writing teacher, I face the challenge of convincing people (including students) that I don't just pick up student papers to search for what is wrong in the paper. I actually read (honestly!) for what the student author has done well. I'm sitting here wondering if I do the same thing with restaurants. Do I consciously notice satisfactory or exceptional hosting/hostessing? Do I arrive at the restaurant expecting the worst, and notice when that's what I get?

I don't have the answers, but I am intrigued with my own behavior and, especially, my lacking awareness of it.

I really liked the way you constructed your inquiry, Carla. Too bad the conversation somehow - imagine that! - became another "pet peeves" thread.

I was kind of hoping it would swing in the other direction. Along the lines of "You know you're going to have a good meal when..." sort of thing. I started thinking this way as I was waiting to meet an appointment at Coco Locos. The very attentive server offered me something to drink while I waited. I got a soft drink it was nice and 'syrupy" (not diluted with soda water). I thought , "Nice! Good job. Gotta come back and stay longer!"

This response makes me think of my response. I wonder if I notice attentive host/hostess service, or if I have just trained myself to focus on the negatives. As a writing teacher, I face the challenge of convincing people (including students) that I don't just pick up student papers to search for what is wrong in the paper. I actually read (honestly!) for what the student author has done well. I'm sitting here wondering if I do the same thing with restaurants. Do I consciously notice satisfactory or exceptional hosting/hostessing? Do I arrive at the restaurant expecting the worst, and notice when that's what I get?

I don't have the answers, but I am intrigued with my own behavior and, especially, my lacking awareness of it.

Self-editing. Nice.

Like those Russian box-in-a-box weeble-wobbles. Or looking into a mirror with a mirror at your back.

I'm getting dizzy!

Ah, I misunderstood the question.

Naw it wasn't you Kyle, I just didn't make myself clear. Typing and thinking at the same time just isn't my forte!

It's all about the attitude of the first person who greets you. And I I say "thank you," and that person says "no problem," there's a problem.

Ok, I'll bite. What is the problem?

The problem is that the proper response to "thank you" is "you're welcome".

... Perhaps I should have been more explicit. While I understand perfectly well that the formal, standardized, "proper" Miss Manners response to "thank you" is "you're welcome", why is saying "no problem" a problematic transgression of polite interaction? Manners doesn't have to be this arcane system of statements and rote responses where only very specific words are acceptable.

It's not like they're saying "whatever, dude" or "up yours!" Though if someone actually did voice a problem with a friendly "no problem" from me, "whatever, dude" is exactly what I would be thinking if not exactly expressed verbally.

It's all about the attitude of the first person who greets you. And I I say "thank you," and that person says "no problem," there's a problem.

You're not alone, but according to this article, it's actually more cultural and generational than attitudinal:

..."The traditional English language response is 'You're welcome,' i.e., 'Yes, I did something for you, but you sure deserved it," Peter said. "The traditional Romance language response is something like 'De nada'/'It's nothing,' i.e., 'What little I did for you is not worthy of acknowledgment.' In both cases, the thankee is trying to relieve the thanker of any sense of obligation. It sounds 'off' when the Romance formulation is used in English, but if it's meant sincerely, I think it's just as good."...

That said, when I hear anything besides "you're welcome" I still cringe. I'll blame the nuns for that.

You're welcome.

It's all about the attitude of the first person who greets you. And I I say "thank you," and that person says "no problem," there's a problem.

You're not alone, but according to this article, it's actually more cultural and generational than attitudinal:

..."The traditional English language response is 'You're welcome,' i.e., 'Yes, I did something for you, but you sure deserved it," Peter said. "The traditional Romance language response is something like 'De nada'/'It's nothing,' i.e., 'What little I did for you is not worthy of acknowledgment.' In both cases, the thankee is trying to relieve the thanker of any sense of obligation. It sounds 'off' when the Romance formulation is used in English, but if it's meant sincerely, I think it's just as good."...

That said, when I hear anything besides "you're welcome" I still cringe. I'll blame the nuns for that.

You're welcome.

No, THANK YOU, Steve.
And, when did "there you go" replace a simple Thank You?

Thank you for reading this post. I tried to keep it short so not much of your time is spent reading this foolishness.
Redwinger

I had no idea this was such an issue. I guess I need to be more careful, I usually return a "thank you" with something more colloquial and sometimes even a "thank you (for doing business with us)" in return.

"You're welcome" it is!

I haven't really been following this thread too closely, so forgive me if this has already been mention but "people of a certain age" get REALLY pissed off when you call them "hon" or "sweetie" (etc). It's not really one of my "hot buttons" (although I will admit to becoming a little perturbed after the 12th or 13th time someone says "more tea hon") but I have known people (my 76 y.o. mother for instance) to leave NO tip after a round of "hons and sweeties".

When a server can immediately gauge my pace for my meal. We like to sip cocktails while thinking about what we want to eat and if they are good, they pick that up without me having to pace my own meal. This is when I can relax and just enjoy my meal. These are the places I return to for my marathon dinners.


Also, I am a lefty and apparently can not retain body heat. Sometimes this makes me a difficult person to seat for dinner. If a hostess can be polite and not make me feel like I just sprouted two heads when I ask for a possible alternative table then this also makes me super happy. A good, polite hostess makes a good restaurant experience.

One of my bigger gripes is a restaurant not being ready and willing to serve customers during the stated hours of operation. For example, if the place opens at 5:00, that means they are not still vacuuming the carpet, stocking the ice machine, setting tables, etc. etc. And, if they close at 10:00, that doesn't mean they started wiping down the bar with the bleach rag at 9:00, vacuuming the carpets (again), servers getting anxious to get the heck out of there, etc, etc. The diner who eats at 5:00 or 10:00 should have the same experience as one who eats at 7:00 or 8:00 without all of the distractions.

I haven't really been following this thread too closely, so forgive me if this has already been mention but "people of a certain age" get REALLY pissed off when you call them "hon" or "sweetie" (etc). It's not really one of my "hot buttons" (although I will admit to becoming a little perturbed after the 12th or 13th time someone says "more tea hon") but I have known people (my 76 y.o. mother for instance) to leave NO tip after a round of "hons and sweeties".

When I need my "sweetie" or "hon" fix, Waffle House is the place to go !

Well yeah, I can agree with all those but I meant what one little tip-off that might be a clue or an indicator that things may go awry.( By the time you've gotten your bill you know what kind of meal you've had) I'sy I didn't make myself more clear.

Lighting. If you walk into a restaurant and the lighting is way too bright for the time of day, someone isn't paying attention. Also, burned out bulbs all over the place tells me that the management is either lazy or completely unaware.

Overwhelming bathroom odor in the entryway. And I don't mean bad smelling odors, but the overwhelming smell of anticeptic. A lot of mexican concepts seem to have this problem for some reason. While I am happy to know the bathrooms are probably clean, I really don't want to be thinking about the bathrooms to begin with. When I walk into a restaurant I would prefer it smelled like food.

The floors. If the floors are littered with debris or spills... it's a pretty good sign the place is run badly.

Lighting. If you walk into a restaurant and the lighting is way too bright for the time of day, someone isn't paying attention.

Amen. I forgot that I had a hot button until I read this. That has, at times, been the greatest factor in my pleasure. Reallllly big deal for me. At times people I dine with hear my bitching about it from the time we walk in til the time we leave. When I managed one restaurant in particular and came in on my nights off, I always made a bee-line to the dimmer switches and felt like no one except the chef/owner appreciated that affectation as much as I did. I'm sure the MODs were offended, but it was important enough to me, I think it's a possible make it or break with guests' enjoyment ~ something they may not even be conscious of.