Should you be informed abou a party of 20 before seated?

Yeah, as has already been said, I think the key issue here is whether you requested to be moved. When the noise-level from the table became unbearable, did you ask your server to move you to another table? If not, I can't fault the restaurant for anything.

I don't think a hostess has some de facto obligation to inform a patron of an incoming large group. 90% of the time I eat out, large groups, loud or not, don't bother me. If they did, I would simply ask to be moved to another table. Now, if that request was refused if there were many available tables, I would have a problem.

I know where all you compassionate people work and will hereby take my business elsewhere.

I think thats out of line. I didnt see any of the responses here to be nasty. You asked industry folks for their opinion and you got it. They just dont agree with you,sorry.

Should you be informed about a party of 20 before seated?

No. You should be informed if there is an issue with your food or drinks, but really, that's about it. I don't think anyone has been nasty either, I just think you have expectations of dining out that are not realistic.

Okay, i am sorry. It was GROUP OF OVER 50'S imo. Yes, I expect loud people at Kt's, Cafe Lou Lou, and any number of chains.This was a Wednesday night. for golly's sake!

Okay, i am sorry. It was GROUP OF OVER 50'S imo. Yes, I expect loud people at Kt's, Cafe Lou Lou, and any number of chains.This was a Wednesday night. for golly's sake!

Hey, it was the first of the month...Uncle Sam had probably just dropped a load of eagles in their checkbooks. You'd be partying too if you got free money.

I am 54 and these people were at least 10 years and 20 ounces drunker than me, HELLO.

I ONLY support indie restaurants, but I get this treatment? I tipped my server 25%. I always do. Sorry to offend you darlings, but if Robin were there, he would have understood.

Sorry to offend you darlings, but if Robin were there, he would have understood.

if the 20-top near you was totally over-the-top, obnoxiously, intolerably loud, i think you had every right to feel annoyed. however, you should have asked your server/host/management if your party could be moved. it's the restaurant's job to accomodate their guests. providing a place where a large group can dine and talk and laugh and feel comfortable having a good time is just as important as your relaxing, quiet dinner. if you did not speak up and let someone know that the other group was spoiling your experience, how can you expect them to do anything about it?

i don't think anyone was nasty to you in responding. it's true that your comment about the group being over fifty and hard of hearing was a generalization and i can see how it may have offended some of the people you were stereotyping. i think a lot of what they said was funny (the thing about discount day at kroger and free money). it seems to me like they were just giving you a little hell and i think you should try and have a sense of humor about it. you have to remember that a lot of industry people have a "unique" sense of humor. i think that's part of what makes us cut out for this sort of work.

btw, i don't know robin personally but my guess is that he would speak up about the situation and ask to be moved if he were uncomfortable. i don't believe it reflects badly upon the restaurant if their guests are clearly enjoying themselves. in fact, isn't it quite the opposite?

If I had been that bothered by it, I'd have asked to be moved. That would be my responsibility, to tell the server that they were bothering me, after all, most servers are not psychic.

Okay, I will quit here. The indies need and want business. You don't want to pi** anyone off , right?


My daughter calls and says she just got hired. Daughter # 2 just gets off work. We haven't been together for 4 weeks. We make a last minute opentable reservation for a Wedneday night at 6 pm. Meal was great, I tip our server well.


Problem is, we could have been seated in any number of places except 5 ft from a huge group of people who came in after we had ordered and had our salads. There were very few guests in this small restaurant.

Did they not inform us because we were 3 women and thus not "profitable" or important? Why should we have to move after our first course? Couldn't they say, "we are expecting 20 or more people in this room" and offered us another table to begin with? That was my point. I hope at least some people in the business take this to heart.

Um, no. They didn't inform you because they wouldn't inform ANYONE if a party were about to be seated.

Okay, I will quit here. The indies need and want business. You don't want to pi** anyone off , right?


My daughter calls and says she just got hired. Daughter # 2 just gets off work. We haven't been together for 4 weeks. We make a last minute opentable reservation for a Wedneday night at 6 pm. Meal was great, I tip our server well.


Problem is, we could have been seated in any number of places except 5 ft from a huge group of people who came in after we had ordered and had our salads. There were very few guests in this small restaurant.

Did they not inform us because we were 3 women and thus not "profitable" or important? Why should we have to move after our first course? Couldn't they say, "we are expecting 20 or more people in this room" and offered us another table to begin with? That was my point. I hope at least some people in the business take this to heart.

The server had no way of knowing you were being bothered, unless you told him. His job is to serve you food, not read your mind. Sounds like you may have had some unrealistic expectations. If you were bothered, you should have ASKED, politely, to be moved. Also, it's easier to move 3 people than it is to move 20. Just a thought.

Problem is, we could have been seated in any number of places except 5 ft from a huge group of people who came in after we had ordered and had our salads. There were very few guests in this small restaurant.

Did they not inform us because we were 3 women and thus not "profitable" or important? Why should we have to move after our first course? Couldn't they say, "we are expecting 20 or more people in this room" and offered us another table to begin with? That was my point. I hope at least some people in the business take this to heart.

there are a number of reason this unfortunate situation may have occured. perhaps the 20 top did not have a reservation. on a slow night, the place i work for can usually seat a group of this size right away, even if they just walk in without calling. your host may not have even known they were coming in. maybe the host that night is inexperienced and new to the job or is simply incompetent at his/her job. as a server, i can attest to the fact that although there are some great hosts working in the business, there are also lots of crummy ones. it could be that they were not expecting the large group or someone called in sick and so they were a bit understaffed on servers. in this case, they sat you in the place they did to ensure that all of the servers that they did have on hand that night could work together in keeping an eye on your table. you don't know what happened, all you know is that you had a bad experience. the only way you can expect anyone to take this to heart is to tell them you had the bad experience. i'm sure if you had let someone know how you felt, a good manager would have offered an explanation, been very sensitive to your needs, apologized, and done whatever was necessary to correct the situation.

Well, thank you Michelle for your honesty
I thought you restaurant folks would want to hear an honest comment from your clientele. Besides the obnoxious folks in the room, there were only about 12 of us in the place.

We plan on taking the girls out on Tuesday. We wil order a good wine and will probably spend over 200 dollars. Anyone out there wnt to give us a table where we can talk and not scream?

I think most of these folks were joking at the generalization, admittedly at your expense, but not to be mean. While I am customer-oriented all the way - the question about if you asked to be moved is the key. If you asked to be moved due to the loud party and were refused (assuming there were open tables available), then you should be upset. The staff has no way of knowing you are distressed unless you tell them. They had no way of knowing the large party coming in were a prayer group or a heavy metal reunion. What was the hostess going to tell you? "I have 20 people coming in in about 10 minutes, we may or may not seat them near you, they may or may not be loud and bosterious and this is your warning notice."

Sometimes hubby and I like a rowdy group of diners, they can provide the "floor show" during a meal. Sometimes we prefer a quiet corner to ourselves. I believe it is our obligation to make our needs known to the service staff, it is thier obligation to attempt to meet them.

Can we all be friends now?