To complain, or not to complain, that is THE question

I am a rather newbie to this forum...been here since this past Derby day...not a newbie to eating in Louisville restaurants however. Since I have been here I have learned so very much, I have started to give the servers more of a break than I used to...I admit my best friend used to accuse me of having a hobby of waitress bashing. I still expect good service but I tip well and cut them a break when I can see they are busy. I complain alot less now than I used to, only when something is really bad. I have also learned to ask for management to complement staff as well. I try to do that when the place is not so busy to not distract from other duties.
I have not aired any problems here on the forums as yet not that I wont just don't think I have had anything bad enough to warrent going to a public forum for.

I'm pretty sure they gave them the bottles for free. They took the first bottle back, after the "man at the table" tasted and apporoved and the ladies didn't like it. He told the server, "we're not paying for this wine, the ladies don't like it". The server then brought out the second selection, the ladies did the tasting and disapproved and the server took that bottle back. The table then ordered cocktails.

Sure, blame the ladies. Since when did we get to decide when things were passable?

Since when did we get to decide when things were passable?

In our household, some time around 1973.
'Winger

I'm pretty sure they gave them the bottles for free. They took the first bottle back, after the "man at the table" tasted and apporoved and the ladies didn't like it. He told the server, "we're not paying for this wine, the ladies don't like it". The server then brought out the second selection, the ladies did the tasting and disapproved and the server took that bottle back. The table then ordered cocktails.

Sure, blame the ladies. Since when did we get to decide when things were passable?

Seriously?

Generally I do not complain unless something is really really terrible. The only time I can recall sending a dish back was in Amerigo's final days when my gnocci was gloppy and cold in the middle. It came back still gloppy and hot. Obviously microwaved the same dish. I took two bites and did not complain further, but the waitress did notice and apologized and took it off the bill without a request to do so.

Recently we went to a local Mediterranean establishment that we love - I still feel this was a fluke so I won't do names on this one. The baba ghanoush was unrecognizable as baba ghanoush. All slimy eggplant and apparently no tahini at all. We didn't complain but ate almost none of it. It was an appetizer and not worth risking a stink to be made. In cases like this I just hope that it's noticed how little is eaten and they will recognize something was wrong and correct it for other preparations.

It's probably an odd way to draw the line between complaining and not, but those two examples probably illustrate best how I tend to handle such situations.

PS Reagan I love your avatar! Meryl Silverburgh. .

GRRR MERYL!

Thanks so much for the insight, it is a nice window into different personalities and how they handle things. Working front and back of house, and being a customer, one runs into a variety of situations, and it is great to see how many different ways we handle it>

Here's a story about "not complaining" involving LHB.

A few months ago I posted a review of Browning's on LHB. I can't really remember the review and am too lazy to search for it. The best I can remember is that I recounted being happy with the experience and being especially happy with the then-current beer offerings. In a separate PM to Paula I mentioned that it might be smart of her to check on the preparation of the dish I had (the BBQ sandwich) because the one I ate seemed like it had either been on a hot plate for too just long or under the heating lamp just too long. I didn't ask for anything as I did eat the sandwich, enjoyed it, and did not feel a need to complain at the time. Paula and I had a pleasant discussion via PM in which she voiced appreciation for my feedback and offered to send me a small gift card to demonstrate this appreciation. She was not pushy, and I was not pushy in saying that was unnecessary. She asked for my addressed, I provided it, the gift card arrived, and we made use of it a short time later.

I totally appreciated the giftcard. I mean, free food! Paula handled the situation perfectly, although the gift card was unnecessary.

Such "make things right" moves are often why I don't complain. When things have gone poorly at a restaurant, the last thing I want to do is engage a manager who is probably going to be somewhere on a continuum between "hardheaded" and "too eager to please." I'd love to have a way to discuss my experience - especially those that fall short of the complaint level - with managers without them feeling like they need to "compensate" me or "buy back my business." When an experience is god-awful or it happens at a place I really really like, I'll follow-up as a way to protect me, future guests, and the business itself.

I must admit though that I am probably the abnormal diner. For instance, I [i]hate[i] the floating manager who stops by just to ask, "Is everything good tonight?" It would seem to me that an establishment with a correct chain-of-command in place would be able to count on servers to do this frontline PR. I'm always suspicious of authority and, therefore, suspicious of such managers. They just seem creepy, sly, and out for no good. Not to mention they are interrupting my meal!

I'm pretty sure they gave them the bottles for free. They took the first bottle back, after the "man at the table" tasted and apporoved and the ladies didn't like it. He told the server, "we're not paying for this wine, the ladies don't like it". The server then brought out the second selection, the ladies did the tasting and disapproved and the server took that bottle back. The table then ordered cocktails.

Sure, blame the ladies. Since when did we get to decide when things were passable?

Seriously?

Nope. Just joking. At least for my household, I'd have the wine, and let Wyatt taste it. And then tell him to suck it up, wine tastes that way.

[Robin Garr]

I'm pretty sure they gave them the bottles for free. They took the first bottle back, after the "man at the table" tasted and apporoved and the ladies didn't like it. He told the server, "we're not paying for this wine, the ladies don't like it". The server then brought out the second selection, the ladies did the tasting and disapproved and the server took that bottle back. The table then ordered cocktails.

Without passing judgment on "the ladies," this may not be as bad as it sounds. All Avalon lost, evidently, was a tasting pour. If they could turn the rest of the bottle over to the bar for by-the-drink sales, they'd end up coming out ahead and then some.

The ladies still sound like people I wouldn't want to spend much time with, though.

I'm pretty sure they gave them the bottles for free. They took the first bottle back, after the "man at the table" tasted and apporoved and the ladies didn't like it. He told the server, "we're not paying for this wine, the ladies don't like it". The server then brought out the second selection, the ladies did the tasting and disapproved and the server took that bottle back. The table then ordered cocktails.

Without passing judgment on "the ladies," this may not be as bad as it sounds. All Avalon lost, evidently, was a tasting pour. If they could turn the rest of the bottle over to the bar for by-the-drink sales, they'd end up coming out ahead and then some.

The ladies still sound like people I wouldn't want to spend much time with, though.

True on the second bottle, but the first bottle had three glasses poured from it.

[Robin Garr]

True on the second bottle, but the first bottle had three glasses poured from it.

Actually, if they could get ONE glass out of the first bottle, they possibly broke even. I can't speak to Avalon's list, but by and large, by-the-glass pricing is set so the first glass sold at retail covers the restaurant's wholesale cost for the bottle. The rest is profit.

True on the second bottle, but the first bottle had three glasses poured from it.

I'm sorry but does that not break etiquette? You present the bottle. Customer looks at label and says yes. Server opens bottle and pours a taste. Customer accepts or rejects. If accepted it seems that all bets are off. It is yours. Pretty hard to say well go ahead a drink three glasses of wine out of a 4 glass bottle and then get your money back.

True on the second bottle, but the first bottle had three glasses poured from it.

I'm sorry but does that not break etiquette? You present the bottle. Customer looks at label and says yes. Server opens bottle and pours a taste. Customer accepts or rejects. If accepted it seems that all bets are off. It is yours. Pretty hard to say well go ahead a drink three glasses of wine out of a 4 glass bottle and then get your money back.

I would think so and would think it would be out of line to serve wine to another patron that had been left unattended at another table. As I said earlier, the man tasted and approved and then the ladies/women/females tasted from full pours and rejected.

True on the second bottle, but the first bottle had three glasses poured from it.

I'm sorry but does that not break etiquette? You present the bottle. Customer looks at label and says yes. Server opens bottle and pours a taste. Customer accepts or rejects. If accepted it seems that all bets are off. It is yours. Pretty hard to say well go ahead a drink three glasses of wine out of a 4 glass bottle and then get your money back.

I would think so and would think it would be out of line to serve wine to another patron that had been left unattended at another table. As I said earlier, the man tasted and approved and then the ladies/women/females tasted from full pours and rejected.

He should have ordered the White Zinfandel as oppsosed to the Amarone and then the "ladies" would have been happy.

Sometimes there's no point in complaining to management. For example if there is something about the food I don't happen to like...that doesn't make it "wrong". Some things just aren't to my liking for a thousand minute reasons. I might not actively complain...but if asked I won't hold back either.

We had dinner at one of the more upscale places in town and my wife ordered bouillabaisse. What she received was a seafood and rice dish that wasn't great but not bad, but wasn't bouillabaisse either. She was relatively unhappy with her meal...but did we complain...no....we just won't order this chef's version of bouillabaisse again. We experience this scenario much more frequently than some huge disaster.

Your bouillabaisse story reminded me of a wine incident at Avalon. We watched in amazement as the table next to us refused to pay for 2 different bottles of wine, simply because they didn't like them.

This is something that has become more and more common as restaurants try to bend over backwards for their guests, to a larger extent than their competitors. A person will order something and it just won't be what they were expecting. Or maybe they order a menu item and then refuse it upon delivery because there is some ingredient present that they don't care for. The ingredient can be clearly presented in the menu description, but the patron either doesn't take the time to read the full description, or doesn't remember to ask to have the offending item omitted.

So the item is recooked and sent out to the specifications of the guest. Now... should they be charged for two entrees? Of course not. No restaurant wouldn't stay in business if this was their philosophy. The only answer is to get them what they want, no questions asked. And the restaurant eats the loss on the returned food.

The same thing applies to wine. Someone can order a bottle they've never tried before and decide it's not for them. The bottle is quickly whisked away and once again, the restaurant eats the cost.

I only mention these things because what used to be considered hospitality in restaurants is now the expectation. With the rise of the internet and all the food based shows on TV, the general public is much more interested (not to mention educated) about what they feel they should EXPECT whenever they dine out.

Anything that falls short of these expectations should be fair game to bitch about, right? Especially on the internet. I love the attitude out of a few of you. You're willing to take a chance on certain places or dishes and when it doesn't work out, you suck it up and take it as a lesson learned. You are not the people who walk out of a movie and demand your money back.

Everyone is a critic. Unforunately, when you have a food based website run by an actual critic... the subjective critiques by some of the members have to be taken with a grain of salt. If you're going to complain about something, here is my unsolicited advice...

Address it right then and there. If the situation is not resolved before you leave the restaurant, pay your tab and leave quietly. At that point, you have every reason to take your complaint to whomever is the top dog in that restaurant/company. If that still yields no results, THEN you have free reign to bad mouth them, loud and proud, to anyone who will listen.