do servers not listen anymore?

When I lived and worked in NYC, I was amazed that most of my co-workers wanted no ice in their drinks and became angry when they were given more than a cube or two. They seemed to have a feeling that they were being cheated somehow (which is odd, given free refills). I decided it was just a blue-collar New Yorker thing. <shrug>

Personally, I like lots of ice and fill my cup right up to the top before putting Coke in. I want it cold and refreshing ... and if I want more, I can always go back for a refill.

Robin, next time I go to NY I want directions to the places that give free refills. When I first moved to the Ville I nearly drowned in my excitment for free soda, it was such a treat.

[Robin Garr]

[quote="GaryF"Robin, next time I go to NY I want directions to the places that give free refills. When I first moved to the Ville I nearly drowned in my excitment for free soda, it was such a treat.[/quote]
Gary, the problem, I think, is a lack of places with fountain drinks out where the customers can reach them. I sure thought I recalled the practice being common in pizzerias around Astoria, though. Grand Avenue, maybe, and Rizzo's on Steinway ...

I'm not arguing that there might be an ongoing decline (no one has the evidence needed to settle this point). But, given that the title of the thread includes the word "anymore," I'm not willing to buy that this is one of those dire trends where things are bad and only going to get worse. Such an argument, to me, depends less on what is going on now and more about a "rosy-colored" view of times gone by.

Matthew, not to be argumentative but I don't think it is cyclic. I've seen this trend over at least the last 10 years. Maybe it has accelerated in the last couple of years but it's nothing new. I think it's more likely just something that shows the overall decline in courtesy in today's world. Maybe we can blame it on technology maybe we can't but every one in today's world does not seem to be as caring and courteous as they used to be. Obviously, the service industry is where it's going to be the most obvious.

As Annemarie said you would think Waiters and Waitresses would want to give good service in hopes of getting a better tip but instead they expected no matter how they serve you. It's also evident in the way that are mandatory tip percentage has creeped upward from 15% to 18 or 20%.

I'm not saying they're not great servers out there because there are but I do certainly feel then the overall level of service has greatly declined.

I'm thinking Mark and Matthew both make some very good points...Seriously.

I'm looking forward to reading more but right now I have to put MY work ethic in action and get my butt in gear and cut the grass before it rains again.

[Robin Garr]

I'm thinking Mark and Matthew both make some very good points...Seriously.

You got somethin' against Luke and John?

I'm thinking Mark and Matthew both make some very good points...Seriously.

You got somethin' against Luke and John?

Now THAT was a good'ern and (for once) I am left speechless and with no response I'm sure I'll think of something appropriate while riding around on the John Deere but alas it will be meaningless as the timing will have been lost.

I'm thinking Mark and Matthew both make some very good points...Seriously.

You got somethin' against Luke and John?

LOL, Yep that was a good one..

[Robin Garr]

Now THAT was a good'ern and (for once) I am left speechless and with no response I'm sure I'll think of something appropriate while riding around on the John Deere but alas it will be meaningless as the timing will have been lost.

It is just possible that I may be spending too much time in seminary classes ...

I've been to a lot of very nice restaurants since returning to Louisville four years ago: Le Relais, Lilly's, Bourbons Bistro, 732 Social, L & N, Basa... and a lot of the local neighborhood type places. I can't say I've ever had a terrible waiter or a terrible experience. Of recent waiters, the worst was simply slow but pleasant.

But then, especially when I know I'm going to be spending a lot of money, I want to have a good time and I work to make that happen. So I smile at the servers. I sometimes joke with them and engage them, or if they seem the distant, but informed types, I let them do that act, let them shine. I thank them when they fill my water glass. The server is part of the good time, and if I'm charming enough, they become an asset. And remembering the nightmare stories my son tells of when he waited during college - the abuses and absurd requests and short tips by customers - I always tip at least 20 percent. Sometimes more.

My wife is a pleasant person, too, but in some ways like Annemarie - expecting to be disappointed. She mocks the waiter over the 'big pepper grinder' scenario. She sulks if they leave the lemon in the water that she requested be omitted. She gets apoplectic when the waiter starts to take away her plate before everyone is finished (it is an annoying trend, but if you just say, "Oh, I want to keep it," it will stay and the evening can continue pleasantly). I try to keep the mood going. I don't like straws. I like ice. But the mood of the evening or lunch is more important. I relax. I have fun. I enjoy. Some people just aren't built that way, but it makes things - and people - much nicer.

I think there are a ton of people working as servers that shouldn't be, because they just don't really care.

As there are teachers, accountants, politicians, doctors, and other readily available examples of not caring in every freakin' job field.[/quote]

Oh, most definitely! But this is a thread about service, hence my focus.

I should clarify my original post about there being tons of servers that shouldn't be servers because they just don't care. I think that serving, especially, is the type of job that is best suited for the type of person who is very warm and hospitable, and who actually enjoys adding enjoyment to someone's dining experience. It has always just kind of boggled me that you seem to run into so many people in that position that are rather cold and apathetic. Just seems an odd job choice, I guess.

I'm thinking Mark and Matthew both make some very good points...Seriously.

You got somethin' against Luke and John?

OMG!!!!!!!

I'm thinking Mark and Matthew both make some very good points...Seriously.

You got somethin' against Luke and John?

OMG!!!!!!!

Ya wonder about a guy like that don't you Bill ?....He'd probably rob Peter to pay Paul (oh yeah, like who amongst us hasn't done THAT)

Responding to the larger question, and not limiting my remarks to restaurant employees, I have (in the course of my day to day life) noticed an increase in poor attention to detail and an overall reduction in work ethic for quite some time. I'm not a university researcher, nor do I play one on TV, but my personal observation is that the problem is becoming more and more common and is both societal and generational in term of it's roots.

100% agree

[Robin Garr]

my personal observation is that the problem is becoming more and more common and is both societal and generational in term of it's roots.

100% agree

When we start putting numbers like 100 percent on it, I'm going to have to step up in defense of some excellent 20-something servers I've had take care of my table, who've done their job with courtesy, skill and grace. Some of them are on the forum. Many are not. But I don't think that number is anything like 100 percent, or even 50 percent when we're talking about locally operated sit-down eateries. I'm also inclined to agree with Ken Wilson's thoughtful observations about getting back what you give.