Dear...

I've seen this done on many message boards and I think it would be fun here too.

The whole idea is that you start your post with "Dear _____" and go from there. Examples:


Dear Spinelli's,

Your pizza arrives flat and lukewarm. If I didn't get a contact buzz off your driver, I wouldn't eat that sh#t at all.


Dear Tumbleweed,

You're charging white trash $9.50 for a burrito. Go on with your bad selves!


Dear Shane,

You wrote fan fiction about board members within a month of joining. You'll take whatever grief you get.

[Robin Garr]

Dear Gary:

Cool idea, provided it doesn't go off the rails.

Dear Robin,

It's going to. It will have to be monitored. But it can be a good way to passive aggressively say what you want to say without actually have to start a "controversy" thread.

And it doesn't always have to be negative...

Dear Samantha,

You were a very pleasant server. And you have great boobs.

[Robin Garr]

Dear Silver Dollar:

I like your food and your mood, but I caaaannn't heeeeaaarrrr yoooouuuuuu ...

Dear Eiderdown-

Your duckfat popcorn makes me the "wurst" vegetarian on the planet.


Dear Twig and Leaf -

Every time I pass by I wish to win the lottery so I could buy you and return you to your glory days when FOOD was actually served there. Chocolate pie with mini chocolate chips on top would make a triumphant return!


Dear Dairy Kastle-

I love you. I want to dip you in chocolate and eat you "derby-style."

Dear Eiderdown-

Your duckfat popcorn makes me the "wurst" vegetarian on the planet.

Very Good!

Dear Theatre Square Marketplace,

I hate you. Really . I'm trying to diet and your fantastic gnocchi keep calling my name: "Deb, come eat me....you know you want to..." All that creamy wonderful pillowy goodness......Stop it. Now.


Dear Henry's Place,

I really don't care how many people you have in the back making my food- I just care that it's wonderful. Please consider re-branding yourselves before opening- I know your chef has serious talent and that's what I want to hear about.

Dear Feast BBQ,

Please stop putting the finishing touches on that gorgeous renovation and open already! I've been seriously jonesing for some of your brisket for months ( seems like years) now. Please don't make me wait any longer....

Dear [more than one local merchant]:

Please start providing decent customer service and following through on what you say you're going to do. I was going to give my business to you, my neighbor, even though I can get the same product cheaper online, but you don't seem to want my money.

Dear Insight,
I really am considering cancelling my services with you. I really like your broadband speeds, but the latest line up change dropping the local Fox affiliates is the perverbial straw.
I don't relish the thought of having a satellite dish hanging off my roof or having to plug up to antenna to pick up the signal, but if you don't get this rectified soon, the fear of not being able to watch NFC games on Sunday afternoons in the fall, is finally enough to make me do something about your overpriced service bundles.

Dear Insight,
I really am considering cancelling my services with you. I really like your broadband speeds, but the latest line up change dropping the local Fox affiliates is the perverbial straw.
I don't relish the thought of having a satellite dish hanging off my roof or having to plug up to antenna to pick up the signal, but if you don't get this rectified soon, the fear of not being able to watch NFC games on Sunday afternoons in the fall, is finally enough to make me do something about your overpriced service bundles.

It's not a line up change; it's a contractual dispute.

Dear every restaurant in Louisville (and nationwide for that matter):

Want to start off on the wrong foot with me? Leave me waiting at the door with no host or hostess in sight. I understand the need to cut labor and have employees multi-task. But if the hostess is in the back rolling silverware and not greeting customers, your short term savings aren't really worth it.

Love,

Matt

Dear everyone
Phrasing your postings like this makes them sound truly ridiculous in most cases!

Dear everyone
Phrasing your postings like this makes them sound truly ridiculous in most cases!

Dear Mark,

That's part of the fun...
Deb

Dear Bart Jansen,

Even though I really did LOL, this is not right

Dear Bart Jansen,

Even though I really did LOL, this is not right

It may not be right, but that's the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time!

Thanks for the link that I'll be forwarding to a lot of people.

Doug