From a Servers Perspective

[Robin Garr]

Again, I insulted no poster.

For the record, Eliza, I saw no insult in your post.

Up next! 100 rules of thumb when visiting a brothel.
#1. Use your manners
2. Make eye contact
3. Wash your hands

Only chicken brothels.

carla, i do not believe that anyone in any industry is below being treated with courtesy and respect. i also don't think a customer should be able to do "whatever they want because they are paying for it." there are limits to how someone can act in public and if those limits are crossed, that's where management swoops in and asks them to leave. at which point, gratuity is irrelevant. i'm not saying i don't prefer a pleasant customer. of course i do. but when it comes to the server/diner relationship, there are rules. the customer may come in, sit down, and if he or she wishes, yap-yap-yap on their cell phone throughout their entire meal. as the server, what can i say? i'm not going to approach the table and say "pardon me sir, but your behavior is rude and i find it unacceptable." this is not going to happen. however, if the diner has any problem with my behavior during their dinner, they have every right to make it known to both myself AND my employer. i'm not saying that this means the customer is better than me or on some higher plane of existence. this is just how that particular relationship works. they hold the money, they're in charge. they reserve the right to behave the way they want during their meal (to a reasonable extent). ideally, each customer would treat me with the exact same courtesy, respect, eye conatact, etc. that they expect from me. i was only pointing out that this is just never going to happen with every table.

for some reason, this thread brought to mind another common scenario in the service industry. i see it all the time. the customer just positively loves me. "you are the best server we've ever had here!" "oh honey, you did such a wonderful job!" "go and get your manager so we can tell her what marvelous service we had!" i love hearing these compliments. they make me smile and feel great about they way i'm doing my job. that's all well and good. but how do you think i feel when this same table leaves me five percent? at that point, i don't give a rat's ass how much they adored me. their verbal high praise is not going to pay my car insurance. i would have rather had to deal with a grouchy table who then left a proper gratuity.