Why Your Cocktail Waitress Hates You

In preparation for this article, I carried a piece of paper in my back pocket for weeks as I was worked, reporting on real-life situations whence I grew to hate my customers.

Then, I had a meeting of the minds with my co-workers — over drinks, of course. In this meeting they not only confirmed my scribblings but added to the discourse. Everything you read below is based on first- or secondhand accounts of stupid shit done in Phoenix bars. I do not wish to sound harsh, dear reader; I merely speak the truth of my reality.

Pretty funny stuff.

http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2010-05- ... hates-you/

Some of my favorites.
Grabby Paws
Ms. Mute
Shitters/Pukers

I think that she brings up some interesting points but there are exceptions to her rules. I do think that it's great for people w/in the industry to share these things in hopes of educating others. I was guilty of undertipping until I met my wife, who is a server. Now I'll call out my family & friends if I don't see them leaving at least 20% (regardless of the quality of server...they can just not come back again). There will always be people that are purposely bad but it's still possible to change people like me that were just oblivious.

When my wife first moved to this country, she could barely speak English. Once she could speak a bit more (in a matter of weeks), she would try to place her own orders. Servers were constantly confusing "rare" (not an easy word for French people) w/ "well" amongst other things which as you can imagine led to a horrible evening. One would think that if there was any doubt in their mind about what she just said, which there should've been, that they would've asked her to repeat but a lot of servers are less afraid of bringing out something incorrectly than simply saying "I'm sorry, did you say rare?" I eventually asked my wife to relay everything through me so that there wouldn't be any confusion. I would always try to remember what she wanted but there were often times when I wouldn't know answers to questions beforehand (especially when it was our first time visiting). It was sort of hit or miss there for awhile w/ this. Some servers noticed her accent immediately & understood what was happening & others would get noticeably irritated. I can even remember at least one occasion where the server appeared to assume that I was preventing my wife from ordering what she wanted & she kept asking her "is that OK, honey?". I was a bit offended at first but then I realized that this lady probably see's a lot of guys doing just that.

Also, the part about flagging down waitresses is very dependent upon the establishment. There are restaurants out there (certain placed on Dixie Hwy, Preson Hwy & Outer Loop come to mind) where the service is just plain horrible & if you don't start a fire your server will pretend to not see you for quite some time.

The article would have been more effective had she written the article about me (the customer) and not about her (the waitress).

I know there are exceptions to every rule but for the most part.... I felt her pain. And I'm sorry, but I don't go along with "that's part of the job so suck it up" POV. Just like we mentioned in another thread, there's no reason why we all can't be civil with each other, from whichever side of the tray we're standing.

I know there are exceptions to every rule but for the most part.... I felt her pain. And I'm sorry, but I don't go along with "that's part of the job so suck it up" POV. Just like we mentioned in another thread, there's no reason why we all can't be civil with each other, from whichever side of the tray we're standing.

I agree. There is never any excuse for you to touch your server. I don't care how drunk you are or how charming you think you are, it is never acceptable. Also, don't cuss at me, snap your fingers at me or whistle for me like you're calling a dog. You would think these are common sense boundaries. You'd think...

I agree. There is never any excuse for you to touch your server. I don't care how drunk you are or how charming you think you are, it is never acceptable.

That's what I told Johnny Depp when I was a waitress.

Obviously, if someone hates people, they shouldn't have a job where they serve the public. But I get the feeling the writer only hates rude, inconsiderate people who grope her; so in this case, the "if you don't like it, quit" argument doesn't hold water. I'm sure an accountant wouldn't want to prepare the taxes of a client who was rude and insulting to him/her, and I'm sure no one would dare say "If you don't like it, stop being an accountant."

Being able to voice your experiences makes the job that much more bearable. Sometimes, you don't get to pick the friggin job, it picks you.
These people are part of her job. It also helps to show that when your wench doesn't show up with your beer, it might be because of one of these fellas.
Case in point(much lesser impact). In "historic downtown St. Charles" last week my very very sweet and thoughtful auntie wanted to take us to the Lewis and Clark restaurant specifically to sit al fresco on the top level of the establishment specifically to have a view of the river while dining. After we hoofed it up several flights of steps (w/ 3 yr old boy in tow) the server shows us to our table....Auntie says (heard it a thousand times in other situations)I want to sit closer to that end by the river.
Server hides it well, but it's apparent that there is a method to this maddness, and wants us at this table. I tell Auntie to smarten up (just kidding) this table is fine. They all had good views. Just some better that others. When auntie acquiesces, I point out how there are 2 servers up here, and how they rotate tables. She would never had picked up on this before. While we lunched, she got to here 2 other tables pick and choose the tables to sit at, and realized that it was at the expense of our server who was quite capable and patient.
That being said, Trailhead beer sucks.

Without wading into what's rude and what's not, I'll say this: The suck it up POV is valid to a point, and that point is DEFINITELY puking and shitting.

No one should have to deal with that shit.

Having worked in several restaurants when I was younger and seeing how the poorly the wait staff was treated by some customers, I decided long ago to never be a waiter or a bartender. It seems that before choosing such a profession that one would consider all positives and negatives that come with the job. Some people tip poorly, some treat waitresses like serving wenches on a pirate ship... and some people are very polite and leave big tips.

Everyone has to eat, not everyone has to be a waitress. Suck it up or get another job.

Welllll... just because it's done doesn't mean it's acceptable and doesn't mean it's to be tolerated. And as long as people shrug it off as being "part of the job" it'll be allowed to continue. "Part of the job" excuses are valid for those jobs in which the job can't be done without said occurrences. Danger is part of the job in fishing. Getting sick is part of the job in a medical profession. Getting dirt under your nails and an aching back is part of the job in farming. Putting up with rude, groping morons needn't be part of the job in serving. We don't, as a rule, grope our doctors, our attorneys, our dentists our teachers. Why do we tell servers it's part of THEIR job?

Face it, underneath it all is the attitude that a cocktail waitress is about 2 steps up from a 'professional girl' and somehow deserving of this crass behavior having asked for it by taking the job. They are, in fact, more likely to be a hard working student trying to get through school, a mother trying to make ends meet or simply an individual trying to break into the job market how ever they can. Simply because they are willing to do a difficult job for whatever reason doesn't mean it's open season to 'do as thou wilt' when they serve you.

It's almost like NY is one huge Mel's Diner .

Same difference.

I know there are exceptions to every rule but for the most part.... I felt her pain. And I'm sorry, but I don't go along with "that's part of the job so suck it up" POV. Just like we mentioned in another thread, there's no reason why we all can't be civil with each other, from whichever side of the tray we're standing.

I agree. There is never any excuse for you to touch your server. I don't care how drunk you are or how charming you think you are, it is never acceptable. Also, don't cuss at me, snap your fingers at me or whistle for me like you're calling a dog. You would think these are common sense boundaries. You'd think...

Absolutely agree. I'm having a very hardtime understanding how anyone could think touching a stranger "because they are drunk" is acceptable anywhere. That is not part of a waitress' job description- nor should they have to tolerate it. On the other hand, generally having to deal with jerks and idiots does come with the territory ( as it does in many other jobs), and not wanting to do that would suggest that maybe a different choice of job might be a good idea.

Deb

[Robin Garr]

Same difference.

No, you're thinking of Los Angeles. Take away the Latinos, and it's NYC-West.