server complains about tip

Here's the thing. I'm sure the overwhelming majority of the restaurant that night, including your party, was tipping about 18%. So why in the world would the server single out your friend? I'm telling you from a service perspective, i've NEVER seen a single person question an 18% tip. It makes no sense.

That doesn't mean it didn't happen and I"m not calling you a liar. Did you see the tip? If you did, then i'm wrong. End of story. This is the internet, theres no need to get upset when someone offers a dissenting viewpoint or an alternate theory. If I came off rude, i apologize, that wasn't my intent.

As for the server, should he be shitcanned? Yeah probably. I was just trying to get people to see the viewpoint from other side of the table. Imagine your rent is due and you've gotten stiffed on a few tables that night for no good reason. Its unbelieveably stressful and frustrating at times and right or wrong, sometimes you want to stand up for yourself on principal. There are a lot (well, not a lot but enough) people out there who just flat out don't tip, and if you're unlucky enough to get several in one night it can put you over the edge. If the guy wants to risk his job to question a non-tipper thats his right, just like its someones "right" not to tip.

We had a similiar situation happen to us in one of the local restaurants. In this case the tip was short because part of the group paid by cash and the other group paid by credit card. The mistake in the tip was made by a mature lady who was obviously confused. The server came to the table and challenged her on the tip. My husband immediately stood up and asked the waiter to step away from the table, so as not to further embarrass the lady, and paid him the additional tip. It did make him angry. Maybe the best way to habdle these situations is to train your waiters to never approach the customers but to come to management and try and figure out something that would make everyone happy.

Madeline, that is a good example of how a misunderstanding can happen and thats what i was alluding to earlier that there could have been a miscommunication. Also the server was egregiously wrong in that case, i'm more referring to instances when there is no misunderstanding. One couple or family with a single payer.

It would be great if management could somehow make up for the lost tip. I have had managers comp some sodas off the tab at times so i at least got a few bucks. In general though management can't help out because some servers would take advantage of them.

[Robin Garr]

Madeline, that is a good example of how a misunderstanding can happen and thats what i was alluding to earlier that there could have been a miscommunication. Also the server was egregiously wrong in that case, i'm more referring to instances when there is no misunderstanding. One couple or family with a single payer.

It would be great if management could somehow make up for the lost tip. I have had managers comp some sodas off the tab at times so i at least got a few bucks. In general though management can't help out because some servers would take advantage of them.

Jason, you're making some good points. No question that the guy who confronted Heather's party was egregiously wrong and needs a serious attitude adjustment (or more), but now that the issues are becoming clear, I think it's worth while for us consumers to recognize that when a server (or anyone else) goes off the rails, there's usually some reason for it.

Heather's experience was ghastly. No doubt. But I think think Jason's skepticism regarding the actual occurrences is justified. Sometimes a situation is just too bizarre to accept totally as presented. I DO NOT think Heather was lying or intending to misrepresents facts, only relaying information as it was supplied to her. I got to say I find it incredulous that a waiter that makes the cut to work at a restaurant of this caliber would do such a thing over an 18% tip which makes me question the information as supplied to Heather. (As my mother used to say, "Somewhere there's a hitch in the giddy-up.") I think Jason perhaps vocalized what at least SOME of us were wondering. Nobody is excusing the behavior of the server.
I'd go on and talk about the difference between a secular profession and the food service industry but I think that subject has been cover ad nauseam in other posts.

Gary Z, Who are you? I don't have to answer anything, I am not under trial here, but I know for a fact that an 18% tip was given, I was sitting right next to the diner.

I stick to my original testimony about the server being out of line.

The holiday cheer is clearly evident in this thread. Happy holidays to all you cheerful souls!

Jason, Carla, And Gary, Please share with us your experiences during your dining time at Jeff Ruby's
I want to know how I should behave on my next visit there.
Thanks

[Robin Garr]

I stick to my original testimony about the server being out of line.

Heather, EVERYONE here agrees with that!

I guess we're all just trying to figure out what would make a server at a top establishment with good management go off the rails like that, so theories abound. It's not about you. Honest!

[Robin Garr]

Jason, Carla, And Gary, Please share with us your experiences during your dining time at Jeff Ruby's
I want to know how I should behave on my next visit there.
Thanks

Bear in mind that we're talking about the place where the owner got national publicity for a public act of great rudeness. He got a pass because people disliked the subject of his attack, but still.

Jason, Carla, And Gary, Please share with us your experiences during your dining time at Jeff Ruby's
I want to know how I should behave on my next visit there.
Thanks

Heather, please, I said nothing regarding how you did, or should behave. In fact I sincerely tried to be as glass clear on the fact that I did not doubt your account of events. But up until this last post of yours you never said you saw the tip, only that it was implied by someone or something that it was actually 18%. I think Jason (as well as myself) was only postulating "What if it wasn't 18% after all?" What if, I dunno, the tip was illegible, or miscalculated or goodness knows what number of various reasons there could have been a mistake.

Still... Even if it wasn't 18% the servers actions were not justified and I think that's been stated in almost every post made here. Never did I mean to imply anything negative regarding you, your dining habits, your friends or anything related to you. I apologize if you took it that way, it was not my intent.

Is it possible that the other diner didn't tip on alcohol?

I believe that a diner should always tip on the whole check, but I have heard others defend the belief that they shouldn't tip on wine.

I'm not accusing anyone of being a liar. It's just that it's strange to me that in a town where many people still think 15% is the standard, a diner who tipped 18% should be singled out. I'm looking for another explanation.

And, has anyone complained to the restaurant? They should know what their servers are doing.

So can we summize that rude behavior is pre-requesite for employment Jeff Ruby's?

Carla, what was your dining experience at Jeff Ruby's? That is basically what I want to know.
Also, if someone posts here regarding their restaurant experience, folks should try to avoid the "witch hunt" approach as to whether the poster is telling the truth. I find it highly insulting that my word is not good enough.


Eliza, The diner did not have an alcoholic drink, and failed to mention that in my original post.

Noone was suggesting you dined incorrectly. Again...i know this at times feels like a close knit group, but in reality its a public internet forum so you should expect dissent without being offended, which you clearly are. I assumed the intent of your post was to explore the situation so I offered a reasonable opinion.

If you would really like to know more about the issue, PM me the name of the server and i'll get the inside scoop. I'd be happy to reach out to someone i know who works there and say "hey, i have a friend who had a bad experience the other night with so-and-so. Can you ask him why he questioned his tip and embarrassed her friend?"