Funny email from Village Anchor

I usually do not give out my email to businesses because of the spam but I do like Village Anchor and I think they do a nice job marketing their fine product. I recieved this email today and it reminded me of the thread a while back about the missing $25 salt spoon...
Here is the email:

Hello, Friends!
Okay. Let's just get this on the table. We did inventory at the Village Anchor last month and I have noted that we are down an unrealistically disturbing amount of dishes and silverware. Upon further investigation, I have learned -- from servers and the kitchen -- that this is somewhat common in the industry. Further, they say, if I opt to have expensive Oneida china and fancy cocktail forks and spoons, I should not be surprised that guests want to have these things as "souvenirs." Short of saying, QUIT TAKING THE DISHES!, I am offering up the following to elicit whatever emotion is necessary that makes one believe that the dishes are better off in our kitchen than yours.....



Cocktail fork: Wow! I love it here at the Village Anchor.

Guest pocket: Come here, little fork. I have something to show you.

Cocktail fork: No. I'm not to talk to strange garments.

Guest pocket: Don't worry little fork. Look, there are already lots of little forks in here.

Purse: Leave him alone, Pocket. Little fancy fork doesn't want to go with you.

Guest pocket: Shut up Purse. Go mind your own business.

Purse: Come with me, little Fork. I will take you up to the kitchen with all the other utensils where you will be safe.

Guest pocket (who has moved on): Come here little Oneida $15 ketchup ramekin.....



Please be a good guest and stand up for the forks and ramekins!



xxoo Kevin

Sounds like the beginning of a Disney musical number.

So I guess that dish and glass breakage, accidentally throwing out the silverware and ramekins and pilfering by the staff isn't really a problem at Village Anchor? Apparently they are different than any place I've ever worked at.
It seems a little strange to be blaming the customers on what most of us in the "Bizz" would consider to be a normal loss.
That's just one of the unexpected costs that people don't really think about going into it.
I think they have been open close to a year, so by my reckoning they probably have had at least a 25% loss in service-ware by now. I'm curious to know what the "unrealistic" number is that they came up with after their inventory.

Here's an example of this that I have dealt with in the past.
A place I worked at long ago had French Onion Soup on the menu. When I started there, I think we probably had close to 60 of those nifty little crocks to serve it in. Being a busy establishment during what we called "Leaf Peeping" season, that soup was very popular. However I noticed that we suddenly had become short of the crocks. Apparently one of the dishwashers didn't feel like scrubbing the melted cheese off of them so he just started throwing them away.

I think all restaurants should start functioning like operating rooms. Each table gets all their utensils, dishes, and cups counted and written down on their checks. Then before they can leave, it all gets counted again.
I'm actually a little bit in awe that they sent out that email. You know..I would think the clientel that goes there really wouldn't be the type that would be so taken by Oneida ramekins that they would steal them. But what do I know?

I got this email also. We were asked to sign up for their email before our "not so pleasant" lunch there (which I have posted) and were given the sign-up sheet as soon as we sat down. I find this email more than a bit inappropriate and very much doubt that the "elite" clientele that they are aspiring to attract would be stealing the "expensive" Oneida china, etc. Their attempt at humor missed the mark as far as I'm concerned. Best of luck!

On the other hand, I married into a family where one member is a bit notorious for pilfering what have you, from condiment and sugar packets to some of the more permanent aspects.

That being said, as I stated in the infamous "spoon" thread, if you put it on the table, you do so with the understanding that is might walk out the door.

I too have seen a lot of stuff go out the back door as well...

I can't believe they sent that email out. I understand it must be frustrating to loose those items but with so many of them missing do they really believe most of them are going out the front door? When I worked in restaurants I remember attending a party at a managers house. His entire home was furnished with equipment from the restaurant. Plates, glassware, silverware, ramekins, napkins even a couple of chairs from the dining room.

I also can't believe the naivety of the email itself. If someone is lifting spoons and saltshakers in front of their dining companions do you really think a cute email is going to curtail that habit? Why run the risk of insulting the rest of your diners?

Apparently one of the dishwashers didn't feel like scrubbing the melted cheese off of them so he just started throwing them away.

I'd be mad if I were the owner and it really is a total waste of resources.

But it's also really funny.

[Robin Garr]

I also can't believe the naivety of the email itself. If someone is lifting spoons and saltshakers in front of their dining companions do you really think a cute email is going to curtail that habit? Why run the risk of insulting the rest of your diners?

Umm ... Kevin Grainger, the owner, is a big leaguer on the national scene in advertising and media. He's the guy who came up with "Got Milk?" and he's run world-wide media campaigns for Nike. The letter was signed by Kevin, and I don't think Kevin does stupid. I expect he has a pretty good handle on what most of his regulars will think is funny.

I also can't believe the naivety of the email itself. If someone is lifting spoons and saltshakers in front of their dining companions do you really think a cute email is going to curtail that habit? Why run the risk of insulting the rest of your diners?

Umm ... Kevin Grainger, the owner, is a big leaguer on the national scene in advertising and media. He's the guy who came up with "Got Milk?" and he's run world-wide media campaigns for Nike. The letter was signed by Kevin, and I don't think Kevin does stupid. I expect he has a pretty good handle on what most of his regulars will think is funny.

I was interested in Village Anchor before this thread, but now I'm definitely going... I'd only be offended by it if I had been stealing silverware.

(note: I'm not implying that those offended are silverware thieves! They just lack my refined sense of humer [or are dirty silverware thieves])

and while your'e there will, make sure to pick up a extra fork or two....

I seem to be missing some knives at home, I installed a metal detector on my front door, so I should be able to catch my guests before they get too far.

Maybe to help them out, if you've got some odd pieces of china or stainless - leave a piece or two at each visit.

That would be SO FUNNY!!

Maybe to help them out, if you've got some odd pieces of china or stainless - leave a piece or two at each visit.

ROTFLMAO

Maybe to help them out, if you've got some odd pieces of china or stainless - leave a piece or two at each visit.

Oh snap!

Now that's funny!